FIC: Lobotomy Heart

[homo_pink]

J2 AU, NC-17, 5k - It's the summer of 1968 and Jensen, son of a doctor, has become fascinated with a patient.
warnings for: underage, mental disorders, hypersexuality, light bloodplay, past violence, offensive/outdated terms

gift for blackrabbit42 for spn_j2_xmas(your list of likes made me so incredibly happy and i do hope this is something along the lines of what you

Comments

[blackrabbit42]

...features of morbid jealousy

THIS FIC IS MINE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

...please dirty me

This fic is tearing me in two parts... one part that wants to go back and read all the beautiful things you tucked in here-hand in mine like a curl of hair kept safe in a ruby locket-and another part that needs to go back and read all the dirty-bad-wrong bits-fuck-weak, fondling himself between the legs, grinding the blankets, ready, ready.

OK, there's a third part too... part that wants to dissect all the clever bits and figure out how the hell you did it. HOW???? How is this Jared: He wasn't very coordinated, not in those initial moments, and Jensen knew by the stop-and-start of it, the jerky churn of his hips, his concentrated brow, that Jared was giving him something special, was gracing Jensen with the gift of the innocent, perhaps his last shred of it. also this Jared: mouthed along the soft inner part of his knee, arch of his foot, stuttered out when Jared was shoving at Jensen's backside, thrusting relentlessly,

[homo_pink]

so so happy and relieved you liked! i was so thrilled to receive you and even more so when i read your likes. they truly felt like a gift for me ♥ (also, i'd gotten a comment notif from you talking about imaginary jensen fic, midway through writing this - so i thought i'd try my hand at the opposite this time. i do hope it worked!)

hope you had a very lovely december!

[tebtosca]

I knew I could count on YOU, my adorable beloved, to keep me from being the only one to write deliciously creepy things for Christmas haha :D

Ugh, you. I don't even know what to say to you anymore because I'm at the point where I should just cut off my face and exchange it for you writing me wonderful things for the rest of my (faceless) life

[homo_pink]

you are the absolute best, always. creepy christmas is the best christmas.

♥ ♥

[big_heart_june]

I'm with teb, what could I possibly even say to you anymore? IDEK. ohgodohgodohgod, such fucking talent, I could weep. I read this right before I had to leave for Christmas with my family and it stayed with me the entire time. I could quote every single line back to you, your brain, I want to lick it. allllll of it soo brilliantly creepily done, your Jensen !! and your beautifully chosen words, they just slay me...soo fucking perfect, I can't even. you absolutely surprised me too, you should've seen my face lol. never ever change, lovely, and I know I tell you every single time but I'll happily tell you forever, we're soooooooooooooo fucking lucky to have you and I adore you and your beautiful words ♥♥♥ hope you had a lovely Christmas, darling ♥

[homo_pink]

covering my face with my hands right now, you're forever living up to your username. the sweetest, absolute sweetest. this fandom is actually the most lucky to have you, you have no idea. thank you so so much, forever happy that you like my little words ♥ ♥ i did have a very lovely one, i hope so much the same for you!

[charliebleecker]

Last one -- woot!

Okay, so this fic COMPLETELY caught me by surprise at the end. Fucking shocked the hell out of me. So I can't actually give you a real comment except to say that I very much have to read it again and just fell in absolute love with their obsession for each other throughout, and the sickness of it all, and i am just doubly fucking psyched that it was all in jensen's head. GAWD.

(though i really hope jared comes back for more appearances)

(just to check: at the start when jensen momentarily freaks that they're putting him in the mental ward and then calms down when he realizes that's not the case at all and he's just being silly.... that's when the whole delusion actually starts, right? they really did put him in the institution at that point, and he just didn't realize it, right?)

[homo_pink]

hi there

[charliebleecker]

squee! thanks so much for such a thoughtful reply -- definitely got my own thoughts churning (and got me super excited for both books recs)!

As for the replies, please don't worry or rush at all. You absolutely don't even have to respond to them all. I wrote a ton, and I knew it was going to be a lot for you to read (in retrospect, I really should have spaced them out over a few days, but I binge read and then immediately felt guilty and anxious that I wouldn't comment if I didn't do it all right away) -- especially since you obviously wrote them all over a much longer period of time than it took for me to read. hah.

but this reply is perfect and so helpful. it is enough already even if you don't have the chance to get to the other comments. ^_^

[viviansface]

you do it every time. you break me every time, in the best way possible. i love your words so fucking much, and this was no exception.

my fascination with your writing, or rather my falling in love with it, has reached the point where i need to stop reading for a bit and scream because i can't deal with how amazing it is. (or, when i know the ending is near, i simply scream at my screen and continue reading.)

i feel emotionally drained BUT I WANT TO READ MORE at the same time. i always do. sighs. thank you for this.