TROY

[igrab]

LOL I'M WATCHING TROY
[don't shoot me if I'm not even remotely historically accurate, I get most of my learnings from fiction.]

Comments

[mcollinknight]

lol @ all of this. Have you read sarahtales' parody? It's COMPLETELY BRILLIANT. FAKE COUSINS!

I AGREE WITH ALL OF THIS, ESPECIALLY MARRYING HECTOR. (I MAY HAVE NAMED MY CAT HECTOR. UHM.) Also his wife is smoking and they make me happy in the pants when they are all wifey together.

Oh Paris. So pretty. So dumb.

I AGREE THAT THE MOVIE SHOULD HAVE HAD BRISEIS BE ALL AWESOME AND SMACK ACHILLES AROUND WITHOUT SLEEPING WITH HIM, ARGH. OH FILMMAKERS. ALSO DNW ALL THE HISTORICAL INACCURACIES (LIKE, THEY DON'T EVEN SAY MENALAUS' NAME RIGHT. I MIGHT HAVE FORGIVEN THE WHOLE COINS-HAVEN'T-BEEN-INVENTED-YET-WTF THING AND ALSO YOU CAN'T KILL AGAMEMNON, HE'S IMPORTANT LATER, BUT REALLY).

UNF. THAT FIGHT SCENE THO. UNFFFFFFFF.

[igrab]

i skimmed it over but i think i'm still in the head place where i'm thinking about this way, way too seriously so i can't stop and rofl at it, i'm too worked up.

Also his wife is smoking and they make me happy in the pants when they are all wifey together. LOL THIS IN ALL THOSE WORDS EXACTLY!!

i'm much more forgiving of a lack of historical accuracy if it makes for entertaining cinema, so while i'm not necessarily raging that agamemnon dies (ngl, it would have been WAY COOLER if he'd killed briseis, okay) i am in UTTER RAGE that they just ruined what could have been a beautiful non-relationship and grafted on a meaningless sex connection and it totally, totally destroyed achilles's death and the entire purpose of it. ARGH.

auuuugh i really want to go back and watch that fight scene. and achilles and patroclus sparring because omg, adorable.

oooohhhh, nice icon. pretty.

[mcollinknight]

It's funny, but it's also kind of biting in parts (especially concerning Helen).

It might have been more interesting and tragic if she'd died, I suppose, though I don't know why Agamemnon would have *killed* her necessarily, he seemed to want to keep her alive-ish. I also don't think the stabbing-Agamemnon really suits her character, but people act crazy when they're around people who've tried to rape them and are holding a sharp knife, so I suppose I can acquiesce to that one. But the oh-achilles-you're-so-fine part is still anger-inducing (ESPECIALLY BECAUSE, UHM... DUBIOUS CONSENT MUCH ://///).

Oh, Patroclus. So adorbs. (Also: ODYSSEUS. *YES*.)

[jenjennyjen]

So yeah, I need to rewatch this movie yet again. It has been a while since I've seen it, but I loved it, despite it not being canon. I could get past most of it, except the Achilles-and-Patroclus-are-cousins bit. Because seriously? Just no. Because it's the end of the world if a strong main character in a Hollywood film is gay. Oh noes! The gays are invading our media! Aaaaahhhhhhhh

[igrab]

Sean Bean as Odysseus was amazing; it's too bad we didn't get to see more of him. I keep giggling in my head because he's Zeus, in Percy Jackson, and while I approve of him as Zeus I do not approve of how they portrayed... Zeus... in the movie. He's supposed to be all ~black haired~ and LONG black hair, at that, or something, idek but i hate how directors shy away from black hair so much IT MAKES ME RAGE.

like, i would've been fine if they'd stuck to the original briseis thought, too - that she's achilles's conquest/property and he whined like a bitch and stopped fighting the war because agamemnon took her away. like, pick one or the other, okay? but of course they could never do that because ~modern audiences~ would be furious but WTF is wrong with a relationship - and he could love her, even, he could love her more and she could have so much more meaning - WHERE THEY DON'T SLEEP TOGETHER? because the whole POINT is that he saved her from being raped, and yeah he doesn't respect the gods but ahjskhajkhdf;lsjgfkhgfjfggsadhjf okay i'm

[lafemmeluna]

LOLS!!!!

STILL LOLLING!!!!

OMG,YOUR ENDLESS "DIS BITCH" RANTS COUPLED WITH "HECTORRRRR" HAD ME DYING! I JUST...EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS WAS LOVE. I ACTUALLY DIDN'T MIND "WHATSHERTITS" TOO MUCH THOUGH,YES, I WAS USUALLY, "OMG, SHUT YOUR FUCKING PIEHOLE, ARGH".

RE: ALEXANDER
THIS IS WHAT A FRIEND OF MINE SAID WHEN IT FIRST CAME OUT AND IT'S BEEN ON MY LJ USER INFO EVER SINCE:
"But if sodomy, eunuchs, and really fake blonde mullets are wrong, then, baby, I don't want to be right."
TRUMFFAX

OMG, STILL IN LOL INDUCED CAPSLOCK!

[igrab]

My summary of Troy:

OMFG ACHILLES AND PATROCLUS.
MARRY ME HECTOR.
DIE DUMB BITCH.

repeat, repeat, repeat! seriously, i think that's all i actually said in this, i just kept finding new ways to say it (though i was seriously running out of ways to say 'die dumb bitch' by the end)