Bi-Weekly Challenge: Milholland quote.
Who: Remus Lupin
What: Our heroes are people and people are flawed. Don't let that taint the thing you love. -Randy K. Milholland
Where: Hogwarts
When: Now, in grownhp6words timeline after this.
Why: One, because he himself is piecing things together. Two, because it's Remus. And Moony. And like they ever let their children leave without responding??
No matter how clean the halls were, no matter how far away he could get from there and the infirmary, it didn't change the fact that Remus could still smell the blood as if he was standing there in front of it. If it wasn't because he was still struggling with the effects of that damn full moon when he had gone hunting, the shift in him would have been far more noticeable. How edgy he felt again, how just the reminder of blood sometimes made him salivate.
The change in him was terrifying. The urges had never been so strong, and it was for that reason that Remus...
Well...
He wasn't sure what had happened the day Sebastian had been attacked.
Nights were just as horrible for him to fall asleep, even if he had perfected the art of looking and even sounding asleep, so that deprivation would leave him with the need to sometimes nap during the day at random moments. It was for that reason that he had kept using the room that he had used at hogwarts while he had been away from home. It was easier than apparition or even the floo network to simply crash for a few hours before going back home like normal.
Except for that day.
He had been in his room, napping since his lessons were over. The plan had been to work some more before leaving, maybe nap, and leave, but he had ended up falling asleep much sooner than he had anticipated. He knew that much, but the next clear memory was that he was rushing towards the infirmary. had he truly been so tired that he had just gotten out of bed without remembering and had rushed out without even being fully awake? And if that was the case, what assured him that...
Merlin, he didn't want to complete that thought.
But it didn't matter if he wanted or not, because his mind was relentless that way. He kept thinking about it, about the possibility of blanking out long enough for...something else. He was just thinking about that when he had walked by his desk and had seen Maisie's letter, and at once he picked it up to read.
...
Gone.
She had her reasons. She felt lost, she needed to get away. She needed to make sense of things. He should be more understanding, shouldn't he?
Scorpius probably remembered how understanding Remus Lupin - but especially Moony - was in cases like these.
The situations were different, of course, and the approach was as well which was possibly the only reason why he didn't rush out to find her at once. Instead, he paced for a few minutes, trying to clear his head to think this through. Did his children realize how hard it was for him to actually do that, be clear and rational, when the wolf was like this? Scorpius probably remembered as well.
Good Godric, his little girl was gone.
Because that was what he focused on. That was what mattered, not what she had confessed.
After a few more minutes, he finally wrote back,
Dear Maisie,
I want to say that going away won't fix this, but I have a feeling you know this deep down already, and I would be the world's biggest hypocrite if I did. But, because I have done the same, I can tell you that going away isn't always the best solution.
I understand that need to be away, however, and the need to clear your head. I have been feeling that way so much lately, that that is probably one of the main reasons why I am not reacting how I did when Scorpius left. Different situations, I know, but... Well, you are my child. I know you don't want us to worry, but you also know that is impossible to do. Right now all I want is to keep you safe.
I will not go look for you just yet. Merlin, I wish you would have simply talked to me, because...there are some things you don't know, but I hope you give me a chance to speak with you soon. If not I will most definitely find a way to do so. Scorpius can tell you all about that. Let's just say, I understand more than you think.
There is a place where you can stay, and I will not bother you there. I just hate the thought of you being in unfamiliar places in the frame of mind you are in. The home where I grew up is available for you to use; I use it when I need to get away for a few hours, and if you accept the key I am attaching belongs to it. The address is on the back of this piece of parchment.
I hope to hear from you soon. Otherwise disgruntled owls might make sudden appearances... I love you, Maisie, with all my heart. And there is nothing in this world that you could ever say or do to change that.
Always,
Dad
Once the owl was sent, Remus paced a few more times, pinched the bridge of his nose, and headed out to find Dora.
What: Our heroes are people and people are flawed. Don't let that taint the thing you love. -Randy K. Milholland
Where: Hogwarts
When: Now, in grownhp6words timeline after this.
Why: One, because he himself is piecing things together. Two, because it's Remus. And Moony. And like they ever let their children leave without responding??
No matter how clean the halls were, no matter how far away he could get from there and the infirmary, it didn't change the fact that Remus could still smell the blood as if he was standing there in front of it. If it wasn't because he was still struggling with the effects of that damn full moon when he had gone hunting, the shift in him would have been far more noticeable. How edgy he felt again, how just the reminder of blood sometimes made him salivate.
The change in him was terrifying. The urges had never been so strong, and it was for that reason that Remus...
Well...
He wasn't sure what had happened the day Sebastian had been attacked.
Nights were just as horrible for him to fall asleep, even if he had perfected the art of looking and even sounding asleep, so that deprivation would leave him with the need to sometimes nap during the day at random moments. It was for that reason that he had kept using the room that he had used at hogwarts while he had been away from home. It was easier than apparition or even the floo network to simply crash for a few hours before going back home like normal.
Except for that day.
He had been in his room, napping since his lessons were over. The plan had been to work some more before leaving, maybe nap, and leave, but he had ended up falling asleep much sooner than he had anticipated. He knew that much, but the next clear memory was that he was rushing towards the infirmary. had he truly been so tired that he had just gotten out of bed without remembering and had rushed out without even being fully awake? And if that was the case, what assured him that...
Merlin, he didn't want to complete that thought.
But it didn't matter if he wanted or not, because his mind was relentless that way. He kept thinking about it, about the possibility of blanking out long enough for...something else. He was just thinking about that when he had walked by his desk and had seen Maisie's letter, and at once he picked it up to read.
...
Gone.
She had her reasons. She felt lost, she needed to get away. She needed to make sense of things. He should be more understanding, shouldn't he?
Scorpius probably remembered how understanding Remus Lupin - but especially Moony - was in cases like these.
The situations were different, of course, and the approach was as well which was possibly the only reason why he didn't rush out to find her at once. Instead, he paced for a few minutes, trying to clear his head to think this through. Did his children realize how hard it was for him to actually do that, be clear and rational, when the wolf was like this? Scorpius probably remembered as well.
Good Godric, his little girl was gone.
Because that was what he focused on. That was what mattered, not what she had confessed.
After a few more minutes, he finally wrote back,
Dear Maisie,
I want to say that going away won't fix this, but I have a feeling you know this deep down already, and I would be the world's biggest hypocrite if I did. But, because I have done the same, I can tell you that going away isn't always the best solution.
I understand that need to be away, however, and the need to clear your head. I have been feeling that way so much lately, that that is probably one of the main reasons why I am not reacting how I did when Scorpius left. Different situations, I know, but... Well, you are my child. I know you don't want us to worry, but you also know that is impossible to do. Right now all I want is to keep you safe.
I will not go look for you just yet. Merlin, I wish you would have simply talked to me, because...there are some things you don't know, but I hope you give me a chance to speak with you soon. If not I will most definitely find a way to do so. Scorpius can tell you all about that. Let's just say, I understand more than you think.
There is a place where you can stay, and I will not bother you there. I just hate the thought of you being in unfamiliar places in the frame of mind you are in. The home where I grew up is available for you to use; I use it when I need to get away for a few hours, and if you accept the key I am attaching belongs to it. The address is on the back of this piece of parchment.
I hope to hear from you soon. Otherwise disgruntled owls might make sudden appearances... I love you, Maisie, with all my heart. And there is nothing in this world that you could ever say or do to change that.
Always,
Dad
Once the owl was sent, Remus paced a few more times, pinched the bridge of his nose, and headed out to find Dora.