Comments | hogwarts_hocus: Application: Petyr Baelish (A.K.A. Littlefinger), A Song of Ice and Fire

petyr_baelish in hogwarts_hocus

Application: Petyr Baelish (A.K.A. Littlefinger), A Song of Ice and Fire

Aug 10, 2007 10:56

((Littlefinger's motives for coming to Hogwarts stolen from Camilla. Thanks!))

A short man with grey-green eyes and a goatee strolled leisurely through the Great Hall to the head table. His elegant silk blue cloak with its silver mockingbird clasp was caked with mud, but he was smiling. "I should really have a talk with that Thoros," he drawled. " ( Read more... )

arya stark, george weasley, sirius black, lily potter, strong bad, gustav margueriff, application, wolfram von bielefeld, strong sad, petyr baelish, sansa stark, harry potter, heather kessler, bialar crais, camilla macaulay, fred weasley, ron weasley

Comments 80

wolfram_jyari August 10 2007, 17:41:16 UTC

The blond wrinkled his nose. And people thought he was arrogant. "Are you saying that you would drink nearly 300 gold pieces? That's just wasteful; it reminds me of that servant boy who would eat bugs." Wolfram didn't mention that all the other children would squeal and cheer Bug Boy on, and Wolfram still resented it.

"Buy a new coat or nightie if you wish to express your wealth. It would be more effective and healthy. I hope you are taking this advice to heart!" That said, Wolfram eyes grew a bit wider, and he clapped his hands together once. "Can I have a dragon now?"

petyr_baelish August 10 2007, 19:16:09 UTC

What in the seven hells is this brat talking about? Petyr wondered, fighting to keep his affable smile plastered to his face. Then he understood.

"No, not real gold, I'm afraid," he said, in what he hoped was a friendly, charming voice. "Arbor Gold is a wine, and 277 is the year of the vintage. If I swallowed the king's gold instead of making it, I wouldn't have lasted long as Master of the Coin." Perfect, Littlefinger thought. Just a touch of gentle humour to win him over.

Petyr felt a mixture of outrage and amusement at this young man's rude attempt at begging and his strange advice (no one had ever accused Littlefinger of spending too little money on clothing). But he desperately needed allies at Hogwarts to help him find his beloved. Perhaps this one would do. He reached into the bulging purse at his belt, pulled out a gold coin, and placed it in the blond's hand.

"Here's your dragon, but next time, you could try saying please. And what might your name be?"

wolfram_jyari August 10 2007, 20:20:03 UTC

Wolfram blushed, embarrassed by his error. And, keeping with habit, Wolfram covered his humiliation with anger. He also used anger to cover sadness, affection, and all other forms of rage. It made things simpler and more complicated at the same time ( ... )

petyr_baelish August 11 2007, 04:20:23 UTC

Although Petyr was usually a master at reading people (if he did say so himself), he didn't know Wolfram well enough to realize that Wolfram was covering his humiliation with anger. He just saw the anger. But Littlefinger's smile only grew wider. If he could keep his court manners up around Joffrey, he could do it for anyone.

"No one's introduced you to the concept of accountability, I see," he said. Then he realized that Wolfram didn't seem like the kind to appreciate jokes at his own expense. "Forgive me. I didn't mean the coin as a bribe, only a gift." Petyr's brain processed the facts: this Wolfram was a knight, and Hufflepuff was supposed to be the House of loyalty. Perhaps he should try a different tack. "Who is this Maou you're betrothed to?"

Thread 9

dungbombsrule August 10 2007, 18:09:20 UTC

"Well, George and Fred just sounds completely off. It has to do with the length of names. George takes a bit longer to say than Fred, and everyone knows that it sounds better when the shorter name comes first. If you were introducing Dan and Musidora, you wouldn't say Musidora and Dan. It comes as a bit of a let down." Ron paused, sounding out 'George and Fred'. "Besides, Fred and George sounds like names. To me, if you switch it around, George and Fred sounds like verbs. The chicken's been 'George and Fred'." The redhead shrugged, as he couldn't really figure out why that was, either. If that was some giant prank the twins cast on Ron's subconscious, it was a pretty extreme one for minimal pay-off.

"And I'm pretty sure my Dad doesn't go by 'Lord of the Burrow'. He doesn't even wear a hat most the time."

petyr_baelish August 10 2007, 19:30:17 UTC

((XD!))

For a long time, Petyr was speechless.

"I...see," he finally managed. "Tell me, by any chance, do you have any Stark blood in you? Your cleverness gave you away."

Petyr could have sworn that the Ministry official he'd bribed had told him the Weasleys were an ancient magical family. He really needed better sources. "So your father isn't a lord? Are you smallfolk, then, or is your family descended from a lesser branch of House Weasley?"

dungbombsrule August 10 2007, 20:02:22 UTC

"Yeah, yeah, I look like a bird, ha ha ha." Ron rolled his eyes. "I know this is still a school, but most the people here are actually pretty old and might not be in for a walk down the schoolyard, again. And why you would insult some stranger like that, I don't know."

The redhead barked out a small laugh, and shook his head. "Boy. You know, for someone who thinks I'm like a stork, you're the one who's got branches on the brain. Weasleys are too busy (and smart) for all that Pureblood, family hierarchy bull. We think more about the House of Gryffindor. Well, now I'm in the Slytherin House, but you know what I mean, right?"

Then Ron remembered his 'smallfolk' comment. He frowned and looked down, and then back up at Petyr's face. "Oi!"

petyr_baelish August 11 2007, 05:08:33 UTC

"Oh, you should try insulting strangers sometimes," said Petyr. "It's so entertaining. Besides, where did you get the idea that I meant it as an insult? After all, maybe the Starks are so uncommonly...ha ha...so uncommonly clever that it would be a...ha ha, I can't breathe...a compliment to...oh, gods, ha ha ha, I can't go on!"

Thirty seconds later, after Littlefinger had recovered from his laughing fit, he reflected on what the boy had told him. Branches on the brain. People had called Littlefinger many things throughout his life, most of them negative, but "stupid" wasn't one of them. "Believe me, I won't argue with you about bloodlines. I could have married the love of my life if I were Lord of Winterfell instead of Lord of Sheep Shit and Rocks. When a great man is born, it matters not to what family, and those who grow complacent in their station deserve to have it ripped away from them by someone smarter ( ... )

Thread 9

runaway_stark August 10 2007, 18:31:05 UTC

((*DEAD*))

Well, some of this sounded slightly familiar, in that she recognized place names and titles. He even looked vaguely familiar--she had probably seen him around King's Landing a time or two in the past. And Arya was only familiar with one Catelyn--her mother. "Who are you, and why are you talking about my mother?" The thought that there could have been a world of other Catelyns in Westeros never entered her mind.

petyr_baelish August 10 2007, 19:53:26 UTC

Petyr examined the scruffy girl's face and could barely contain his glee. It was Catelyn's daughter. The other one.

He briefly considered fondling her. Then he realized that she looked more like Eddard than like Catelyn. He felt a pang of disappointment.

"Arya of House Stark? I'm Petyr Baelish, former Master of the Coin under King Robert and King Joffrey," he said, crouching down to her height and extending a hand to her. "Your mother was an old, old friend of mine. She was more than that, actually, but that's not for the ears of a child."

Interesting. Very interesting. His brain was racing to work out the implications of finding the younger Stark daughter. If it would ever be in his best interests to invalidate the Bolton bastard's claim to Winterfell, he could produce this girl and prove his Stark bride an impostor.

And if it wouldn't be in his best interests...well, there were always those convenient crossbow quarrels to get rid of the evidence. After all, it wasn't as if the girl looked anything like Catelyn.

(( ( ... )

runaway_stark August 10 2007, 23:41:32 UTC

She backed off, hand dropping to her side for Needle. She wasn't the trusting sort anymore, and probably wouldn't have trusted him to begin with--he was too cheerful. Slimy, even. And he had worked for Joffrey. It was the gravest black mark against him in her eyes. "My lady mother loves my father," she pointed out, voice low and as intimidating as a girl of eleven (or was it twelve now? She couldn't remember) could make it.

petyr_baelish August 12 2007, 06:59:28 UTC

((Sorry for the late reply; I didn't have access to a computer today. Also, I'm reposting this because I screwed up the formatting.))

Petyr's smile disappeared. Arya's words had struck the most (and possibly only) vulnerable part of him.

"Really," he said, a sharp edge in his voice. "Love. You are aware that their fathers arranged the match for political purposes, right? And that your mother would have just as cheerfully married Brandon Stark if Aerys hadn't got to him first? And I suppose you don't think the bastard your lord father sired rather gives the lie to your silly fantasy that their marriage was a glorious romance?" As the hurt from his wounded pride subsided, he realized something about Arya's comment had been off. "Why are you using present tense? Your father is dead."

Thread 5

castleinthesnow August 10 2007, 20:00:24 UTC

....oh, of course Lord Petyr would show up. With a living husband, dead and walking family members, a younger sister, and an older half-brother all wandering around, what else could happen? Not that Sansa wasn't fond of Petyr - she was! He just... worried her, sometimes. She briefly revisited the idea of simply going mad, then shook her head slightly and approached her most recent rescuer. "My lord?"

petyr_baelish August 10 2007, 20:23:19 UTC

At the sight of the lovely girl he'd taken under his wing--with her delicate features, blue eyes, and auburn hair so much like Catelyn's--Petyr felt tingly happy. "Alayne," he said. "I thought you were back in the Eyrie! What are you doing here?"

castleinthesnow August 10 2007, 20:28:07 UTC

"I'm Sansa here." There was no point to Alayne, with all her family around to give the lie to it. "I've been here for months, my lord. What are you doing here?"

petyr_baelish August 11 2007, 05:51:55 UTC

"Careful, Alayne, you don't know who might be listening," whispered Petyr. "If I could find this place, one of Cersei's or Varys's catspaws might, also--and you wouldn't want them to realize that Sansa Stark is here, would you?"

Even as he said it, though, he knew that wasn't the real reason hearing her refer to herself as Sansa displeased him. He wanted her as Alayne. Alayne was what he might have named his own daughter. Alayne lived cloistered in the Eyrie, hidden away from all eyes but his and with his mark indelibly printed on her soul. Everyone knew Sansa, but Alayne was his alone.

"Weren't you paying attention before? I'm here to learn magic--at least, that's what you'll tell everyone who asks." He gave her the wink he always used when he wanted her to think he was sharing his plans. Then in her ear, he whispered, "Have you seen your mother around?"

lilypotter60 August 10 2007, 21:19:27 UTC

((*has just died*))

Hmmm... This man was...distasteful. "Oh, you'd fit right in with some of the pureblooded families," she said with a smile that could cut. Not a compliment - not in Lily's book, at least. "And I don't know anyone who fits that description in the Order, no." Thank Merlin for small favours. (And little did she know...)

"So, your bribes are kind of rubbish. Got anything better than betrayal?"

petyr_baelish August 11 2007, 06:32:19 UTC

Judging from the scorn in this woman's voice, his little slips of the tongue during the Sorting had counted against him. It was a shame to have just arrived at Hogwarts and already be off to a bad start. But then again, hadn't he overcome an equally bad start in his own life? (Funny that she thought he'd fit best with the purebloods when his blood had been the greatest obstacle in his path back in Westeros.) He took a moment to inwardly shed an emo tear.

"Fine," he said. "What about the ten thousand dragons, the position as Keeper of the Gates of the Moon, and the betrothal...without the throat slitting? Actually, on second thought, no." Those were powerful bargaining chips that he couldn't afford to give away lightly. "I have a giant sack of money with me. Name your price."

lilypotter60 August 12 2007, 00:07:01 UTC

Wait, wait. Dragons? Now, Lily was a Witch, and, as such, knew that dragons were not pets. But this bloke seemed to be giving away thousands of them without blinking. Perhaps his dragons were different than the ones she knew?

Suddenly her head was filled with the picture of delivering her mail via dragon. Never mind she already had a duck for such purposes. "A dragon?" she asked, head tipping to the side in consideration. "Is it hard to train? I think I'd name it Mona. How big is it?"

Hell, she'd vote the wanker to Slytherin for a dragon!

petyr_baelish August 12 2007, 07:49:52 UTC

Petyr sighed. Would every single person at Hogwarts make the same mistake whenever he mentioned dragons? He made a mental note to refer to them as coins in front of those he'd try to bribe next time; otherwise, he'd raise their expectations and make them reluctant to settle for mere gold.

"I've never found gold dragons hard to train--although the late King Robert would say otherwise--and they're small enough to fit in the palm of a hand." He reached into his purse and handed a dragon to the woman (who was redheaded, he was pleased to note, and rather pretty, if lacking Catelyn's stately reserve). "Sorry to disappoint you, but dragons are a kind of currency where I'm from. But I know of three live dragons; should I ever capture them, you have my word that you can keep one for yourself and name it whatever you wish." It was a lie, of course, but if Petyr ever got his hands on the three live dragons, there would be nothing she could do about it.