[TEAM MORALE LOG 005]

[herr_doktor906]

Other than my teammates being even harder to live with than usual due to the disturbing lack of battles, things around the fort had been rather boring up until today. I think my lab may have been an old dovecote-- I opened the window earlier and a flock of doves flew in, and now they won't leave. There's one in particular who seems to like me a lot

Comments

[adminamod]

Birds? Gathering inside of my fort? This is unacceptable. I am already lenient enough with your Soldier for keeping the rotting heads of his enemies outside of your base. Do you really think that I will allow you to keep dozens of diseased birds in an area which is supposed to be sterile?

Animal control will be arriving tomorrow. I will be present to personally oversee that every single one of these vermin are apprehended. Or possibly exterminated.

Also, your alcoholism seems like it is becoming a problem. If this in any way affects your performance I will have to have a long talk with you. Possibly about your imminent termination.

[herr_doktor906]

Pfft, as if I let ze filssy szings in here anyvay! *hic* And as for szis place being sterile, NOSZING IN SZIS FUCKING FORT IS STERILE!!!!

FLY AVAY ARCHIMEDES!!! BE FREE!!!

My alco...alc... alkaline.... I do not have a problem! YOU... You don't have one eiszer, actually. Except szat you hate birds and hang cameras in men's showers. Vat vere you hoping to film, exactly, huh? HAHAHA!!! *hic-urp!!*

*heave*

*collapse*

[adminamod]

I've neither confirmed nor denied that those security cameras belong to me. It will be up to you men to figure out who it belongs to. Although, because I am feeling mischievous, I will give you a hint as to who owns it. The lens is cracked thanks to your disgusting little animal. Thus, you will know whose camera it is if it is fixed within the next ten seconds. Here is a hint: it will still be broken. Congratulations. You are all being watched by a group of azure-tinted perverts.

…I shall have to speak to them about placing these cameras in your showers. It is rather disturbing they would want to see all of you in the nude. Considering. Anyway. That is a mental note to myself, mind, to speak with them. It does not concern you. I am only mentioning this because you are drunk and apparently not in control of your equilibrium, and you probably do not understand most of what I am saying anyway

[iamthescouthere]

Asinine?! What, are you suggesting that I got nine asses or something, lady?

[ka_bleway]

AY!! YE' 'AD BETTER NOT BE DRINKAN MUH SKRUMPEH WITHOOT MEH!

If ye want some...all ye gotta do is ask, lad! I made sure I brought plenty, an' I never drink alone anyway!....If I can 'elp it. Which I normally can't! Shit...I thought those birds wer albino bats or somethan'! Mighta shot at them at one point...

And laday....if ye wanna be lookin at me junk with yar cameras, well, thats fine by meh! I sometimes like to walk aroond in the buff anyways...Well, that is to say that sometimes, I end up loosin' me clothes when I 'ave a wee bit too much ta drink..dun know 'ow that keeps happenen', but it doos!

[crocketlauncher]

I don't know why the Administrator is so worried about some pigeons. Pigeons are a great wartime asset! You can tie little messages to their legs and then launch them out of tank guns at the enemy! FEATHERS EVERYWHERE. Makes it very hard for them to aim! Never could figure out why you had to write a message first, though. Seemed like a waste of paper.

[adminamod]

I am actually quite fond of pigeons. However, these creatures that are currently inhabiting your Medic's laboratory are doves. Doves are by far the most disgusting of all birds, because they symbolize something that I despise with all of what is left of my heart, and that is peace. Also, I do not like my mercenaries developing lethal diseases and/or hideous growths due to the unsanitary conditions of their medical facilities rather than for my general amusement. Although this may not alarm you as it does me- perhaps you prefer to wallow in your filth and the filth of other animals, as your upsetting practice of collecting enemy heads has proven.

[crocketlauncher]

Oh, right; doves. I see the problem. Well then, I agree with you entirely! Although I don't know what my heads have to do with it. They serve a very practical purpose! Oh, speaking of which; permission to bring one on the premises to serve as a traditional Christmas cactus topper?

[adminamod]

If you want another cut in your already meager paycheck, then by all means, permission granted.