Application for Molly Weasley, the Harry Potter series
OOC: I did contact the mods about apping Molly, and I tried to email all the HP muns. If this ap is a complete shock to anyone concerned, I'm sorry I missed you and will bake you Internet cookies as a consiliatory gesture.
IC:
Molly Weasley chooses to make a favorable impression on all prospective applicants
by storming into the great Hall, wand out, a note clenched tightly in her hand.
"Hello?" she shouts. "Minerva? Remus? Anybody? Severus? Someone get over here right
now and explain this."
She glances disdainfully at the note, reading it aloud in a tense voice.
"Dear Mrs. Weasley,
You might like to know that some interesting things are going on at Hogwarts and
that your children have been up to some wacky hijinks since last you saw them.
Sincerely,
A Friend."
She crumples the note. "Where *are* my children?" she asks the room in general. "If
I don't see them or hear a damned good excuse, I'm going to start throwing hexes,
see if I don't."
Then she spots the application, reads it over and sits down heavily in a chair. "My.
This certainly wasn't part of the admission process *I* remember from my days at
Hogwarts."
While she waits for someone to arrive upon whom she can vent her considerable spleen,
she fills the application out.
1. What is your favorite cheese? Why is it your favorite?
I make my own cheese actually. The charm isn't difficult. My mother taught it to me, and her mother taught her. I think it's delicious. And my children have never complained.
2. Who would you kill first, Barney or Carrottop?
I've never met a wizard by either of those names, and in any event, killing is wrong.
3. What time is it where you are?
Since right now I'm here, it's just after half past two in the bloody morning. Which shows you how concerned I am by all this as it's far past my bedtime.
4. If you were Albus Dumbledore returned from the dead, which member of the Order
of the Phoenix would you sexually harass? How would you harass them? If you are Albus
Dumbledore, please answer as if you were Sirius Black.
First of all, Albus Dumbledore would never sexually harass anyone. His brother, Aberforth, well, he was always a bit... barmy. As for myself, I'm a happily married woman, and I would never ever consider being unfaithful to Arthur, even if he is a bit mad about all those Muggle contraptions he collects. That being said, Kingsley Shacklebolt
is quite a good-looking bloke... Hey, I'm married, not dead.
5. If you are pushing to be in:
A. Slytherin - please state the clever, witty name of the bar in which you bartend, in the dark.
Hmmph! I'm sure I wouldn't know about such things. The Three Broomsticks?
B. Gryffindor - Debate whether Harry should ultimately end up married to Fred or George. Use examples from a variety of world mythologies to bolster your argument.
WHAT? Is there something my own children haven't told me? You know, it would have been a shock, but I would have adjusted. Why couldn't they have just told me they were interested in Harry? Oh, I should have seen it coming. I'm their mother after all. I gave birth to them. I even changed their nappies! How could I have failed so terribly that they can't even talk to me about these things? I suppose they told Arthur, and he probably thought I didn't need to worry. But how could I not worry? My own sons! Hiding such a thing from me all this time! Oh dear, I wonder if Ginny knows. She'll be heartbroken.
C. Ravenclaw - You guys are supposed to be smart. Explain why my desk is inundated with paperwork at all times, even though I’m constantly disposing of it.
Don't they teach basic decluttering charms at Hogwarts anymore? *waves her wand, and the mass of papers on the desk neaten themselves* There, that's better.
D. Hufflepuff - Prove you are not useless.
I raised seven children. Even if two of them can't speak to their own mother about the fact that they prefer men... Well, maybe I *am* useless as a mother. *sniffle*
6. Offer a bribe to the members of this community so that they will not squib you.
Items used in bribery do not necessarily have to belong to the person offering the bribe.
Do not threaten us rather than offering a bribe. A threat indicates you either don't
really want to be here, or don't have enough sense to answer the question properly.
The hat will automatically squib you, regardless of other votes, if you do.
I could knit you a sweater. I make them for my children every year, and they love them. I'm also a good cook. You could come 'round to the Burrow and I'll put some meat on your bones. And... oh, I have this collection of Muggle artifacts Arthur brought home. *She flips out her wand and a screwdriver, a handful of still wrapped condoms, a disposable camera with one picture left, some batteries, a plush Ebola virus, and a box of altoids appear on a small table beside her.
"I have read thehogwarts_hocus faq, and understand it is a crazy, cracktastic sorting community and RPG. MW
I have read the hogwarts_hocus rules and agree to abide by each and every one of them. MW.
I agree to be a good sport and not get my knickers in a bunch. MW
One day, marmalade will rule the world.MW
IC:
Molly Weasley chooses to make a favorable impression on all prospective applicants
by storming into the great Hall, wand out, a note clenched tightly in her hand.
"Hello?" she shouts. "Minerva? Remus? Anybody? Severus? Someone get over here right
now and explain this."
She glances disdainfully at the note, reading it aloud in a tense voice.
"Dear Mrs. Weasley,
You might like to know that some interesting things are going on at Hogwarts and
that your children have been up to some wacky hijinks since last you saw them.
Sincerely,
A Friend."
She crumples the note. "Where *are* my children?" she asks the room in general. "If
I don't see them or hear a damned good excuse, I'm going to start throwing hexes,
see if I don't."
Then she spots the application, reads it over and sits down heavily in a chair. "My.
This certainly wasn't part of the admission process *I* remember from my days at
Hogwarts."
While she waits for someone to arrive upon whom she can vent her considerable spleen,
she fills the application out.
1. What is your favorite cheese? Why is it your favorite?
I make my own cheese actually. The charm isn't difficult. My mother taught it to me, and her mother taught her. I think it's delicious. And my children have never complained.
2. Who would you kill first, Barney or Carrottop?
I've never met a wizard by either of those names, and in any event, killing is wrong.
3. What time is it where you are?
Since right now I'm here, it's just after half past two in the bloody morning. Which shows you how concerned I am by all this as it's far past my bedtime.
4. If you were Albus Dumbledore returned from the dead, which member of the Order
of the Phoenix would you sexually harass? How would you harass them? If you are Albus
Dumbledore, please answer as if you were Sirius Black.
First of all, Albus Dumbledore would never sexually harass anyone. His brother, Aberforth, well, he was always a bit... barmy. As for myself, I'm a happily married woman, and I would never ever consider being unfaithful to Arthur, even if he is a bit mad about all those Muggle contraptions he collects. That being said, Kingsley Shacklebolt
is quite a good-looking bloke... Hey, I'm married, not dead.
5. If you are pushing to be in:
A. Slytherin - please state the clever, witty name of the bar in which you bartend, in the dark.
Hmmph! I'm sure I wouldn't know about such things. The Three Broomsticks?
B. Gryffindor - Debate whether Harry should ultimately end up married to Fred or George. Use examples from a variety of world mythologies to bolster your argument.
WHAT? Is there something my own children haven't told me? You know, it would have been a shock, but I would have adjusted. Why couldn't they have just told me they were interested in Harry? Oh, I should have seen it coming. I'm their mother after all. I gave birth to them. I even changed their nappies! How could I have failed so terribly that they can't even talk to me about these things? I suppose they told Arthur, and he probably thought I didn't need to worry. But how could I not worry? My own sons! Hiding such a thing from me all this time! Oh dear, I wonder if Ginny knows. She'll be heartbroken.
C. Ravenclaw - You guys are supposed to be smart. Explain why my desk is inundated with paperwork at all times, even though I’m constantly disposing of it.
Don't they teach basic decluttering charms at Hogwarts anymore? *waves her wand, and the mass of papers on the desk neaten themselves* There, that's better.
D. Hufflepuff - Prove you are not useless.
I raised seven children. Even if two of them can't speak to their own mother about the fact that they prefer men... Well, maybe I *am* useless as a mother. *sniffle*
6. Offer a bribe to the members of this community so that they will not squib you.
Items used in bribery do not necessarily have to belong to the person offering the bribe.
Do not threaten us rather than offering a bribe. A threat indicates you either don't
really want to be here, or don't have enough sense to answer the question properly.
The hat will automatically squib you, regardless of other votes, if you do.
I could knit you a sweater. I make them for my children every year, and they love them. I'm also a good cook. You could come 'round to the Burrow and I'll put some meat on your bones. And... oh, I have this collection of Muggle artifacts Arthur brought home. *She flips out her wand and a screwdriver, a handful of still wrapped condoms, a disposable camera with one picture left, some batteries, a plush Ebola virus, and a box of altoids appear on a small table beside her.
"I have read thehogwarts_hocus faq, and understand it is a crazy, cracktastic sorting community and RPG. MW
I have read the hogwarts_hocus rules and agree to abide by each and every one of them. MW.
I agree to be a good sport and not get my knickers in a bunch. MW
One day, marmalade will rule the world.MW