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Comments 14

snuck August 17 2012, 02:00:01 UTC
Why on earth is he still living there?

Tell me you are getting the restraining order and he's out on his arse within a day at most! It's been weeks there's been this level of violence in your home.

And racking your gun might be really satisfying to you right now (and resolve the issue for that moment) but mightn't it just start an arms race? What's to stop him getting his hands on a gun, knowing you have them too?

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darkfire007 August 17 2012, 03:00:31 UTC
And racking your gun might be really satisfying to you right now (and resolve the issue for that moment) but mightn't it just start an arms race? What's to stop him getting his hands on a gun, knowing you have them too?

This. I know that you, OP, seem to be (because i don't know you personally) an experienced firearms owner. However, LA seems to be pretty f'ing unstable.

I'm not saying don't stand up for yourself, but I'd be worried about the consequences of what he could perceive as a threat (and really it kind of was). Due to his instability, there's no predicting his next move and that's the scary part of this.

Good on you for going to the cops and pursuing a restraining order. That will so come in handy if you have to take this guy to court.

Good luck.

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biomimetical August 17 2012, 02:58:48 UTC
Your safety is the most important thing here. Even though you are building a legal case again Lardass, and even though the police are on your side, he could still fuck you over.

Can you stay at anyone else's place for awhile? I'm seriously scared of you getting killed in the middle of the night. I'm also scared you'll get killed trying to defend James or something. Please please please put your life first, in front of the immature lardass and criminal ex-boyfriend. Neither of them are worth your life.

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kiwischan August 17 2012, 03:07:28 UTC
it may be hard to believe, but all of my friends here are in relatively terrible living situations...so this is where i'll have to stay for just under a month now before i can move into my new place..and i really can't afford to do hotels or paying someone else rent because i need money to be able to afford my new place v.v
about 2 months ago, i installed a second lock on the inside of my room, that you can only lock and unlock from the inside..so he'd have to literally break down the door to get in during the night--in which case, i'd be ready with a gun.
the police officer that is returning tomorrow will be giving lardass the choice of staying with his mother during the weekend or in jail due to the level of crazy going on..so we'll see how well that plays out.

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biomimetical August 17 2012, 03:56:34 UTC
The commenter below suggested women's shelters. But seriously, if you don't update us in a month, I will assume the worst and call up all the sheriff's offices in Virginia and report a murder. (ФДФ)

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kiwischan August 17 2012, 04:32:56 UTC
oh trust me, i will keep everyone updated T_T though i can't stay with them, i always text my friends here (especially the ones who live less than a 5min drive away..) when i'm out or home...just updating them on where i am and how i'm doing.
i've been able to stay overnight with a couple of them...but since most of them either still live with their parents or have kids of their own..long-term anything is out-of-the-question.. and if i'm feeling especially creeped out, i'll have a friend or two just hang out with me in the house (usually gets lardass to leave because well...he's weird and terrible.).

my new place and roommate are on the horizon! just gotta stay sane and safe til it's time

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aim2misbhave August 17 2012, 03:40:18 UTC
So, if Lardass can get to the papers and bills and stuff in your room, how is he not getting to your guns? Do you have a gun safe or anything like that?

And you say friends or hotels aren't options, but what about going to a women's shelter?

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kiwischan August 17 2012, 04:28:36 UTC
lol i am really safe and responsible with my weapons that i don't carry on me daily...the shotgun has a trigger lock (the key is always on me), and the handguns are in safes with multiple locks.
but my parents have suggested going into shelters, too...but the only issue i have with that is that i've got a kitty and know nobody who'd be able to take care of him :/

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aim2misbhave August 17 2012, 04:56:53 UTC
Um, I just commented, but since I put a link I think it might've got marked as spam. Just Google "ahimsa house safe havens directory", and click on the first result, and there'll be a page with a long list of organizations that provide housing and care for animals of women who are in shelters, and it's also got a link to another list of shelters that actually allow pets. (And it's probably better for the kitty if it's not in that apartment any more, too)

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katze_neko_mew August 17 2012, 06:42:22 UTC
Just gotta say, whoever thought to consider animals in shelter situations is a fucking saint.

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katze_neko_mew August 17 2012, 06:39:07 UTC
Your...partner...? needs to ALSO make a claim against this guy, ESPECIALLY after what you say happened today. Get that guy written up at work and hopefully fired if not severely reprimanded. That shit is UNACCEPTABLE. I'd say it's even more so stalking towards him, since you've said this guy has confessed attraction. He needs some serious help.

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cassandraterra August 17 2012, 08:42:15 UTC
This. As much as I am worried about your well being (and that of your kitty) your BF needs to follow suit. He needs to talk to the cops and his boss or boss's boss. Restraining order. Maybe the best place for LA is at the hospital in the psyche ward. He needs care. I hope this resolves soon and has a nice happy ending for all those involved. Please get LA out of the house ASAP. Make sure he gives up the key and change the locks anyways.

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teffielynne August 18 2012, 04:14:18 UTC
If I lived in VA I would offer to let you crash at my place until yours was ready. Unfortunately, I live in MI. I hope you get to your new place soon without anything truly horrific occurring in the meantime.

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