(Yukimura's appearance is mun approved. As is the break in etc etc. Kuro's going to be in so much troooouble.)
Most of the time, Kuronue was fine. He felt perfectly normal.
And then things would trigger something in his brain that seemed to bring out the darker side within him. Adjusting to life at Hogwarts had taken a while, and he believed that he
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Words, unlike movement, burst forth from his lips however, his eyes soft and pleading. "I kept you out of the loop, I didn't tell you everything, and that was dishonest. You asked me only for honesty, and I've trampled all over that, haven't I?" He paused only for a moment, his hands fisting in the material of his yukata. There was an ache in his chest and a kind of frenzy gripped him. "I'm sorry, it was cruel and wrong and dishonest and I know I should have told you. We could have stopped it from going this far, we could have saved everyone so much pain."
Again he paused, trying to think of what to do, unable to stop now that the words were flowing. He dropped to his knees and pressed his head to the floor, his hands extended before him palm down. "I'm not worthy of your forgiveness and yet I selfishly ask that you please consider it. Please don't hate me, Yukimura, please..."
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He raised his head, forgetting the tears in his eyes and his wish of maintaining his position until Yukimura gave him permission. "How could you say that?" he cried, his voice breaking. He was pitiful, at the moment, and he didn't care. Now was a time for honesty. Truth. "Me! I love you!" He slammed a hand on the floor, then let his head drop again. He remained kneeling, but didn't press his head to the floor again. "I tried to keep you out of this, even if it didn't let me see it was wrong, you were separate. You were mine. When I was with you, everything else didn't matter. It was like you had the power to destroy it, or at least suppress it."
He took a few deep breaths to calm himself. "And I would hope that I may still think of myself as yours."
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Kayo had said she loved him too, but he couldn't be with her, and so he still worried. Not as much, but he was at least much more sure of himself and how things stood with Yukimura. "Thank you," he whispered, not trusting his voice to be any louder for the moment.
"If it helps, I've given the others my blessings, and I've moved on. I want to focus on you, and only you." Not that he was saying he was interested in monogamy, just that he wanted Yukimura to be the only person he fixated on and cared for.
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He wiped at his tears, finding their coldness irritating against his skin. "I don't know how he killed it, or what it looked like, but one moment he was asking me my form and the next I was staring at the ceiling, feeling...clean and empty. I apologised to him, for everything I'd done. He didn't deserve my treatment." He offered a smile, then was silent for a moment.
"Could I...stay with you tonight? I'll sleep separately, I don't care, I just want to be near you..."
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He wouldn't have dreamed of even attempting to get physically close to Yukimura. He'd honestly expected to be told to go back to his own room. The prospect of being able to sleep beside Yukimura, maybe even hold him, was far more than he'd hoped for. "And thank you," he added quietly.
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He moved over to Yukimura's low table and sat, crossing his legs under him. He rubbed at his cheeks and eyes, calming himself down, then placed his hands in his lap and watched Yukimura.
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He went to kneel on the end of the table, caddy corner to Kuronue. He reached for his lover's hand, that odd need to touch and yet not be close still under his skin. "Kurama mentioned that the peddler handled everything well, that if certain things had not been done, the results would have been vastly different," he said softly. "Had he not sent Kurama," though Kurama hadn't said as much, Yukimura had gathered he hadn't come entirely willingly, "I would be far angrier with you. Today has been the singularly worst day I have ever experienced," he said, squeezing Kuronue's hand.
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