Jayne had figured out pretty quickly that there wasn't much market for smuggling or shootin' stuff around these parts. But a man had to make a living somehow, and he figured Shepherd Book had a pretty cushy job. So with that in mind, he'd sent a letter off to someplace called
The Universal Life Church and gotten himself ordained as a minister.
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If you truly do offer free spiritual advice, I have need of some. I've committed a fairly major sin, the result of which has me a bit confused. I would appreciate the chance to talk at your earliest convenience.
Regards,
Tyrion Lannister
Slytherin
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Sure thing. Where do you wanna meet?
Oh and if the sin involved killin someone, lemme know if you want me to conduct the funeral. I charge by the hour.
- Rev. Jayne
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Tyrion was uncharacteristically nervous. "So... how does this work?" he wanted to know. "Do I just... confess or what?"
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"I dunno, just say whatever you want," he said generously. "I won't tell nobody."
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((insane))
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*Asking random passerby for directions Han manages to meander his way through the admittedly quite confusing halls of the castle, eventually ending outside the door he thinks is correct. Poking his head inside he spots Jayne and grins, entering the room* "A Reverend? How'd you pull that off?"
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He did reckon, however, that he could use some advice. Specifically love advice. And anyway, from what he had seen so far, he liked Jayne and enjoyed his company. So, he decided to go seek him out.
He hoped, however, that Jayne's newfound religion didn't prevent him from throwing back a shot or two, because that was exactly what Sirius was planning on doing.
He walked around the school, looking for Jayne. Finally, he spotted him in an empty classroom.
"Hey, mate," he said as he entered the room. "Hadn't pegged you for the religious type, but congratulations all the same. So...." He lowered his voice. "You're giving advice out on...
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He paused. "Do you think it would hurt to be violated anally?" His voice was more tentative. "Couldn't I just use Vaseline or something to alleviate the pain?"
It was best to know all the facts before plunging right in (or being plunged right into)!
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