business cards

[goddess_bell]

All over the school, business card size rectangles have appeared. Some of them are in really strange or inaccessible places. Any time someone says the word "wish", the nearest one will slide over to them along the wall or floor.

Down on your luck? Karma kicking your ass? Yearning for a special someone?
Owl the
GODDESS TECHNICAL HELP LINE

Comments

[sevencloudday]

*Fuchsia looks up and sees a card. She bites her lip and takes it.* Yes, this exactly what I need! He won't run off on me now! Or be shy or coy or secretly hate me.

((OOC: Uh-oh))

[goddess_bell]

((occ: of course, you /do/ still have to owl -- the Helpline doesn't know the card's been picked up ^^))

[sevencloudday]

((I will I'm sorta busy now.))

owl!

[mightymorfin]

Morfin is kicking his heels outside the Hufflepuff common room, wondering what to do next. As he sometimes does, he is talking to himself. "I wish I knew the best way to start that schoolwide support group the Hat asked me to start!"

At the word wish, a small card whisks right up to Morfin. He picks it up, puzzled. "Goddess Technical Help Line?" Maybe this will help him!

He composes an owl right away, writing in large block letters.

DEAR GODDESS TECHNICAL HELP LINE

I AM SUPPOSED TO TALK TO SOME PSYCHIATRISTS AND START A SUPPORT GROUP BECAUSE THE HAT THINKS I SHOULD DO IT AND IT WOULD HELP PEOPLE. I WANT TO HELP PEOPLE! I DON'T KNOW WHO TO TALK TO ABOUT THIS. CAN YOU HELP ME?

SINCERELY
MORFIN JONES

Re: owl!

[goddess_bell]

((OOC: *howls* This is exactly what I was hoping for.))

Tiny, cursive script appears on the back of the card Morfin is holding. It reads, 'Please hold while we process your access request ...'
'Processing ... '
'GRANTED.'
'A technician will arrive at your location shortly. Please remain where you are.'

About thirty seconds later, the shiny, reflective metal surface of a set of armour nearby begins to glow dimly. The glow brightens, and Belldandy, in full Goddess regalia (from the Hogwarts uniform she was wearing immediately previous (if anyone wants to see her vanish)) appears. She touches down lightly, clasping her hands in front of her, and bows to Morfin. She then presents her personal business card. "Hello! I am the Goddess Belldandy. What is your wish?"

Re: owl!

[mightymorfin]

Morfin is shocked and awed! "It really is a help line run by a Goddess!" He takes the business card and tucks it away carefully in his cardigan pocket.

"Well, you see, like I said in my owl ... the Sorting Hat made me promise that if it let me into Hogwarts, I would start a schoolwide support group. I have a lot of experience being in therapy, and there are so many people at Hogwarts that need help! The Hat told me all about it! There are addicts in Ravenclaw and emo kids in Gryffindor and and and ... I don't even know where to start! And the Hat wants me to arrange it under a psychiatrist's supervision, but the only doctor I know here so far is Dr. Wilson, who is very nice but isn't a psychiatrist. I heard some bad things about Dr. Lecter and I won't even go near him." Morfin is afraid that Dr. Lecter will manipulate him into a relapse from his hard-won state of medicated tranquility.

Re: owl!

[goddess_bell]

Belldandy was inexpressibly relieved as Morfin began to speak. At last, here was a situation she could be of some use in. /This/ was her duty -- bringing happiness to the lives of mortals.

"So ... your wish is to find a psychiatrist who will help you with your support group?"

[arrakis_savior]

Paul Atreides sits in the Slytherin common room, pondering the appearance at Hogwarts of his mysterious doppelganger Cooper. "How to know whether he poses a threat? No one can find him, not even me. He comes and goes at will. I wish I had some reliable information on that man."

At the word wish, a card whisks toward him.

Hmm... I suppose it couldn't hurt anything. He writes an owl.

To the Goddess Help Service:

I need reliable information on one Agent Cooper, who may or may not be a student at Hogwarts.

Sincerely,
Paul Atreides, Muad'Dib

[goddess_bell]

Tiny, cursive script is scrawled in glowing letters across the floor at Paul's feet. It reads, 'Please hold while we process your access request ...'
'Processing ... '
'GRANTED.'
'A technician will arrive at your location shortly. Please remain where you are.'

Bell is jerked from the book she was reading through the handmirror lying on a nearby table. As she comes through a mirror in the Slytherin common room, her uniform shimmers and morphs into Goddess regalia, and the symbols on her forehead and cheeks appear to enlarge. She touches down lightly, clasping her hands in front of her, and bows. She then presents her personal business card. "Hello! I am the Goddess Belldandy. What is your wish?"

[arrakis_savior]

Used to unusual phenomena, Paul is not taken aback by Goddess Belldandy's appearance, but he is impressed. He returns the bow. "I'm Paul Atreides, and there's a man here at Hogwarts who looks just like me. He calls himself Agent Cooper. No one seems to know who he is or why he's here, and it worries me. Plus, at least one person has mistaken me for him. I've tried to track him down but it seems he just materializes at random and can't be found. In my universe, there are people called Tleilaxu Face Dancers, who can morph into anyone's likeness ... and some are trained assassins. I need some reliable information on this Cooper. Who is he? Is he a threat to me, or to anyone at this school?"

[goddess_bell]

"Your wish is to know the identity and threat level of the person Agent Dale Cooper." Barely before Belldandy completes the sentence, Yggdrasil's data transfer function seizes her, lifting her from her feet in the usual light-show. Swirling runic computer code writhes around her blowing robes before slamming into the diamond on her forehead. As the lights die, Belldandy's eyes fall shut, and she crumples to the floor.

[ponderingponder]

Ponder paused when he saw the card. He loathed the idea of having to resort to asking a god for help (because that might lead to believing in the them and praying and all a manner of other silly things) but it wouldn't hurt to ask.

To Goddess Technical Help Line,

I would most appreciate it if you could find me a way to communicate (and possibly send things to and from) with the Discworld.

Respectfully,
Ponder Stibbons

[goddess_bell]

Tiny, cursive script writes itself across the air before Ponder's face. It reads, 'Please hold while we process your access request ...'
'Processing ... '
'GRANTED.'
'A technician will arrive at your location shortly. Please remain where you are.'

Bell is pulled through a mirror hanging in a stairwell, emerging dressed in her Goddess robes and seeming slightly flustered. She touches down lightly, clasping her hands in front of her, and bows. She then presents her personal business card. "Hello! I am the Goddess Belldandy. What is your wish?"

[ponderingponder]

He cleared his throat. "Um... Could you find a way to communicate with the Disc? More specifically Unseen University, if you can. I've thought about trying to use L-Space but that'd be pretty dangerous. And the Librarian doesn't like people messing about with it who don't know what they're doing."

[goddess_bell]

((Sorry to take so long, my mother ate me for the weekend))

Belldandy touches her chin thoughtfully. "You wish to communicate with your home dimens -- ?!" Her words end in a strangled yelp as Yggdrasil's data transfer seizes her, lifting her off her feet. Runic code streams skyward from her symbol, before the entire column explodes in a blinding spray of light. Code seems to hit the walls with an audible splat, but when vision returns there is no damage to anything.

In a strange, near-mechanical voice, Belldandy says, "Your request has been denied. Heaven advises you to research Hogwarts magic more deeply."