Up To No Good (Closed - Kurama, Kusuriyuri, Kuronue, Yukimura)

[prettypendulum]

(Yukimura's appearance is mun approved. As is the break in etc etc. Kuro's going to be in so much troooouble.)

Most of the time, Kuronue was fine. He felt perfectly normal.

And then things would trigger something in his brain that seemed to bring out the darker side within him. Adjusting to life at Hogwarts had taken a while, and he believed that he

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[elegantsamurai]

Yukimura had been staring alternately at the bottle of sake, which remained untouched, the table, and the door. He was struggling to understand everything Kurama had told him, to try and figure out where that put his relationship with Kuronue. His hand rubbed the mark on his neck, occasionally tightening around it. He'd thought he'd weighed everything before he'd agreed, before he'd taken the steps that led to it, yet he'd never considered something like this

[prettypendulum]

"Thank you," he said softly. He winced once he was inside, and muttered an apology for intruding just under his breath. He wasn't used to awkwardness, and this certainly was. He toyed with the sleeves of his yukata as he turned to watch Yukimura, not wanting to move or say anything in fear of it insulting his lover (ex-lover? Gods, he hoped not) in some way

[elegantsamurai]

Yukimura was surprised that Kuronue would perform nukazuku before him. That kept him from asking if Kuronue truly believed they could have stopped what had happened. He knelt, hesitating a moment before he placed his hand on Kuronue's head. "I do not hate you," he said, his voice soft but certain. "I am hurt, angry, confused, but I do not hate you."

[prettypendulum]

Kuronue breathed a sigh of relief, but he kept his head down. His shoulders shook, but his voice was even. His fingers clawed at the floor, tangling in his damp hair. "I've caused you pain, and doubt, and I've ruined myself in your eyes. Yukimura, please forgive me. I do not make excuses, and I know that though the mononoke barely let me breathe, I still believe that I could have prevented most of it somehow. I could have prevented everything and you wouldn't have to doubt my worth..."

[elegantsamurai]

"I will ask you one thing, Kuronue, and I ask for an honest answer to it." He didn't really want to ask the question, but he had to know. "Which of you chose me? To which am I bound?"

[prettypendulum]

Kuronue stilled. He felt insulted for a split second and then anger seeped up through it all. It wasn't the normal black rage he was used to however. It was clear-burning, innocent fire.

He raised his head, forgetting the tears in his eyes and his wish of maintaining his position until Yukimura gave him permission. "How could you say that?" he cried, his voice breaking. He was pitiful, at the moment, and he didn't care. Now was a time for honesty. Truth. "Me! I love you!" He slammed a hand on the floor, then let his head drop again. He remained kneeling, but didn't press his head to the floor again. "I tried to keep you out of this, even if it didn't let me see it was wrong, you were separate. You were mine. When I was with you, everything else didn't matter. It was like you had the power to destroy it, or at least suppress it."

He took a few deep breaths to calm himself. "And I would hope that I may still think of myself as yours."

[elegantsamurai]

Yukimura couldn't deny the honesty, and the pain, in Kuronue's voice and expression. He brought his hands up, tangling them in the hair on either side of Kuronue's face, and pressed his own face to the top of Kuronue's head. "I needed to know," he whispered. "I needed to know because I love you." He sighed, tilting his head slightly so his forehead pressed against Kuronue's head. "There is still much to work through, but I needed to know that first."

[prettypendulum]

The tears fell and what calm he'd managed to gain shattered beneath his feet. More than anything, he was relieved. He reached up and clutched at Yukimura's sleeves lightly.

Kayo had said she loved him too, but he couldn't be with her, and so he still worried. Not as much, but he was at least much more sure of himself and how things stood with Yukimura. "Thank you," he whispered, not trusting his voice to be any louder for the moment.

"If it helps, I've given the others my blessings, and I've moved on. I want to focus on you, and only you." Not that he was saying he was interested in monogamy, just that he wanted Yukimura to be the only person he fixated on and cared for.

[elegantsamurai]

"So, you spoke with the peddler?" Yukimura said. "Kurama had said you were passed out when he came here." He stroked Kuronue's hair. Part of him wanted to hold his lover, but he wasn't ready for that. He lifted Kuronue's head so that they could look each other in the eye. "I love you, and I forgive you, but I am still hurt," he said, his voice soft to minimize the pain in it. "We will need to talk, to work things out. However, I don't think we are in the right mind to do that now." He, himself, had to let things settle out in his mind before he was ready to deal with them.

[prettypendulum]

"I spoke with him, yes. He was there to explain what had happened when I woke." And he'd been kind and understand and Kuronue couldn't understand how he could have been selfish enough to want to deny Kurama that when they were so obviously in love.

He wiped at his tears, finding their coldness irritating against his skin. "I don't know how he killed it, or what it looked like, but one moment he was asking me my form and the next I was staring at the ceiling, feeling...clean and empty. I apologised to him, for everything I'd done. He didn't deserve my treatment." He offered a smile, then was silent for a moment.

"Could I...stay with you tonight? I'll sleep separately, I don't care, I just want to be near you..."

[elegantsamurai]

"Later, if you wish to know, I will tell you what Kurama told me. For now, I do not wish to think of it." He leaned forward and kissed the corner of Kuronue's mouth. It was almost too much intimacy just then. "For now, if you are hungry, I will request food, but yes, please, stay tonight. You may sleep beside me, but, for tonight, let us sleep clothed." Everything was too raw, but he did want Kuronue near him.

[prettypendulum]

He leaned into the kiss, not daring to ask for more. His stomach reminded him that Kusuriyuri had interrupted them before they'd had a chance to have breakfast that morning and he nodded, suddenly hungry. "Food would be welcome, yes. And later, please tell me."

He wouldn't have dreamed of even attempting to get physically close to Yukimura. He'd honestly expected to be told to go back to his own room. The prospect of being able to sleep beside Yukimura, maybe even hold him, was far more than he'd hoped for. "And thank you," he added quietly.

[elegantsamurai]

Yukimura caressed Kuronue's cheek with his thumb. He rose, silently, and went to the door. He was almost surprised to see a house elf waiting there. He requested a light dinner of miso soup and salad, his own stomach too twisted yet to eat a full meal. He looked over his shoulder at Kuronue, to see if he wanted anything else.

[prettypendulum]

Kuronue rose, shaking his head silently, saying that no, he didn't desire anything else. He just wanted to have something to eat and then go to sleep at this point.

He moved over to Yukimura's low table and sat, crossing his legs under him. He rubbed at his cheeks and eyes, calming himself down, then placed his hands in his lap and watched Yukimura.

[elegantsamurai]

Yukimura turned back to the door to find another elf bringing what he'd requested already. He thanked the elves and closed the door after they'd seen the food set on the table.

He went to kneel on the end of the table, caddy corner to Kuronue. He reached for his lover's hand, that odd need to touch and yet not be close still under his skin. "Kurama mentioned that the peddler handled everything well, that if certain things had not been done, the results would have been vastly different," he said softly. "Had he not sent Kurama," though Kurama hadn't said as much, Yukimura had gathered he hadn't come entirely willingly, "I would be far angrier with you. Today has been the singularly worst day I have ever experienced," he said, squeezing Kuronue's hand.

[prettypendulum]

Kuronue nodded his thanks to the elf and Yukimura. When he took his hand he squeezed it gently in return, and looked at him, grateful for the touch. "Vengeful spirits often kill, I'm glad that it never escalated to that, and that Kusuriyuri knew how to deal with it." He sighed heavily, tilting his head a little, let his shoulders and wings sag a little. "I'm sorry I brought this upon you. You don't deserve it."