That brought back memories. Harkening back to the simpler days of my youth isn't so bad every once in awhile.

I have this strange desire to start collecting rattles again.

[A small child can be seen hanging out with a bag full of rattles. He is very cute. Also, interact with him at the peril of your wallet.]

Children. Lovely.

I'll be at the coliseum where the little blighters can't bite at my shins.

[Private, somewhat hackable]

A tournament, eh? Quite the legacy you left me, lass. I'll see to it. What better way to honor your time here than with a steady stream of constant violence.

So, you've gone and left me on this godforsaken rock, have you lass?

Don't worry. Your money will be put to good use here.

...

WHAT DO YOU MEAN I CAN'T HAVE IT!?

*Bard is banging his head against the wall of the bank right now*

Dreaming about wine and women is all well and good, but I could do without the hangover the next morning.

Nice to see that it's warmed up. Now I can get this account settled.

[The following invoice has been sent to Harry]

Medical Expenses

Traveling: $10
Psychological Evalutation: $30
Counseling: $50
After-hours fee: $10
Gratuity: $20
Total Bill: $120

Say what you will about murder, but it does provide any number of opportunities to make an ample profit. Anyone else feeling particularly unsafe is welcome to hire the services of my rather specialized mercenaries. Depending on the case I may even be willing to provide a group discount ( Read more... )

What's WRONG with the women here!? I swear, no idea how these things are supposed to work at all. Honestly.

Awareness of morality has never been a strong suit of the Bard's. The lack of bathing probably doesn't help either.

Finally! Free from that wench!

I'm going to celebrate. Some beer and actually attractive women will do me some good.