Jim Halpert, The Office (US)

[fathalpert]

((Okayed by Michael and Dwight-muns! Also, in case it's not clear, the italics are the written application itself, the rest is just... color commentary. ;) Also also, here be spoilers through S3 -- you have been warned!))

Comments

[ian_ma1co1m]

What on Earth have you got against Benihana?

[fathalpert]

Jim stared at the man for a half a moment, then glanced off to the side and grinned uncertainly. "Well, that's, uh..." Looking back to Ian, he ran a hand through his hair. "That's kind of a long story, actually. We... had a sort of a company lunch there, once..."

[ian_ma1co1m]

Yes, yes? I'm listening.

*makes a rolling 'go ahead' motion with his hands'

[fathalpert]

Again, the sidelong glance. "...Sure. Okay. We went there to cheer my boss up after he'd broken up with his girlfriend, actually. And, uh..." He pursed his lips and nodded, rocking back on his heels, and sighed. "He and my coworker Andy got drunk and picked up a couple of waitresses. And then they... couldn't tell them apart. You know, which one was which? So..." He winced and made a little clucking noise, tilting his hand back and forth. "Bad associations, you know."

[wobblingmolly]

Molly had just gotten through squibbing Dwight, and would have probably done the same to Jim, just on principle, but then she hesitated, noting the glare Dwight was giving him.

"Hello, dear," she said, rifling through the office supplies. "Oh, this looks interesting." She held up a heavy-duty stapler. "May I take this? My husband loves collecting Muggle things, and I'm sure he'll think this is a wonderful Valentine's day present."

[fathalpert]

"That's... very romantic." Jim's lips quirked oddly, but he quickly covered it and gestured grandly to the stapler. "It's all yours. Enjoy." The stapler said 'DWIGHT K. SCHRUTE' along the top; Jim didn't seem to notice.

[wobblingmolly]

Molly picked up the stapler and smiled. "Oh yes, it's terribly romantic," she said with more than a small trace of sarcasm. "But my dear husband got me batteries for Christmas, so we're even. In any event, thank you, and I'm sure my husband will find this endlessly fascinating. Now then... Do you have any objections to being voted into Gryffindor?"

[fathalpert]

Gryffindor wasn't Slytherin, and that made it fine by Jim. "Gryffindor sounds great," he replied with a relieved grin. So far, his 'stay away from Michael and Dwight' plan was working wonderfully.

[violet_veracity]

Violet read the application with a smile. "Is working in an office really that awful?" she asked finally. "Because my sister hated being a secretary, but it may have been different for her since she was an infant at the time."

[fathalpert]

"Did... you say infant?" Jim was prepared for some pretty weird stuff to go down at this place, but still, that was pretty weird. He leaned in, wondering if he'd misheard her, his brow furrowing.

[violet_veracity]

Violet waved a hand in what she hoped was a nonchalant way. She realized too late that talking about breaking child labor laws was probably not the best way to introduce oneself. "It was...another, more horrible school," she replied vaguely. "She was too young to actually attend classes, so the vice principal made her his secretary. It was...weird." Weird was the least of it, but it was complicated.

[fathalpert]

Was she joking? Jim laughed hesitantly. "That's pretty weird, yeah. Although I bet my friend Pam would just love to hear about that -- she's a secretary, too. Or, sorry, receptionist."

[every_daae]

*brightly* Oh, bonjour, and- *looks at the box* um... did you take that box from the farming gentleman who irons his, um, his boxers? *blushes at the mention of underwear, like the ingenue she is*

[fathalpert]

Irons his boxers? There was no one else she could have been talking about (that actually wasn't true, but Jim didn't know Constable Fraser). Still, he feigned innocence. "Why, did he say something?"

[every_daae]

He said on his application that you took them. He seemed rather upset about it, too.

[fathalpert]

"Ooh, right..." Wincing, Jim sucked in a breath and nodded. "The thing is, Dwight's... kind of paranoid. Probably from all the..." He shook his head and patted the box. "Well, anyway. These are my office supplies, actually."

[squinty_tempe]

Brennan read the application twice, not entirely sure what to make of this applicant. On the one hand, he didn't seem so bad. Polite, even, which certainly wasn't common amongst office workers. Actually, they tended to get really grouchy. So polite! That was a plus. The Hufflepuff answer, however. That was quite worrisome.

"You... put things in Jell-O?" she asked slowly, as if she had read the words wrong. "I imagine that would be rather..." She paused a beat... two beats. "...Sticky."

[fathalpert]

"It was, at first," he admitted. "I've kind of gotten the hang of it now. The secret is to use the plastic silverware in the kitchen -- that makes it much easier. And," he added, quite seriously, "as everyone knows, the best way to get rid of it is to eat it off."