She never opens herself. . . she walks around just as dead as I do sometimes. She lays in bed all day, just like I do. . . on the other side of the wall. Sometimes, we knock to each other on the wall. I see blue. She sees white. . . and we go back to sleep.

Just watched part one of "Angels in America." Wow. It's really, really interesting. It's about New York gays in the late 80s. Lots of gays. There's an attorney who has AIDS but since fancy lawyers aren't homos, he's been saying that it's "liver cancer." There's a jewish guy who's boyfriend has AIDS and he can't handle it, so then he and the Mormon ( Read more... )

In high school, I never really was part of a social group. I had friends that I hung out with at lunch. I would call them the bohemian-mavericky-enlightened people, but that would be generalizing. I hung out with a vast group of people. We were the "others." The people that didn't fit a mold and would happily wear thrift store finds with fish nets ( Read more... )

Found a journal that I had written in about three years ago. Here's an entry from it.

( Journal Entry )

"I don't want to die in my sleep. Can that happen? Can your heart race so fast that it's no longer a thump, but a buzz like a hummingbird, and then the buzz becomes so high frequency that your heart just flashes off?"

He wouldn't let me go to sleep. She said that I should have gone to the hospital. I don't know who "she" was. Just some disembodied ( Read more... )

I've not just begun to notice this. I've actually noticed it for quite a while now, but it's just starting to bother me. Brushing issues aside is something that I am best at, and it's not so much as issue as it is a personal qualm. Lesbianism seems to be the latest fad for young cosmopolitan girls. It makes me sick more than anything else, since of ( Read more... )

I keep having weird flashbacks that are really detached and have nothing to do with what I am currently doing, or thinking, etc. The other day I had a weird memory of the waitress from the Colophone Cafe in Fairhaven. (Washington) I was there with my friend, Michael, and when the waitress turned around, I noticed that tooled into the back of her ( Read more... )

When I was in elementary school, (or at least around that age in my life) I was in girl scouts, but that's not the point of this entry. I had something really bad happen to me, and I had forgotten about it until just a few moments ago. One day, I had this really horrible pain on the left side of my stomach. I only remember that it was the left side ( Read more... )

( January 4, 2003 )

( January 3, 2003 )