Michael Kelso - That 70's show
Life is a funny thing. One minute, you're loading a bunch of your friends star wars toys into a crate, to ring them out to your car, to bring them to some kid who said he'd give you a 20 for them.Next thing you know you're...Not.
For most people this might have been disturbing, being hurdled through space and time. but for Michael Kelso it was "sweet". He was used to being confused, after all.
Kelso set down the crate of toys, and found his way over to the application. Luckily, he was without a pen, and chose to answer out loud, speaking directly to the paper. I say luckily because Kelso's skills in penmanship and spelling were...well. Lets just say 'questionable at best'.
1. What is your favorite cheese? Why is it your favorite?
"Is this about Todd? Because I totally could have kicked his ass if I hadn't had a tonsil..ectim...itri...osis earlier that day."
"Oh, and if this isn't about Todd, Gouda. Hehehe. cause its so goud...a. GET IT? GET IT?"
2. Who would you kill first, Barney or Carrottop?
"Woah, woah, woah. First of all, I don't know who either of these guys are, and second of all, which one of them is going to give me a ride to the mall later, because not that one."
3. What time is it where you are?
"May. Wait, Time? Yeah, May."
4. If you were Albus Dumbledore returned from the dead, which member of the Order of the Phoenix would you sexually harass? How would you harass them? If you are Albus Dumbledore, please answer as if you were Sirius Black.
"I would never sexually harass anyone but my own beautiful girlfriend Jackie Burkhart who is the only girl for me, because that would be cheating and I know now that cheating is wrong. Unless she isn't here, in which case, Farrah Fawcett."
5. If you are pushing to be in:
A. Slytherin - please state the clever, witty name of the bar in which you bartend, in the dark.
"Okay. Okay. I've got one. Kelso's."
B. Gryffindor - Debate whether Harry should ultimately end up married to Fred or George. Use examples from a variety of world mythologies to bolster your argument.
"Whichever one is a girl. Unless its George Lucas. In which case him cause he is SO RICH."
C. Ravenclaw - You guys are supposed to be smart. Explain why my desk is inundated with paperwork at all times, even though I’m constantly disposing of it.
"I have the same problem. No matter how many times I tell my teachers I don't need homework, cause I'm gonna get by on my looks, they keep giving it to me anyway.Its like they're jealous of my boyish charm and stunningly well defined abs. I tell you sometimes this body is a curse."
D. Hufflepuff - Prove you are not useless.
"Uh....Well I make people smarter. People are always telling me that. They say just standin around having a conversation with me makes them realize how smart they really are. I think It might be some kind of psychic ability on my part. Its like I just smarterize them."
6. Offer a bribe to the members of this community so that they will not squib you. Items used in bribery do not necessarily have to belong to the person offering the bribe. Do not threaten us rather than offering a bribe. A threat indicates you either don't really want to be here, or don't have enough sense to answer the question properly. The hat will automatically squib you, regardless of other votes, if you do.
"Well I've got this box full of Eric's toys. I mean...They're not Eri..Yeah, no, they're Eric's."
"I have read the hogwarts_hocus faq, and understand it is a crazy, cracktastic sorting community and RPG. _____MK_______
I have read the hogwarts_hocus rules and agree to abide by each and every one of them. ____MK_______.
I agree to be a good sport and not get my knickers in a bunch. ______MK_____.
One day, marmalade will rule the world. ______MK_______"
For most people this might have been disturbing, being hurdled through space and time. but for Michael Kelso it was "sweet". He was used to being confused, after all.
Kelso set down the crate of toys, and found his way over to the application. Luckily, he was without a pen, and chose to answer out loud, speaking directly to the paper. I say luckily because Kelso's skills in penmanship and spelling were...well. Lets just say 'questionable at best'.
1. What is your favorite cheese? Why is it your favorite?
"Is this about Todd? Because I totally could have kicked his ass if I hadn't had a tonsil..ectim...itri...osis earlier that day."
"Oh, and if this isn't about Todd, Gouda. Hehehe. cause its so goud...a. GET IT? GET IT?"
2. Who would you kill first, Barney or Carrottop?
"Woah, woah, woah. First of all, I don't know who either of these guys are, and second of all, which one of them is going to give me a ride to the mall later, because not that one."
3. What time is it where you are?
"May. Wait, Time? Yeah, May."
4. If you were Albus Dumbledore returned from the dead, which member of the Order of the Phoenix would you sexually harass? How would you harass them? If you are Albus Dumbledore, please answer as if you were Sirius Black.
"I would never sexually harass anyone but my own beautiful girlfriend Jackie Burkhart who is the only girl for me, because that would be cheating and I know now that cheating is wrong. Unless she isn't here, in which case, Farrah Fawcett."
5. If you are pushing to be in:
A. Slytherin - please state the clever, witty name of the bar in which you bartend, in the dark.
"Okay. Okay. I've got one. Kelso's."
B. Gryffindor - Debate whether Harry should ultimately end up married to Fred or George. Use examples from a variety of world mythologies to bolster your argument.
"Whichever one is a girl. Unless its George Lucas. In which case him cause he is SO RICH."
C. Ravenclaw - You guys are supposed to be smart. Explain why my desk is inundated with paperwork at all times, even though I’m constantly disposing of it.
"I have the same problem. No matter how many times I tell my teachers I don't need homework, cause I'm gonna get by on my looks, they keep giving it to me anyway.Its like they're jealous of my boyish charm and stunningly well defined abs. I tell you sometimes this body is a curse."
D. Hufflepuff - Prove you are not useless.
"Uh....Well I make people smarter. People are always telling me that. They say just standin around having a conversation with me makes them realize how smart they really are. I think It might be some kind of psychic ability on my part. Its like I just smarterize them."
6. Offer a bribe to the members of this community so that they will not squib you. Items used in bribery do not necessarily have to belong to the person offering the bribe. Do not threaten us rather than offering a bribe. A threat indicates you either don't really want to be here, or don't have enough sense to answer the question properly. The hat will automatically squib you, regardless of other votes, if you do.
"Well I've got this box full of Eric's toys. I mean...They're not Eri..Yeah, no, they're Eric's."
"I have read the hogwarts_hocus faq, and understand it is a crazy, cracktastic sorting community and RPG. _____MK_______
I have read the hogwarts_hocus rules and agree to abide by each and every one of them. ____MK_______.
I agree to be a good sport and not get my knickers in a bunch. ______MK_____.
One day, marmalade will rule the world. ______MK_______"