Epiphanies and memeage
I don't care for celebratory days unless they are intended to draw attention upon an underrated theme. So, all's well with AIDS days, water days, books days, and gay days and women's day and whatever other minority day. But "mother", "father" - what do these "days" mean?
Please tell me who's supposed to be celebrated today: someone who's conceived ( ( Read more... )
Change that: I would like to say one thing.
What day is to celebrate those women who made the decision *not* to have children? A decision, not that I'm medically unable. Where is a day to celebrate that?
And... I stop before I offend someone.
As for SSHG, I can only say that you may notice that the overwhelming majority of my fanfic is older Hermione (and hence, Snape in his 50's). Not because I like such an older man, but I like mature women. Actually, I like to read stories where both parties are mature adults. Can't stand the immature little child that teen Hermione is often portrayed as. So for me, it's just a maturity thing, and more to do with Hermione.
I love Snape no matter his age. :)
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I agree about the choosing not to have kids thing. But then I also feel like that about weddings. Why do people get presents for deciding to get married? I know it's supposed to be to help them set up home... but excuse me, me and Mr Red Sky also had to set up a home, even though we aren't getting married? Why don't I get to force distant relatives to buy me crockery and towels and Egyptian cotton bedsheets? It really annoys me.
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And how long do Mr LB and I have to live together before people congratulate us and give us a gift? Isn't ten years enough?
You and Mr Red Sky receive the joy of each other's presence, every single day. :)
(is this the part where we hi-jack her journal? lol)
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When we did, we got lots of sets of glasses and potted plants, with the excuse that "we had already set up home" (which wasn't technically true, as we had travelled a lot and the only kitchenware we had were borrowed, inherited or bought at department stores - with the result that now I have appropriate glasses for the strangest alcoholic drinks and little more :DDD
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Where is the acknowledgment toward those women who 'do not have children' because they either gave them up for adoption or, as in my case, lost two pregnancies late term? And now I am in your boat. I have no desire to ever be pregnant again.
Where is the day we celebrate humanity?
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This is the most important question.
It should be every day.
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That's what brought me to realise how many people are bound to be hurt because of an occasion I had always dismissed as one of the many subtle ways to emphasise the traditional role of women.
This, I suppose, is particularly remarkable in Mediterranean cultures, where "honour the mother" sounds suspiciously like "Look, we've even given a woman the place of honour in our Empyreum (provided she never did naughty things,) so please keep in your place and don't meddle in men's business."
Basically, I see the whole thing as being given a gold-plated pedestal in exchange for my right to make decisions by myself.
Note that said honour is given on the basis of natural accidents. The only decision a woman is allowed, like Lula says, is to "not" bear children - yet this is still contrasted, or simply impossible, in many cultures, and it still involves a certain extent of social disapproval in modern societies.
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That's it.
I'll add this, as far as I am concerned: I am not defined by my being, or not being, a motherMy festival of choice is Womens' Day, as it - rather, my idea of it - involves all of us, and everyone being part of our minority has experienced some of the issues involved with being "the left side." Of course, my 8th March would be a day of reflection, exchange of greetings with women of the most disparaged ages and circumstances, and lots of fun and laughs. And I wish men "in" who have similar issues or at least are willing to listen, understand and participate with respect. I regret having erased my list of examples, because one of them concerned men who "mother" children, in the sense that they provide for them the way mothers usually do. I'm sure they struggle with time, job and life the way typical mothers do ( ... )
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I really like the part where we get to play practical jokes on men!
It's a lovely dream, this worldwide party celebrating womanhood. I like it very much. And just as I was fantasizing about a big party with all my female friends, and how much fun that would be...
I caught up with my f-list and read someone talking about how a woman is able to conceive children, and that that is true magic.
Science. Biology. That's what that is. If there is magic to be found between changing diapers and watching their jerky starts and stops as they take the car out for the first time themselves, I think it might be in those wee hours of the night when they are sleeping and a mother -- who bore them or not -- looks upon her child and gets that wondrous feeling that it was all worth it ( ... )
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