Tear me down: a public beta free-for-all

[high_flyer87]

I'm doing something a little different.  Something a little risky, and maybe a lot self-indulgent, but I thought I'd take my chances and see what happens.

I told myself I wasn't going to write any fic after The Void.  That thing drained me and sort of made me want to never write fic ever ever again.  But of course, when you tell yourself you're not

Comments

[high_flyer87]

Hey, you can take the brain. It's not doing me much good lately. It needs a good cleaning.

This probably wasn't the best story to do something like this, only because I don't have many Supernatural fans on my flist, but I figured people could critique it just on basic technical aspects. I just needed someone to attack me with a red pen. I need some direction.

[mizubyte]

IDK about the boys either, so I have no idea if its IC or not.

And its really short, so I really have very little to say...

Oh, well. I think you're lacking punctuation at the end of your dialogue in a few places?

“Yeah…Yeah, I know” he quickly looked away. etc.

*shrug* that's all I really noticed.

On the other hand... OMG this is awesome and I needs to do it. I just don't know how many people would play? I seem to have a quiet flist these days. :-(

[high_flyer87]

Soooooo yeah....the punctuation/dialogue thing is definitely something I need to work on XD I didn't even realize how bad it was, so thanks for pointing it out!

And this probably wasn't the best story to do this kind of "critique my shit" sort of thing, because almost none of my flist is into Supernatural *shrugs*. Oh well. I didn't feel like dragging out one of my old stories, and I have no desire to write Pinto at the moment.

You should totes do it! My flist is always quiet, but I thought I'd take a stab at it :)

[mizubyte]

I'm totally going to! I can't decide if I want to do a story I've written, but never posted, or write something new, or what. *ponders*

yeah my flist is quiet unless I write fic. which i keep putting off to do art. \o/

[high_flyer87]

Hmm. I say do one of your most recent stories. Just so the critiquing is up-to-date with your writing.

My flist is quiet no matter what I do XD Not sure what that means lol.

[sakura_no_mi]

OMG! You wrote J2

[high_flyer87]

You always make me feel so warm and fuzzy XD I love when you comment on my stuff!

Wow, so yeah, the punctuation/dialogue thing. I DID NOT KNOW HOW BAD THAT WAS! XD It's weird what you don't realize you do until it's pointed out to you. Ah well. Now I know that's something I need to work on. Thank you! :D

you're meticulous about maintaining tense

Haha! That's funny because on one of my very first stories I was criticized for NOT maintaining tense. I guess I've gotten better at it. That's good to hear though! When I think about it, I guess I do spend a lot of time repeating the lines in my head or saying them out loud to make sure the tense sounds correct. I'm sure I make some slip-ups though.

And about the physical gestures I write. I always feel like I get too tedious with them and that it distracts from the scene. I always find myself thinking, "Okay, the reader does not need to know every time he squints or runs his hand through his hair *backspace backspace backspace*" So it's good to hear that it's working...at

[sakura_no_mi]

Oh, no problem! I'm sorry I don't give concrit more often. Most of the time I'm content to just squee over fic, because the little "technical" stuff kind of gets melted away by all the boysex hotness?

BTW, physical gestures FTW! I wonder if everyone else is annoyed by it and we're the only ones who think it's the most wonderful thing in the world.

Pretty much off topic, but you have to read this article! You will LOL, for realsies:

http://therumpus.net/2009/07/how-to-write-sex-scenes-the-12-step-program/