Comments | helenish: VIKINGS: SOFT CATS.

helenish

VIKINGS: SOFT CATS.

Feb 25, 2011 12:44

I promise to restrict myself to one post about VIKINGS a day, and to not pepper you with knowledge that maybe you will wish you didn't have, like, Vikings called homosexual dudes "soft cats!" Also, vikings had maple trees. and shears! It's unclear as yet whether they used said shears to crop their unruly slaves' hair and whether said hair was ( Read more... )

vikings, i know

Comments 74

myricarubra February 25 2011, 18:17:18 UTC

I HAVE HEARTS IN MY EYES. This is just-- oh, Arthur the monk slave, you are truly the best.

helenish February 25 2011, 18:37:52 UTC

More than any other fandom I have ever written in, it is UNBELIEVABLE how much switching around Arthur and Eames' roles in the story transforms the thing into something completely and utterly unrecognizably different. I mean, this story is like BING BANG BOOM, let's kill things together, that's true love. When Arthur's the viking rapist, it's like...okay, 10,000 words later, Arthur is still like: WHY IS EAMES ALWAYS SO MAD AT ME. NOT THAT I CARE. NO REAL MAN CARES WHAT HIS SLAVE THINKS. SHIT, NOW EAMES IS GOING TO LOOK KIND OF SULKY WHEN I WANT TO CUDDLE TONIGHT. FUUUUUCK.

myricarubra February 25 2011, 18:44:58 UTC

Sigh sigh sigh, I just yelled 'THE MONK SLAVE' out loud and my sister looked at me all weirded out.

WHY IS EAMES ALWAYS SO MAD AT ME. NOT THAT I CARE. NO REAL MAN CARES WHAT HIS SLAVE THINKS. SHIT, NOW EAMES IS GOING TO LOOK KIND OF SULKY WHEN I WANT TO CUDDLE TONIGHT. FUUUUUCK.

This is such a beautiful story. I ADMIRE YOU SO MUCH, HELEN.

helenish February 25 2011, 19:59:50 UTC

Arthur has a LOT of thoughts about what real men do and do not do. He can't stop thinking about it, but whenever he tries to talk to Eames about it or tell Eames that if he doesn't shut his fucking smart mouth someone is going to get mad and beat him so be fucking careful, Eames gets all...SULLEN. Or just glares at him! Arthur hates the glaring! it's really a SMALL FUCKING HUT to spend all your time being glared at by a slave in.

Thread 34

foxxcub February 25 2011, 18:24:42 UTC

THIS IS THE BEST THING EVER.

anatsuno February 25 2011, 18:51:14 UTC

Would Viking use ship-, war- or fish-related metaphors for jerking off maybe? you know, um, descaling the herring, polishing the mast, things like that... *ducks*

helenish February 25 2011, 19:56:07 UTC

Oh, VIKINGS. Unfortunately, they talk about jerking off A LOT, so it can't be anything too crazily ridiculous, even though now that you mention it, I bet Arthur is always thinking privately about SHEATHING HIS SWORD IN EAMES, if you know what I mean.

anatsuno February 25 2011, 20:08:10 UTC

Maybe jerking off is simply "jettisoning". Or the vaguest of vague "taking care of oneself" / "spending" / "relieving" etc.

I'm not very helpful. Mostly I'm stuck thinking about Arthur sheathing his sword in Eames now.

firesprite1105 February 26 2011, 06:50:46 UTC

I feel there's a good Thor lightning bolt metaphor in there somewhere, if I wasn't too tired to find it.

blue_jack February 25 2011, 19:10:46 UTC

Oh my gosh, Arthur. *facepalm* He really doesn't make a good slave, does he? XD XD I love him.

neomeruru February 25 2011, 19:52:39 UTC

*snaps three times* YOU DON KNOW ME.

helenish February 25 2011, 19:56:26 UTC

also, Eames doesn't know Arthur's LIFE!