FIC: Lobotomy Heart

[homo_pink]

J2 AU, NC-17, 5k - It's the summer of 1968 and Jensen, son of a doctor, has become fascinated with a patient.
warnings for: underage, mental disorders, hypersexuality, light bloodplay, past violence, offensive/outdated terms

gift for blackrabbit42 for spn_j2_xmas(your list of likes made me so incredibly happy and i do hope this is something along the lines of what you

Comments

[homo_pink]

hi there!

so sorry it's taken me a few days to get back to you. i didn't want you to think i wasn't going to get around to replying to your gorgeous comments - i most definitely am, but they're just so wonderful and thoughtful and so in depth that i've truly no idea what to say back to them that can adequately express my thanks enough. but i do very genuinely thank you for them, you've been such a joy in my inbox. will reply to your message ASAP too, but for now, this:

i usually write in a wishy-washy world, i suppose. in my head, i think 'maybe it happened like this, or this, or this' and never really set roots into any one thing. if somebody wants to interpret things a certain way, that's absolutely fine by me. case in point, that zombie one you read, i ended it somewhat openly, as i myself hadn't decided if jared ate jensen's tongue and gained the ability to speak because of this, and then killed jensen himself - or if that bit was born solely in jensen's head (passed down from his mother possibly?), or maybe all of it was.

and you should absolutely read PZB's stuff, yes, especially that book. that's my very favorite. i do have a super soft spot for anything dahmer related - (zombie by joyce carol oates is also another fave, and another take on the same story. you might like to check that out as well? i enjoyed it wholly.) - but even so, it's my most coveted thing and i still keep it next to my bed and reach for it again and again. although it's much gorier than my thing and much more eloquently written. i promise.

back to this particular story though, i think that maybe yes, the main delusion started from the time of arrival into the hospital. maybe the incident with the nanny happened much earlier in his life but was only recently discovered, thus the start of the whole thing.

i apologize if this explanation was too vague or - weird, i suppose. most of the time i like to keep things really loose and just let things go as they go.

♥ ♥ ♥ will reply to your other comments in just a bit! thanks so much again for your kindness

[charliebleecker]

squee! thanks so much for such a thoughtful reply -- definitely got my own thoughts churning (and got me super excited for both books recs)!

As for the replies, please don't worry or rush at all. You absolutely don't even have to respond to them all. I wrote a ton, and I knew it was going to be a lot for you to read (in retrospect, I really should have spaced them out over a few days, but I binge read and then immediately felt guilty and anxious that I wouldn't comment if I didn't do it all right away) -- especially since you obviously wrote them all over a much longer period of time than it took for me to read. hah.

but this reply is perfect and so helpful. it is enough already even if you don't have the chance to get to the other comments. ^_^