application for T-Rex (Dinosaur Comics)

[im_wacky_times]

So there's this T-Rex in the middle of the Sorting Room. He is looking around for something to stomp. "Where's the tiny house?" he demands. (He can totally talk.) "Where's the tiny woman? NOT THAT THERE IS ANY MISOGYNY IN THIS QUESTION. I am just used to stomping on a tiny woman and her gender is incidental! ANYWAY I WOULD LIKE TO STOMP ON

Comments

[dinosaurman]

Having been through this once before, a talking dinosaur was not a huge shock for Alan Grant, until he got to question four.

The sound of mental gears grinding was almost audible, and the will to live was visibly fading from Grant's eyes as he read, and therefore visualized, the implications of dinosaur zombie porn.

"Oh my God," was all he could manage.

[im_wacky_times]

"You can hear him too? Awesome! Everyone else pretends they can't!"

[dinosaurman]

"You. Hear God." If he recovered from the shock and the mental images fast enough, he might even be able to talk to T-Rex in complete sentences.

The sun might explode and destroy the Earth first.

[im_wacky_times]

"Yeah, and the Devil! Only the Devil mostly wants to talk about video games." What a talkative human! Not creepy like the raccoons and cephalopods.

[republikatt]

"Monkeys are whores! But they're also delicious." Bucky paused, wondering whether or not he should admit that he had never actually eaten a monkey. He decided to go with it. Monkeys = delicious was common knowledge.

"Do you have any merch to go with your game? And if not, are you willing to pay someone--say, some genius purebred Siamese--to market some?"

[im_wacky_times]

T-Rex had never eaten a monkey either, but he was sure they tasted like chicken. "Dude, you're telling me! Monkeys are definitely delicious. In this game their deliciousness is not so much of a factor though. They collect coins through many levels of coin-collecting, to become Champion of the Monkey Whores. Marketing is a possibility!"

Less astute in the ways of marketing than the average feline, T-Rex ventured: "I would split the profits?"

[republikatt]

"I guess deliciousness would be kind of hard to express using games as a median. Enslaving them to give you coins is a good goal, though." Bucky was big on making people work for him without paying them. Speaking of which... "Of course! You could split them, say, thirty-eighty. That's a hundred and ten total, because quality products are better than a hundred percent. You following me, Lizard Boy?"

[im_wacky_times]

T-Rex liked math jokes as much as the next dinosaur, but this phoney math was too much. "Are you trying to prevent me from knowing absolute truth?" he demanded. "Twenty-eighty is what it has to be!"

Wait ...

[omg_sunflora]

Let's be honest, there was only one response Sunflora could make to this.

"EEEEEEEEEEEEEKKKKKKKKKKK!!!!!!"

[im_wacky_times]

"So plants scream in this universe? I guess that's better than French rap." T-Rex looked down at the shrieking tiny plant and pondered its stompability. Nah, not juicy enough.

[omg_sunflora]

"BIG SCARY...uh, NOT POKEMON!" Sunflora hid under the table again.

[im_wacky_times]

"Duh!" Timeless wisdom.

[charlesofdensen]

"French rap?" Maybe Ofdensen had been at home longer than he thought.

[im_wacky_times]

"You didn't know? Francophones can rap too! You don't have to go to an alternate universe to hear it." T-Rex pitied the human for his ignorance of the music scene. "You would have to go to an alternate universe to hear me rapping in French, because I am neither French nor a rapper, that is all!"

[charlesofdensen]

"I...see." Yeah, this was weird. Better act normal.

"Has anyone explained what this place is?"

[im_wacky_times]

"No, should they?"

[ringo_raver]

Ryuk watched the T-Rex answer the questions with an amused grin on his face, and an apple in his hand.

"I like you."

[im_wacky_times]

"Most people do!"

[ringo_raver]

"Most people are weird, though. I bet they'd run if they saw you. They hate things they think are scary."

No, Ryuk hasn't seen scary dinosaur movies, why do you ask?

[im_wacky_times]

"If you mean humans, their legs aren't long enough to make a difference. If you mean dinosaurs, they aren't scared, they are impressed! And if you mean raccoons and cephalopods, they're the ones who are scary."