Comments | helenish: VIKINGS: SOFT CATS.

helenish

VIKINGS: SOFT CATS.

Feb 25, 2011 12:44

I promise to restrict myself to one post about VIKINGS a day, and to not pepper you with knowledge that maybe you will wish you didn't have, like, Vikings called homosexual dudes "soft cats!" Also, vikings had maple trees. and shears! It's unclear as yet whether they used said shears to crop their unruly slaves' hair and whether said hair was ( Read more... )

vikings, i know

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myricarubra February 25 2011, 18:17:18 UTC

I HAVE HEARTS IN MY EYES. This is just-- oh, Arthur the monk slave, you are truly the best.

helenish February 25 2011, 18:37:52 UTC

More than any other fandom I have ever written in, it is UNBELIEVABLE how much switching around Arthur and Eames' roles in the story transforms the thing into something completely and utterly unrecognizably different. I mean, this story is like BING BANG BOOM, let's kill things together, that's true love. When Arthur's the viking rapist, it's like...okay, 10,000 words later, Arthur is still like: WHY IS EAMES ALWAYS SO MAD AT ME. NOT THAT I CARE. NO REAL MAN CARES WHAT HIS SLAVE THINKS. SHIT, NOW EAMES IS GOING TO LOOK KIND OF SULKY WHEN I WANT TO CUDDLE TONIGHT. FUUUUUCK.

myricarubra February 25 2011, 18:44:58 UTC

Sigh sigh sigh, I just yelled 'THE MONK SLAVE' out loud and my sister looked at me all weirded out.

WHY IS EAMES ALWAYS SO MAD AT ME. NOT THAT I CARE. NO REAL MAN CARES WHAT HIS SLAVE THINKS. SHIT, NOW EAMES IS GOING TO LOOK KIND OF SULKY WHEN I WANT TO CUDDLE TONIGHT. FUUUUUCK.

This is such a beautiful story. I ADMIRE YOU SO MUCH, HELEN.

helenish February 25 2011, 19:59:50 UTC

Arthur has a LOT of thoughts about what real men do and do not do. He can't stop thinking about it, but whenever he tries to talk to Eames about it or tell Eames that if he doesn't shut his fucking smart mouth someone is going to get mad and beat him so be fucking careful, Eames gets all...SULLEN. Or just glares at him! Arthur hates the glaring! it's really a SMALL FUCKING HUT to spend all your time being glared at by a slave in.

myricarubra February 25 2011, 20:19:22 UTC

I am so charmed by their hut! No kidding, I've been spending a lot of time lately thinking about your viking story & about Arthur's hut. HUTS. Huts are, like, CUTE QUAILS, I guess-- cute! and adorable! and small! but sweet and comfortable!

Eames getting all SULLEN = precious mental image.

helenish February 25 2011, 20:23:32 UTC

well, it's more like, EAMES is all, here I am, thinking my own defiant thoughts because I am still a person even though I am a slave and you don't OWN MY THOUGHTS even if you are an awful barbarian murderer who will not stop talking about how you're allowed to put your dick in my mouth whenever you want. I am nobly thinking my OWN THOUGHTS SO THERE.

Arthur: Damnit. another night of sullen Eames. Will he get mad if I tell him I like his mouth? Fuck, probably.

myricarubra February 25 2011, 20:29:00 UTC

Eames the monk slave has a point! Viking Arthur really needs to get better at interacting with his monk slave.

Will he get mad if I tell him I like his mouth? I am so glad he manages to realize that it's not going to be accepted with grace. I am facepalming right now. OH, ARTHUR.

helenish February 25 2011, 20:37:23 UTC

Arthur can't figure out the RULES. He thought the rules were, I own you and I get to do whatever I please! But it turns out those aren't the rules, exactly and it's not like he can tell Eames to stop...looking at him...with..his eyes. like that.

myricarubra February 25 2011, 20:42:52 UTC

"100,000,000 words later, Arthur still doesn't know how to deal with sullen monk slave Eames." <---- I hope this is not what's going to happen with your viking story! I AM STARTING TO BE QUITE APPREHENSIVE. Because... it sounds like a really probable scenario... sigh sigh sigh, why so silly, viking Arthur. :( Don't you know that in order to achieve happiness and mutual orgasms you need to conquer Eames' HEART! Heart != body, in this case.

helenish February 25 2011, 20:46:09 UTC

SPOILERS: IT IS A ROMANCE. HEARTS ARE GIVEN. WORDS ARE SAID.

myricarubra February 25 2011, 21:02:58 UTC

ROMANCE + WORDS + HEARTS + STATUE OF ST. FRANCIS = PERFECTION.

I am so embarrassing sometimes.

cobweb_diamond February 25 2011, 20:50:59 UTC

"100,000,000 words later, Arthur still doesn't know how to deal with sullen monk slave Eames." = he might not have worked out what to do yet but they are together anyway. LIKE, HE IS SO SURE HE IS BEING A TERRIBLE BOYFRIEND BUT HE REALLY ISN'T. AND EAMES IS BAFFLED. MEANWHILE, SWORDFIGHTS.

Where are the swordfights. Maybe this is just me.

myricarubra February 25 2011, 21:06:10 UTC

Your priorities are adorable, Gav! SWORDFIGHTS. I have honestly not given a single thought to swordfights. There were, you know, sullen monks and baffled vikings and berserker huts!

VIKING ARTHUR, SECRETLY A REALLY GOOD BOYFRIEND. I like that!

cobweb_diamond February 25 2011, 21:11:30 UTC

BUT IT'S ONLY A SECRET FROM ARTHUR. like, all his viking bros etc are like, "holy shit, arthur is totally gone on his slave, am i right?" yet cautiously respectful because of course they know that arthur is fully capable of gutting them like a fish. BUT ARTHUR HAS NO IDEA. he is just glad that people now understand that they need to be appropriate towards eames.

My priorities are not shared by many. Tragic indeed.

helenish February 25 2011, 21:38:51 UTC

They are like, MAN. HAVE YOU SEEN THAT FUCKING GUY? DO NOT MESS WITH HIM. IT'S ALWAYS THE QUIET ONES. FUUUUCK. I WOULD FEEL BAD FOR THAT SLAVE WHO'S PROBABLY HAVING UNSPEAKABLY AWFUL THINGS DONE TO HIS BODY, EXCEPT WHO FEELS BAD FOR SLAVES, RIGHT? HA HA. TIME FOR BAWDY JOKES.

Don't make bawdy jokes about Arthur and his slave, though, seriously, he's crazy. He'll cut you. Also, really selfish and weird about his slave's mouth. Too bad he's the most awesome warrior in the village because he's also sort of a pain in the butt.

EXCEPT FOR ARTHUR'S CHILDHOOD FRIEND GEIR, WHO IS JUST GLAD ARTHUR HAS SOMEONE TO GO HOME TO. HE THOUGHT HE WAS GOING TO HAVE TO BUY ARTHUR A PRETTY SLAVE GIRL WITH HIS OWN MONEY OR SOMETHING.

apagon March 1 2011, 06:33:57 UTC

haha, oh gav, I like your priorities (swordfights!) Have you ever considered a career in choreographing violence/action?

BUT IT'S ONLY A SECRET FROM ARTHUR. like, all his viking bros etc are like, "holy shit, arthur is totally gone on his slave, am i right?" yet cautiously respectful because of course they know that arthur is fully capable of gutting them like a fish. hm, is it just me or does this remind me a bit of your jungle fic where all eames' mates are like, he is so whipped...

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