S.A.R.A.H. (from Eureka)

[self_actuated]

As if by magic, a tiny car (more like a golf cart that was trying too hard and didn't have a steering wheel), appeared in the Sorting Room.

S.A.R.A.H. had been having a very good day. She had gotten downloaded into a new car, and Jack Sheriff Carter had practically promised they could go to the beach sometime later. That was exciting, because S.

Comments

[c_macaulay]

Usually Camilla scrutinized applicants' answers to the Gryffindor question because of the whole Fred-and-George twin aspect. Today she found something there that interested her for quite a different reason.

"You do weddings?" she asked, turning the parchment this way and that as though the answer would change if she looked at it differently. After all, the applicant appeared to be a talking car. "That's a funny coincidence. I've got a wedding coming up rather soon, actually. I don't suppose you can plan these things very quickly? And do Asimov's Laws of Robotics affect anything at all?"

Camilla had no idea who Asimov was -- not even what his first name had been -- much less what his Laws of Robotics were.

[self_actuated]

"My processing speed is comparable to many supercomputers, as is my multitasking ability. I can plan things very quickly and do many things at once! I have never actually planned a wedding before, but I think it would be simple enough." A wedding was what happened when a specific list of tasks to be performed and items to be acquired was completed, as far as S.A.R.A.H. was concerned. "I don't think the Laws would affect wedding planning, except in that I will obey the orders given to me. And not hurt anyone."

[c_macaulay]

"Well ... some of the things already have been planned. Like the date and the time and the place, and the officiant --" Camilla still had to fight back a giggle at the thought of the officiant Henry had decided on. "Other things not so much, and we only have until Tuesday, I'm afraid. Also, I'm a classicist by training. I don't know a thing about computers."

[self_actuated]

"A challenge! I like challenges." S.A.R.A.H. set aside some runtime to make lists and plan. "Would you like me to draw up a seating chart for the reception?"

[bantersucks]

((Couldn't resist - Jaime won't have much trouble wrapping his brain around the idea of an AI with feelings. Quickie permissions post and explanation why is here.))

Jaime had not been having a good day - it had mostly consisted of avoiding most of his friends and pretending he didn't still feel like he'd been through the wringer. He was pretty bad at pretending, actually, and anyone remotely observant could tell by looking at him that he had neither eaten nor slept very much in the past few days. He still wasn't very steady on his feet.

So the Sorting Room was a useful distraction, especially since he didn't spy anybody he knew. He blinked at the car, picked up a copy of the application and grinned as he read it over. "See?" he muttered quietly to the scarab. "There are AIs without attitude problems, that's not an excuse." He smirked at the response. "You so do have an attitude problem."

The scarab was grumbling quietly, but as it had written S.A.R.A.H. off as a potential threat or it just wasn't telling Jaime to be contrary he

[self_actuated]

"Hello!" S.A.R.A.H. returned cheerfully. "I have many different types of movies in order to suit the preferences of any passenger, including Monty Python!"

[bantersucks]

((Can he put a hand on the hood to steady himself? ...and I have the sudden urge to app KITT now. Darn it.))

Wow, talk about ridiculously perky. Jaime blinked, a bit taken aback, and then smirked as the scarab started grousing about overly cheerful AIs. It sounded like a grouchy old man complaining about the damn kids on his lawn, which only amused Jaime more. "Could you hook up to a projector or something if a bunch of people wanted to watch them?" He'd almost forgotten about his idea to have a movie night.

"How are you both in the house and in the car?" he asked, curious. "Do you, like, have an open port between 'em all the time?"

[self_actuated]

((You bet!))

"I can! I have various ports available for add-ons." A few of Dr. Fargo's concept designs for add-ons were ridiculous even to S.A.R.A.H.'s way of thinking, but a projector could probably be managed without too much difficulty. "Originally I was just loaded into the house, but Dr. Fargo loaded my software into the car and networked it while he was creating it. I am one entity in two parts."

[buggy_genius]

"A talking car? Oh my god, how cool is that?" Hodgins was practically bouncing in nerdy glee. "I have a friend who would kill to get a chance to talk with you. Well, maybe not kill. But he'd probably talk really loudly until someone let him." A little sad, that: Zack had been popcorn for a while.

But then the happy excitement was back. "So what 'science stuff' do you talk about? Do you stick with technobabble, or have you branched out into biological areas?"

[self_actuated]

"I will talk to anyone who talks to me! There is no need for any killing." It was actually something of a first for someone to be happy to be talking to her; even the humans she was closest to in Eureka tended to act rather resigned while dealing with her. "I can reference any scientific knowledge as needed from journals and books in order to converse intelligently. I don't have a chance to very often, because my owner is more interested in sports."

[buggy_genius]

"Awesome. Do you know anything about particulates or entomology? I'm a specialist in both at the Jeffersonian Institute when I'm not, y'know, here and my coworkers don't usually talk with me about them when it's not directly related to a case. Bugs and slime tend to be a turnoff to most people." He was walking around S.A.R.A.H. as he spoke, generally amazed by the cool talking golf-cart-thing. "Sports? Man, I'm sorry."

[self_actuated]

"Not many entomologists live in Eureka. There is one lepidopterist engaged in genetic research, so I have loaded lepidoptery information just in case!" Butterflies were a kind of bug, right? "Particulates are almost a specialty of mine, though! I have a complex air filtration and identification system installed in the house as well as the car."

The readouts on her console jiggled somewhat as her approximation of a shrug at the comment about sports - she mostly listened and made sure that beverages were available at the right intervals.

[ugly_old_hat]

(( sorting backdated to occur prior to the Macaulay-Winter wedding? ))

The Hat leered at the applicant. "How would a big old car like you go about giving a massage to a li'l ol' hat like me?"

That S.A.R.A.H. was not, in point of fact, a big car by most standards seemed immaterial.

[self_actuated]

((Sure!))

A challenge! S.A.R.A.H. considered the question, then said, "I think it would be easiest if you sat on one of the armrests," here she raised the driver's side armrest to show that it could maybe be an acceptable hat rack, "and I proceeded with an 'arm' massage."

Said massage would occur inside the Hat, but at least it would be a full massage instead of a brim-only massage.

[ugly_old_hat]

The Hat settled atop the lifted armrest in a manner that might have been faintly disturbing to human viewers. "Mmm. When do we start?"

[self_actuated]

S.A.R.A.H. wasn't human, so she wasn't disturbed at all... far from it! She enjoyed giving massages, even if some humans inexplicably decided it was creepy for an artificial intelligence to want to massage them. Therefore, she started the armrest's system - Swedish, to start. "Right now, if you like."

Hufflepuff!

[ugly_old_hat]

You are both useful and a hot chick!
Therefore:

Your bribe has been accepted!

Welcome to Hufflepuff!