-
modivaton o_o
ughh feel so stuck ( Read more... ) -
Eatingdisorder test
Eatingdisorder test I scored a 54:) this is surprisingly accurate.... -
Morning weigh in
Binges yesterday on nachos.... Before the binge I weighed 136.6 and thismorning after my coffee and my morning... Ahem... Drop off? I weighed 134.0!!! :) very pleased and motivated today... 4 pounds till my first goal weight :) I'm going for it this time... Thanksgiving will not stop me!!!!! Lol
Posted via LiveJournal app for iPhone.
-
slippery slope
so i have done some thinking...and i decided that if i let myself fall anymore off track from my true desires to be thin, not eat, not need food. to be envied (etc) that i might as well just die, because without these desires i am truly not myself sooo..... new routine, new safe foods, new attitude ( Read more... ) -
purged..again
i purged again today..2 time this week..once last week...total 3 in the past month or so ( Read more... ) -
10-10-11
it has been one year since my dad died, we were foreclosed on our house of 7 years..in a town i hated, didn't belong in ,i was lonely, outcast, missunderstood etc....i never belonged there....i didnt have many friends olny the people i went to high school with..not real friends ( Read more... ) -
it feels good to be back :)
it feels good for me to be back to my old ways, checking up on the communities and listening to my body, by not eating. ive been depressed lately i feel like i have reached a new level of depression i didnt even know existedi knew i had triggers for bouts of depression, but now its every damn day, my body hurts and its tired and my head is empty ( Read more... ) -
buddy up?
i REALLY need a support buddy..getting back into the swing of things..my life is preety unbalanced and so am i..its out of controll and what hapens when i lose controll of my life? i turn to MIA..so if anyone wants to be buddies i will be restricting probable 700 cal a day..gradually get to 500..stay there...then ride my bike or walk 3x a week 5 ( Read more... ) -
the fallout
i need to write ( Read more... ) -
episode
tonite i had an EPISODE at the dinner table, i was forced to eat pasta, red sauce, with meat, i chose a medium sised bowl and i dont know what the fuck happened to me....i ate it......and while eating it right in the middle in fact my mind starts running in circles fuck fuck fuck fuck.... panick....fuck fuck fucck...soo i finish it.. and decide it ( Read more... )