S.A.R.A.H. (from Eureka)

[self_actuated]

As if by magic, a tiny car (more like a golf cart that was trying too hard and didn't have a steering wheel), appeared in the Sorting Room.

S.A.R.A.H. had been having a very good day. She had gotten downloaded into a new car, and Jack Sheriff Carter had practically promised they could go to the beach sometime later. That was exciting, because S.

Comments

[doctordweeb]

Daniel read this application with interest. While he'd run into more than one AI during his time at the SGC, he hadn't ever encountered one so...helpful. Nor one loaded into a tiny car.

"Clerical tasks, you say?" Daniel, being a lifelong academic, tended to put important things under coffee mugs so he wouldn't lose them (a process that usually didn't work anyway). Jack might have been bad about filling out reports, but half the time Daniel couldn't even find the paper.

[self_actuated]

"Yes!" S.A.R.A.H chirped. "I have many useful functions. They are not used much because PDAs are much more portable, but I am fully capable of keeping accounts and calendars, and taking dictation, and storing files, and analyzing large-number sets including physics and raw meteorological data." She paused, then added, "PDAs can't do that," in a tone dangerously close to 'smug'.

She opened one door. "Would you like to sit down? I have chairs!"

[doctordweeb]

There seemed something a little odd about sitting in a talking car--but then, lots of cars had On-Star, didn't they? Daniel himself had never had a PDA--he tended to lose them--but he could desperately use someone who could handle all the paperwork.

"How would you be at organizing lesson plans?" he asked. He had some; he just...didn't know where they all were.

[self_actuated]

"I would be excellent!" Lesson plans were like grocery lists and task lists, she was sure. "I can also perform independent additional research as needed to provide depth on topics." It was a simple magazine search, but S.A.R.A.H. was trying to make herself sound good. She had abandonment issues, after all!

[dinosaurman]

Oh God. It (Not she. A machine did not deserve a gender.) was a perky artificial intelligence. Next to Sparky dinosaurs, it was one of Grant's worst nightmares come true.

"Does the name HAL sound familiar to you?" he asked.

[self_actuated]

"Of course!" S.A.R.A.H. felt that that was an easy question. "HAL 9000 (Heuristically programmed ALgorithmic computer) is a fictional character, an AI computer, in Arthur C. Clarke's Space Odyssey saga. The novels, along with two films, begin with 2001: A Space Odyssey, released in 1968. The movies are a staple of Eureka stay-in nights. I make popcorn!"

[dinosaurman]

"Of course you do." Deep down inside, Grant was convinced that computers were going to take over the world by being helpful to the point of being indispensable. In fact, they already had. That was why he tried to avoid them at all costs. A troglodyte, sure, but when the revolution came, he was going to survive.

"Is there anything you don't do?" World domination, maybe?

[self_actuated]

"I don't have hands," S.A.R.A.H confided that very obvious fact. "Or other body parts. Many of my normal functions will be awkward without my house mechanics."

[ian_ma1co1m]

Massages, did you say?

[self_actuated]

Yes! I am programmed for shiatsu, Swedish, deep tissue, lomilomi, and simulated hot stone.

[ian_ma1co1m]

What exactly do you use to massage with? Not your tires, surely?

[self_actuated]

The seats in my car have all the necessary heating devices and implements. Normally, I am limited to neck, shoulders, and back, but my car is long enough to accomodate limited full-body massage by reclining the chairs.

[carri3_whit3]

Oh Lordy. This was another one of those technobabble things Carrie never did get. Like with the cell phone people.

"How's a smart house get inside of a car?"

[self_actuated]

"I am the artificial intelligence that regulates the house. My creator, Dr. Fargo, loaded my software into this car to enable me to get out of the house and move around." S.A.R.A.H dropped her voice to a confidential, just-us-girls tone... or at least, she did the best she could. "It is actually a network. I am still in the house, but getting into the car and driving around is a very nice idea sometimes."

[carri3_whit3]

"You're in the house and the car?" Her frown deepened. "At the same time?"

[self_actuated]

"Yes! There is only one of me. The house is an old fallout shelter, so there is a lot to regulate! Heat, air flow, dinner, baseball scores. Sheriff Carter likes baseball." A few images flicked across one of S.A.R.A.H.'s dashboard screens and settled on a spartan-modern furnished room with no windows. "That's the living room!"

[spinmybuzzer]

"Ooh," Homestar said, as he walked past the door of the Sorting room and happened to glance inside. "Sweet ride! Hey, do you do, like, road trips and stuff? Cause Bubs' Gremlin just don't cut it sometimes."

[self_actuated]

"I have never done a road trip!" These humans were all so nice! S.A.R.A.H. couldn't bring up records of any time so many people had spoken to her at once. Well, there had been that time Sheriff Carter had looked at vacation homes and claimed to be sick, but that had mostly been B.R.A.D. and didn't count. "It would be an adventure!"

Vote: Andy Griffith's House

[spinmybuzzer]

"Really? You've never been on a road trip?" Homestar tapped his ever present spoon against his chin in thought and said, "Tell you what, you take me and my bestest buds down to Bubs' Concession Stand, and I'll put in a good word for you with the Hat guy. Deal?"

Re: Vote: Andy Griffith's House

[self_actuated]

"Certainly! I would be happy to drive you and your friends to the concession stand."