.001 [Accidental Video...eventually]

[helpmejeeves]

[Voice]

--at ho? [sound of communicator falling down and shutting off.]

[Text]

e9oas0-50igf4eaw3l;k82=erwl;dkl;3r0;kxkop8954 0kdska0230-

[Video]

...blasted thing come with instructions.

[Lo! The whatsitsthingy is blinking! This might be a good sign. Or this might be like the half-dozen other times that he thought it was working when

Comments

[helpmejeeves]

[Text]

890dajk3290890&*(#@LJkdkasjkk sj eiu3578352fehdskl=-148

[If he pushes enough buttons, eventually he'll get to...]

[VIDEO!]

I was on my way to the Drone's Club, actually, in the metrop. Have you been? Good eggs there, all of them. It's a funny thing, because I've walked there hundreds upon hundreds of times, and only just today the road wasn't as it was supposed to be. I say the road wasn't as it was supposed to be because that surely makes more sense than me making a wrong turn on a path I've walked hundreds upon hundreds of times.

Then I met a strange fellow...or maybe it was just a voice...asking if I wanted to do some people a spot of help, and I said, "No thanks, I've got to meet Bingo for lunch," and he said, "Well, that's not very preux is it?" or words to that effect, and I said, "You're right, dash it all," and he said, "And you get to ask for a wish to be granted," and I said, "What, like a genie?" and he said, "Right-o! But two less," and I said--

[This will keep going unless you interrupt him.]

[helpmejeeves]

Oh. Right. Yes.

[And Brax gets video of Bertie staring with furrowed brow at the communicator for many long seconds before he finally utters,]

Am I looking for anything in particular?

Video

[mrs_persson]

[Yes, Una knows her Wodehouse. MM is a big fan, after all. Oh god, is this who she thinks this is? What was the Admiral thinking? He's going to be eaten alive!]

Er. Good afternoon, Mr Wooster.

Video

[helpmejeeves]

[You know him! He has forgotten that he said his last name.]

Good afternoon, Miss...

Er...excuse me, Miss, my onion's not on straight. You know how it is, the excitement of travel and whatnot. Have we [been engaged] met before?

Re: Video

[mrs_persson]

[He has to get engaged to SOMEONE while he's here! It must happen!]

I beg your pardon-I'm Una Persson. I'm a warden here. And no, we've not met.

Video

[helpmejeeves]

[It's listed under his Special Powers. "Ability to accidentally get engaged to women."]

Good afternoon, Miss Perrson. I didn't think I'd forget a topping profile like yours, but when one is on a celestial cruise one can't take anything for granted any more.

[rass_bestie]

[Oh, my goodness it's you. This is clearly some joke being played on him. He knows how conceited thinking that might be, but honestly, the rate he's going, this is clearly all about him and no mistake.] Hi.

[helpmejeeves]

[That voice is quite distinctive. Bertie yelps. First you talk out of his book, and now you talk out of his communicator! And he hasn't even had a whisky and s!

Except...lots of people are talking out of his communicator, and only one person has ever talked out of his book. Maybe this Means Something.]

What ho?

[rass_bestie]

… Welcome to the Barge.

[helpmejeeves]

Thank you...Upsilon? No, no, that wasn't it. Kappa. No, it was a vowel, I'm sure of it. Eta? [Shakes head. He might get there eventually...]

[empirical_data]

[And Data jumps to absolutely the wrong conclusion.] House? [Or... House's father? What?]

[helpmejeeves]

[Bertie jumps to an also-wrong conclusion. He looks behind him briefly as if to verify where he is.]

It's a flat, actually.

[empirical_data]

[No, no this man is too derpy to be related to House.] My apologies. You share a resemblance with an individual named House that I was acquainted with. I thought there might be the remote chance you were related.

[At least this fellow probably won't be asking to see Data's penis in public threads when he got drunk.]

[helpmejeeves]

No, no Houses in this family tree. By marriage there are Travers and Gregsons, but not a House in sight, unless you count the ancestral manse of Lord Yaxley. [Oh, Bertie, trying to make puns.]

I assume that this House fellow was a handsome chap with iron will?

[shortsghtedlove]

[Rassilon looks thoroughly unimpressed over here. Whatever the Admiral is taking, he hopes the damn fool runs out of it soon.]

[helpmejeeves]

[You mean this *doesn't* give you greater confidence in the Admiral's decision making skills?]

[shortsghtedlove]

[It only fuels his suspicion that the Admiral isn't simply incapable of steering his ship properly, but is under the influence of certain substances. As is probably this new Warden. That, or he was dropped a few times to many as an infant.]