Is it OK to Just Break Down and Cry?

[iamcompufrog]

There are times I wonder if there is any reason to life, or if it is all just a cosmic joke perpetrated by some insane author. I think I am real, and not just a character in an adult-oriented karmic-book. But, then again, that IS what I would expect under the circumstances anyway

Comments

[meowgurlgv]

*sigh* and you have me dumping on you on top of all this......im sorry dear.
love you still though I do.

[iamcompufrog]

You have never "dumped" on me. Please don't worry about THAT!

Friends are here for each other. Always.

Just that 1400 miles makes it terribly difficult to give you a hug, you know.

Hugs

[journeyrose]

Good luck. and take care. {{{{hugs}}}}}}

Re: Hugs

[iamcompufrog]

Thank You.

I need all the luck I can get.

Hope you are better, and stay better.

[jcfiala]

I wish I could help somehow, but my own life has suddenly become much, much too 'interesting' to give me time enough to figure out what to do next. :(

I can wish you good luck, though, and that you've got.

[iamcompufrog]

Believe me, JC... I know. I've been following your hassles, too.

And my wishes to you as well - If I had resources I would be there.

But, in reality, that is the entire problem for so many of us - we have all the "support" in the universe, but none of us have any resources, energy, capacity, physical presence, etc. left for ourselves. There is nothing left for the people we care about.

And that is, of course, precisely why I am at the end of my wits and strength. I can do nothing more than scramble and hold on, try to sleep some, get some rest, and keep it together until I can find a point to make my stand - and hope it is not my last stand.

I don't even know where I will be living 90-120 days from now. I know I WILL be living, though. Maybe that is enough.

But, thank you - and good luck to you as well. Maybe one of us will get it eventually.

[sol_rei]

Wow...that's a lot on your plate. I'll be sending you some positive vibes. *hugs* *sends positive vibes*

... for us all - each and every one

[iamcompufrog]

Vibes, especially when well-played, are appreciated.

Unfortunately, we appear to need a large serving platter to fit just the important items without significant overcrowding.
Which then goes back to the original question, which is: Why is it that I am to live only to be forced to watch, and participate in, the destruction and demise of all that is good and worthy in my life, and the unneeded and undesired physical, emotional, and mental trauma of innocent children who, while having no part of the cause, are required to feel much (if not most) of the pain? How are they even to understand that they have none of the blame

Re: ... for us all - each and every one

[sol_rei]

Hmmm...you know, your story reminds me a lot of the origins to my favourite book series. I haven't known you that long, so I am unsure of your spiritual status...but I feel compelled to share this with you, and you can decide whether to look into it or not.

There are books that changed my own, as well as many other people's, lives. It's a series called 'Conversations with God' by Neale Donald Walsch. They began when Neale's life was falling apart: his relationship, his health, his employment. He screamed out, demanding answers...and remarkably, he received them.

I admit...not everyone who has read them has been touched by them...but I personally know quite a few. So, I welcome you to check it out, if you fueled by any hope of feeling better or improving your life. I took the liberty of checking out the Manitou Springs Public Library for you. They currently have the first book checked in under call no. 133.9 WALS in nonfiction.

Whatever the path you choose to take, peace and blessing to you, friend. *hugs*

Re: ... for us all - each and every one

[iamcompufrog]

spiritual status

I could use the old trite line, "very spiritual but not terribly religious" and be reasonably accurate. The family is traditionally Jewish, but synagogues seem to disappear as I get close to them these days. Perhaps it is the button I wear at times, which says "Jewitch".

Perhaps what I most believe in is the power of the mind and spirit. In the last 18 months I have had several "near death" experiences - and for some mostly unknown reason I turned around and walked AWAY from "the light." I know not why, just that it was - for me, by choice - not the right time or place for it.

I just resent having my children, family and friends punished for MY decision not to leave them. I don't wish to be punished, either - but maybe it's their hurt and pain that is intended to be my tribulation for making what appeared to be the better choice. I really don't know.

Whatever the path you choose to take, peace and blessing to you, friend. *hugs*Thank you. And I will look into the book you have listed. There is no way it

[fionnulaharp]

I feel your pain dear friend.

I'm around to listen to you.

[iamcompufrog]

I know. From you that means a great deal. Thank you.