frail and bedazzled

[hollowdreamer]

can someone help me. i am in some sort of smashing pumpkins obsession as of late. i've always liked them. but never this much. i think i'm just getting really excited about zwan and kind of sad that the pumpkins had to end. but i've got a pumpkins dvd in my dvd player that i keep watching. i forced my friends and mom to watch the videos with

Comments

[bookofsorrow]

Mikeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee *clings* come back to us, we miss you! and you don't need to be afraid to talk to us. we loves you lots. and you know, at least i think you know.. that you can talk to me anytime you need too. i'm usually on the SN's: PervyWoodFancier, Oh My Potter, Galadriels Light and LilBritishOrgasm... IM me sometime! *clings more*

[andrya]

I know what its like to be scared to talk to people. I'm scared to even talk to those who were once close to me for fear they will see what I have become now, I would rather them remember me another way. But anyway, You like Zwan? I'm really liking the stuff I've gotten off Kazaa so far, but its live stuff so sometimes you can't make out the words and yeah *growls*, but it sounds good, and their single "honestly" well it just kicks ass. I am sad the pumpkins broke up, but very happy for Zwan.

[hollowdreamer]

Yeah, I've been digging the Zwan lately. I just a couple weeks ago took a trip down to Hollywood just to see them play. It was a very long ordeal, and I came close to not seeing them a few times. But it finally all worked out. And they were amazing. I can't wait to see them again. I downloaded some of those live songs too. But I could never listen to them that much because of all the people in the audience screaming...and it's like it's right in your ear. So i'm pretty much just waiting 'til the album comes out. If you didn't know, it's coming out the 28th of this month. But lucky me for working at a cd store, I can get it at least a day before that. I really love being able to do that. And hopefully we'll get some cool Zwan stickers or posters or promotional stuff. That would kick ass. Yeah, so in conclusion...Zwan is cool.

Re:

[andrya]

hehe, yes they are cool. You suck, you get to work at a cool job like a CD store..meanwhile I'm a lazy bum who hasn't had a job since 2000. They haven't played around here anywhere I don't think..or at least I haven't heard about it, of course, around here its all pop fanatics so I don't hear about things til 2 weeks after they happen, it kinda sucks but oh well.

[jessahere]

mike, i am very proud that you are going to be slacking in the smokeage, but what i think doesn't matter, the cool thing is that yr doing it for yourself...rock on!

[hollowdreamer]

I know you commented with this quite a bit ago. But I've really meant to respond. Sorry it took this long though. I just wanted to say that you made a very good point that I didn't even realize. I never usually do anything for myself. And for once, I've been trying to quit this, for no other reason than the fact that it'll make me feel better about myself. And that's more important than doing it for anyone else. Though, I must admit, it wasn't worked out quite as well as I had hoped. But still, I have cut back a lot in comparison. So that's a start. And thank you for your support. It really means and helps a lot. Much love.
-Mike

[jessahere]

i think it's still wonderful that you're even making an effort. i know what you're going through...to an extent. i mean, i can't say "oh, i understand" because it's different for everyone...i've just been to the point where i asked myself, "what am i doing this for every single day?"..it was like habit. wake up, smoke a bowl. eat something, smoke a bowl, watch a movie, smoke a bowl (before the movie..*w*), it became *so* over rated and i forgot why i even started smoking in the first place. so, i know how it feels to want to quit but can't. i've been sober now for 2 1/2 years....you can't eat a whole elephant at once, you have to take bites to devour the hugeness of it all....one bite at a time baby, one bite at a time