If I am not in my office, it is probably your fault. If you must contact me, leave your message here though it is utterly up to my discretion as to whether or not I will answer it.

Do not waste my time!

I would not leave anything here that you might regret leaving later. I do not appreciate compliments, either.

I should not have been required to go through the strenuous task of application. It was a waste of my valuable time.

( Nevertheless here it is )