It was time for Barney's biweekly suit maintenance- which is something he's done for years even when there were dozens of tiny foreign men just desperate for his patronage. He had a whole Rolodex devoted to his suits but this stuff he always liked to do by himself ( Read more... )

Meals at the Compound were nice and all, particularly considering he didn't have to do much to get them, but sometimes it all got a bit old. It got a little bit too crowded middle-school cafeteria for his liking. No time or room for a leisurely breakfast ( Read more... )

Valentine's Day was one of Barney's favorite holidays, if only for the hundreds of single women desperate to prove their self-worth by finding a man to care about them. Even if that man was Barney and 'caring about them' generally meant using a false identity to impress them, sleep with them, then leave the next morning. Also, he liked the little ( Read more... )

What up, my loyal Barnabitos. I know you have been lost in the wilderness of lame without my regular guidance, but it's been long days of nothing on our real-life Gilligan's island. Ginger's not even here in the slinky red sequined dress that led to the sexual awakening of thousands of pubescent boys and lipstick lesbians ( Read more... )

• Your name: Catie ( Read more... )