I get depressed just thinking of work. Stomach twisting into knots. Why is that?

Sometimes it's so much a riddle
to your heads, no one can talk
or speak of it at all.
These years, all you have
in you, do they not mean
anything at all, that you would
still be stuck, stuck right
into the wall, as you were?

Isn't it amazing how I've never known anything but depression, always just blackness? I always imagine holding up a grain of sand, or a speck of dust, to symbolise the insignificance of my life, then realise, no, it's less than that, it's nothing, worth less than a strand of dust mite poop. Why should I need to quantify if anyway? I know how little ( Read more... )

i don't care much for grades not because they are just letters. they are more than that. i appreciate my grades more when they are the result of my mastery of the subject, not my mastery of the method of testing. when i look at my grades after having worked my arse off for it, i don't see the result of my hours of hard work; i see instead the time ( Read more... )

It never really occurred to me why Mr. K had been quite insistent that studying in SMU be a really good idea for me. He knew I strongly disliked the culture there, after all. It's only when I met him again recently that I realised why, even when there was no mention of SMU. I'd told him about what I'd experienced in the past several months since we ( Read more... )

It's Pinky and the Brain!
Pinky and the Brain!
We're Pinky and the Brain!
Pinky and the Brain!

It's Pinky,
we're Pinky and the BRAIN BRAIN BRAIN BRAIN BRAIN!

Just want to say thank you, to you, all you awesome friends I have. It always warms my heart, these gestures you make, big and small. And don't worry. I haven't yet sunk into the state that was previously a regular occurrence--there are shadows of it, and the memories still haunt, but they're no more than echoes of what was before. It's no longer ( Read more... )

HOW AM I STILL ALIVE?!? I'm a fucked up piece of shit, can't get my stupid life together. Should never have thought I could be more than this, never should've wasted all that time, effort and money of OTHER PEOPLE. HOW AM I STILL ALIVE??? Flip out every two weeks, spend the next two weeks TRYING to pick up the pieces but never managing to finish ( Read more... )

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I'm seriously considering if I should take a gap year to work and give my body a rest. Is that why I'm so screwed up?