Epiphanies and memeage

[ihkelele]

I don't care for celebratory days unless they are intended to draw attention upon an underrated theme. So, all's well with AIDS days, water days, books days, and gay days and women's day and whatever other minority day. But "mother", "father" - what do these "days" mean?
Please tell me who's supposed to be celebrated today: someone who's conceived (

Comments

[ihkelele]

Oh, well, *this* makes more sense, and I like it.
I wonder why the sense itself was not shipped this side of the pond together with the fluffity-fluff, though. Never mind, I know the answer ;)

who married an older man because she liked him before she knew how old he was
That's it! Age is not a question in our case, is it?!

[lulabelle72]

Did not know. Thanks!

[redskyatnight76]

Mothers' Day in the US has a different origin from Mothers' Day in the UK, in that case, because ours is on a different date and has a different history. It used to be called (and still is called, for the purposes of church services that traditionally take place on that day) Mothering Sunday

[ihkelele]

Originally I had made a list of examples, finally deleted for the sake of brevity. Both of yours, speaking of parental role, were in that list. The third would be the POV of children towards a symbolic gesture that can mean not enough, in some cases, or too much in others. You embody both cases, for an unlucky turn of fate, but in my experience most people are bound to make confrontations and have unpleasant memories to resurface. Think of adopted children and their common 'quest' for biological parents, for example, and the hurt it causes in loving adopting parents...
All in all, I'm glad that it's never been a big deal in my family. The more I think of it, the more I'm convinced that it's a stupid celebration :)
*hugs you*

[lulabelle72]

I won't go into the Mother's Day thing. It's a weird day for me. We'll leave it at that.

Change that: I would like to say one thing.

What day is to celebrate those women who made the decision *not* to have children? A decision, not that I'm medically unable. Where is a day to celebrate that?

And... I stop before I offend someone.

As for SSHG, I can only say that you may notice that the overwhelming majority of my fanfic is older Hermione (and hence, Snape in his 50's). Not because I like such an older man, but I like mature women. Actually, I like to read stories where both parties are mature adults. Can't stand the immature little child that teen Hermione is often portrayed as. So for me, it's just a maturity thing, and more to do with Hermione.

I love Snape no matter his age. :)

[redskyatnight76]

We must have been posting simultaneously. Weird!

I agree about the choosing not to have kids thing. But then I also feel like that about weddings. Why do people get presents for deciding to get married? I know it's supposed to be to help them set up home... but excuse me, me and Mr Red Sky also had to set up a home, even though we aren't getting married? Why don't I get to force distant relatives to buy me crockery and towels and Egyptian cotton bedsheets? It really annoys me.

[lulabelle72]

Agreed! I think of that often too. Especially when I've been to someone's weddingS. So they divorced the first one, now they're marrying AGAIN, and I have to give them something, AGAIN? Do I get the first gift back?

And how long do Mr LB and I have to live together before people congratulate us and give us a gift? Isn't ten years enough?

You and Mr Red Sky receive the joy of each other's presence, every single day. :)

(is this the part where we hi-jack her journal? lol)

[ihkelele]

LOL! I lived with my present husband for 7 years before deciding to marry (just for the sake of the kid and upon insistence of said husband - I'm still unconvinced that it was a good idea, personally.)
When we did, we got lots of sets of glasses and potted plants, with the excuse that "we had already set up home" (which wasn't technically true, as we had travelled a lot and the only kitchenware we had were borrowed, inherited or bought at department stores - with the result that now I have appropriate glasses for the strangest alcoholic drinks and little more :DDD

[kribu]

I don't really care much either way about Mothers' Day (apostrophe after the "s", as it's in plural in Estonian). I suppose it gets more attention here in general than it possibly would otherwise because it was one of those forbidden celebratory days in the Soviet times, as an outdated bourgeois thing. Soviet mothers had to make do with 8 March like all other women

[dickgloucester]

I hear you on teen!Snape!

[ihkelele]

LOL, to think I've just told Dicky the 8th March would be my day of choice, exactly for the reason that it doesn't involve motherhood but womanhood as in "let's remember where we come from, and the road that we still have to walk to become fully functional human beings

[kribu]

Well, 8 March was funny in a way. Like boys being made to bring girls flowers in elementary school on 7 March and all that. ;-)

And of course, it was a day off, which was always a good thing. Especially as it was a much nicer reason for a day off than 1 May (and the obligatory parades) or 9 May (and the obligatory parades) or 7 November (celebrating the Great Socialist October Revolution with the obligatory parades) and so on... :-D

We're so completely unreligious here (and always have been, to the great annoyance of our German owners and priests) that the religious aspects of motherhood have absolutely nothing to do with anything, really. So I don't dislike the concept - it's a nice way for most people to be reminded to do something nice for their mothers for a change (because let's be honest, we can talk about how we should all pay attention and show our love and care for our parents, if they so deserve, every day, but... people don't. Children don't. Adult children don't. Life's too busy, people are selfish, and so on

[pyjamapants]

Hopping in at the tail end, here.

Ditto everything that's been said about those of us without children, bad mothers, good mothers, etc.

It irks me every year when the news agencies pull out the figures on 'what salary mom would make if you had to pay someone'. If it were ever done in a reasonably intelligent way, I'd be quite interested. But invariably, it's some sort of smarmy, ineffective way to guilt husbands into doing one or two more chores.

[ihkelele]

I see your point.
Characteristically, it isn't done here. Maybe reducing the "Tireless Work of a Mother"(TM) to money is considered rude *g*

Anyway, many women who can count on another income source (read: employed husband) decide to 'stay home' when they have little children unless they have free help handy, such as willing mothers or MiLs: a normal income simply doesn't cover the cost for paid aids + day nursery. That's probably one of the reasons why Italy has the lowest birthrate in the planet (the other main reason being IMO that we *do* have enough information and money to adopt contraception extensively, whatever the Vatican may preach.)