.::. The hole in the pit of my stomach .::.
I suppose nothing too too interesting happened today. Samantha was, of course, threatened to get her ass kicked. Of course no one followed through with it but I'll make sure to always be around... just in case... After school I pretty much went home and did absolutely nothing.. we ordered Chinese food, I worked on Chem, and than Me and Sean went to my Youth Group in Butte. We were in the process of moving all of our stuff downstairs into the new Youth Room. Its really cool. I realized last night that I actually really like my new Youth Group. The people are alot alot friendlier.. my Youth Pastor ( who by the way is in his early early 20's) is alot more mature than Bill. Its pleasant to go. There is a Teen Worship Band... its nice... I played the old Piano that used to play all the time there.. that church has so many memories... Thats where I saw Nick for the first time... I must've kissed Kyle there like a million times... They were my best friends and I feel guilty that I tend to forget about them now-a-days. I tried to teach Sean a few thing son the piano. We sort of accomplished Heart and Soul... that was awesome... I had alot of fun playing that piano with him... The way home was sort of upsetting because Emily made a few comments at me that actually really hurt my feelings... I know that its sort of queer that I 1) let Emily (of all people) hurt my feelings and 2) the fact that I am saying ' hurt my feelings'... I don't normally say that... but I know that when people tell me that their feelings are hurt, I feel aweful..Sean pretty much made me feel better but I felt down the whole rest of the night.. I did her laundry for her and everything... and she had absolutely nothing nice to say to me...Oh well though.. there isn't much I can do about it now... I wrote Sean a note yesterday that I probablly shouldn't have wrote or gave to him.. It talked about how i felt about Alaska... how scared I am... It was bad.. I shouldn't have done that.. I don't want him to stop doing what he wants to do because of me... I just hope to God that it'll all work out in the end...