The Tolkien Confessional

[hiyacynth]

Tolkien Hell. I don't know about anyone else, but I'm quite sure it exists and that I'm headed there. How do I know this? Well I'll tell you...

A while back, toward the end of Long Dark before the TTT EE's release--I discovered the Tolkien-sinners' version of saying penance. It came out of one of my favorite time killers, which is to go out to

Comments

My Sins

[star3ry]

Some of these are just too funny. I feel complied to add my own...

Forgive me professor, for I have also sinned, like so many others.

After Gollum bites off Frodo’s finger, the blood squirts straight out for a second, and all I can think of is that scene from Monty Python and the Holy Grail with the bleeding knight.

Every time we get a close up of Aragon and his greasy hair, all I want to do is run a brush though it and use a little shampoo. And then, when they are riding to the Black Gate, I wonder how he managed to grow a little more scruff in that short time.

After Frodo escapes Shelob, and Gollum falls over the edge, the person next to me gasped and went, "I can't believe they just killed him off like that." I snorted and mumbled, "You didn't read the book, did youI wonder why Legolas has the force and can sense that Pippin has taken the palantir, and Aragon cannot

Re: My Sins

[hiyacynth]

Yay! More sinners have joined our toasty little party!

Sins against Tolkein in a quiet theatre filled with a thousand hard-core fans:

I gave this really loud snorting laugh during TTT when Elrond gives Arwen the big cheery pep talk, ending with "But YOU..."

And last year, on TTT opening day, when everyone's off on their hike to Helm's Deep, and Aragorn comes back from Flashback Land to answer Eowyn's question, "She is taking a ship to the Undying Lands," I said (too loudly) to my friend, "So, you're single then?"

Re: This is getting ridiculous

[hiyacynth]

Oooh, that's a good one! Speaking of sins against Frodo: Saturday I discovered that I REALLY should not close my eyes during the scene where Frodo's struggling to get up the stairs and Gollum reaches to help him... If you lose the visual, it sounds waaaay too much like Frodo's having a very different kind of burden lifted.

Excuse me. I have to go pray for my soul now.

[hiyacynth]

I think you have certainly identified one of the rings of Tolkein Hell. Must remember to be very good from now on.

Yeah, that'll work.

[fyrdrakken]

Forgive me Professor, for I have sinned:

* Although I completely missed the obvious PotC connection for the Army of the Dead, on my very first viewing of Frodo lurching across Mordor I thought to myself that he looked like he'd picked up a bit of a "Captain Jack" walk.

* On my home viewings of TTT, I missed Legolas' infamous flying mount about a dozen times -- even after rewinding the DVD to check for it again on some occasions -- because I kept zoning out. Whenever the elf was onscreen, my attention wandered.

* If I could have, I would have smacked Sam repeatedly for his ill-timed weeping over Rosie outside Mount Doom.

[hiyacynth]

Oh, yeah, you're doomed.

I really really wanted Aragorn's speech to include an official change to the map: Mount Doom should henceforth be known as Mount Happy.

[fyrdrakken]

Late getting back to this -- I was kind of thrown by the "Mount Happy" bit because A) why? and B) I don't think the mountain was even there any more after Mordor sort of collapsed into the earth. (Well, except that the mayhem had kind of quit by the time Gandalf arrived with the eagles, so perhaps it still stood after all.)

[hiyacynth]

You're probably right about Mt. Doom not exsisting at all after the whole massive blow up thing, but mainly I was tired of hearing Lord Elrond being all "firey chasm of Mount Doom" and thought it would lighten things up if they all talked about picnicing on Mount Happy instead. Just being silly.

[onieros]

I found you by proxy through a bunch of people and all i have to say is:

Forgive me profesor, for I have sinned:

-I too, go to thelordoftherings.net, except I refresh just to hear viggo.

-Every single time i see two towers, in the scene with the sword and eowyn and aragorn i think of the VSD conversation:
"You are good with pointy things"
"Yes, my only fear is dying a virgin!"

-I've though that Sam being "His sam" is just a little too close for comfort.

- In the flashback scene from two towers, I have been guilty of wishing i was arwen,leaning over viggo in the bed at rivendell.

- Numerous times during ROTK, I have thought the scene where sam and frodo put on the orc armor is scarily like the "Aren't you a little short for a storm trooper?" thing from star wars.

-Guilty of blatantly making fun of legolas for being captian obvious, when he's really a very brilliantly written character.

Hopefully, spending eternity in tolkien hell won't be so bad..can i have an aragorn to stay with me?

[hiyacynth]

... I have thought the scene where sam and frodo put on the orc armor is scarily like the "Aren't you a little short for a storm trooper?" thing from star wars.

Oh wow, there's one I totally missed--very good!

And, re: Aragorn and Arwen... Anybody else notice that Arwen is TOTALLY not wearing any underthings of any kind in that scene? You can see her legs all the way up to her butt. Thus proving my post-coital theory (confirmed also by the fact that their little balcony appears to actually be a gazeebo--there's forest all around).

Crap. I'd just done a really Good Tolkein Deed today and washed myself clean of all this, but I'm already on Deadly Sin number 3 on my new list.