I went to SEan's house for dinner not too long ago. His parents scared me a bit. Surprisingly enough they hardly talked to me the entire time. It was sort of a relief but then again I almost take that as being a bad sign. Either the next day or the day after, Sean came to my house for dinner ( it could've been a week later.. thats how much I ( Read more... )

I feel completely... messed up. Quite honestly... I compare myself to Shauni... I feel like I've become a stuck up , cold bitch like her... and its aweful... All I ever do is have negative thoughts.. it seems like all I ever do is piss people off.. or annoy the crap out of them... The only person I can really relate to at school is Katie and even ( Read more... )

I'd have to agree with everything Katie said about the dance. It was lame. It was annoying. It was gross. It was... just plain fucking retarded... and I paid for someone to go so that they could insult me at dinner and than completely ignore me at the dance. Oh yes.. and than they show their true self by leaving with their best friend's date/crush ( Read more... )

I am sort of at this strange point of confusion and bewilderment. I had a very very very rough night... followed by a semi rough day. I am not exactly going to go into why my night sucked beyond all belief. It really isn't anyone's business. Sean still seems pretty mad although he isn't mad at me which is a big relief. I've put alot of thought into ( Read more... )

I suppose nothing too too interesting happened today. Samantha was, of course, threatened to get her ass kicked. Of course no one followed through with it but I'll make sure to always be around... just in case... After school I pretty much went home and did absolutely nothing.. we ordered Chinese food, I worked on Chem, and than Me and Sean went to ( Read more... )

This entry won't be too long because of course I have to go to school in about... oh... 5 minutes or so... but theres a few things I sort of wanted to get across... I'm pretty sick of the sophomores acting like they are still in Jr. High. If they hadn't noticed, they are the ones always harrassing Sam. Do they not see that they got what they wanted ( Read more... )

So the dance was last night. It wasn't that great... Sure.. I had a good time.. but I wanted to leave alot earlier than I did. I just sort of got sick of dancing.. My ankles hurt and my corset was rubbing my underarms.. Stevey was right about her Butte friends.. they are WAY OVERLY HAPPY... That must be a big adjustment for her because we are ( Read more... )

Yesterday was probablly the saddest I've been in a while. I failed my history test. I was devastated about that even though I get to retake it. After that was practice. I hate going to practice because I feel like I am completely unneeded. Brita wasn't helping me out very much. Just yelling. Its been like that for a while and I've pretty much lost ( Read more... )

So out of curiousity... I downloaded and watched all the meth commercials today. Eek. It was pretty crazy. The way those people looked. They were freaky. I'm never doing that shit. I am trying so hard to stop what I am doing right now. Its gotten better because I don't do any of it half as much as I used to. I just... gotta stop.. before I hurt

I almost died today. My heart stopped. I stopped breathing. You know how it is thought that your life flashes before your eyes? Its true. It does. But when my heart stopped and my breathing ceased, it wasn't my past that I saw. It was my future. I saw my life without Sean. If there is such thing as the 'worst pain the world', I experienced it in ( Read more... )