The Lost Note -Chapter 5-
Title: The Lost Note
Author: HeavensWine
Length: Series - Chapter 5
Rating: PG-13
Pairings: Jaeho, Yoosu
Genre: Romance, Slight angst and confusion
Summary: It’s been a tough year for the 4 members of TVXQ. They had to do everything without a leader. But what makes it harder was the feeling they kept inside. Yoochun made a mistake that affected Yunho and JaeJoong’s relationship. Will they ever regain those feelings? A misunderstanding that postponed their bond for more than a year.
Something the heart must have to cherish,
Must love and joy and sorrow learn;
Something with passion clasp or perish,
And itself to ashes burn.
< Trailer >
< Prologue >
< Chapter 1 >
< Chapter 2 >
< Chapter 3 >
< Chapter 4 >
NSync - Sailing
It's not far to never never land
No reason to pretend
And if the wind is right you can find the joy
Of innocence again
Sailing
Takes me away
To where I've always heard it could be
Just a dream and the wind to carry me
And soon I will be free
Chapter 5
[Third Person’s POV]
“You think those 2 really just slipped a while ago?” Junsu asked Yoochun who was at his back with two arms wrapped around him.
“They just slipped. Jaejoong doesn’t lie about awkward situations like that.” Yoochun answered Junsu as he reached out for the joystick beside Changmin.
“Yah!” Changmin slapped Yoochun’s hand away. “I’m next to play!!”
“Minnie, it feels good to be in love.” Yoochun said as he hugged Junsu tighter.
“Honestly, are you together?” Changmin asked them.
“No! We’re not!” Yoochun and Junsu chorused.
“Why not? You both love each other.” Changmin teased them.
“We do?” Junsu asked.
“I do.” Yoochun admitted close to Junsu’s ear.
“See?” Changmin looked at them. “I can’t see why you cannot be lovers?”
“Can’t!” Both of the guys sitting together chorused again.
“Why not?”
“Media?” Junsu said discreetly admitting his love for the other. Yoochun smiled at this.
“You can hide it. And you?” Changmin asked Yoochun.
“I have my own reason.” Yoochun looked down.
“He has girls.” Junsu said pressing the start button to start playing again.
Yoochun reached the joystick in Junsu’s hands and press start to stop the game. “I just really have my own reason. No girls involve.” Then he held Junsu’s hand making the other look at him. This gave him a chance to stare intently at Su’s eyes.
Junsu broke the eye contact, looked back at the TV Screen and leaned on Yoochun’s chest and rolled his eyes. This time, Changmin was the one who pressed the start button to go on with the game. “Well, both of you are basically a couple anyway.”
Yoochun moved to sit between Changmin and Junsu who were busy playing. “I wonder how awkward the situation between the both of them is right now.” Yoochun sighed.
“Between who and who?” Junsu asked innocently.
“Yunho and Jaejoong, of course, who else?” Changmin said.
Junsu quit playing and faced Yoochun and Changmin. “It has been a year and until now, I still don’t have a lot of idea about what had happened. I didn’t want to ask before because I was scared at how sad Jaejoong-hyung had been.” Junsu tried to recall. “Can you explain? I’m sorry that I wasn’t the person Yunho-hyung told his secrets to.” He looked at Changmin. Then he shifted his soft gaze to Yoochun and added, “And I’m sorry I was not the person JaeJoong-hyung trusted about it either.”
‘Should I tell them what happened? The truth? But this might cause some trouble.’ Yoochun was lost in his thoughts.
“Well, Junsu, no need for apologies. And I’ll tell you what I knew since you look so innocent.” Changmin started as he stopped playing and faced Junsu.
‘Maybe, I just need to listen along with what Changmin has to say since I don’t know what happened to Yunho-hyung in the airport that day.’ Yoochun decided.
“Yunho loved Jae. He thought, at first, that he’s just really comfortable with Jae-hyung but he started, you know, wanting to take Jae out and something more a boyfriend would do for his girlfriend.”
“So you’re saying Yunho thinks that Jae’s a girl?” Junsu asked out of curiosity.
“No. Nothing like that. Yunho-hyung just really started treating Jae gently, more romantically, without him noticing it. He even had these thoughts that maybe Jae-hyung likes him too. Every night, he would tell me things Jae-hyung and him did together. It’s like I’ve just subscribed to an audio drama. His stories had become my lullabies to sleep.”
“Do you even have to include that?” Junsu asked waiting for Changmin to continue.
Changmin glared at Junsu. “By Yunho’s stories, I was certain as well that Jaejoong liked him too. So he had always asked me if he should take the move and tell Jaejoong everything. I was forcing him to let it out but he was a coward. He was a big chicken. Until he told us the news that he needs to go study abroad because of his father’s wish.”
“That’s when he was forced to tell Jae-hyung everything, right when he was leaving the next day.” Yoochun said in an almost inaudible manner.
Junsu nodded and Changmin continued, “He confessed to Jae-hyung but poor hyung when Jae-hyung just left him in the room. It turned out that Jae didn’t actually feel the same way as I expected. Yunho-hyung would have apologized to him in the airport. He just wanted to assure Jae-hyung that he can take care of his own feeling; that Jae-hyung doesn’t have to worry, that everything is still cool between them and so on. While in the airport, Yunho-hyung thought Jae-hyung felt disgusted by him. Why? Because Jae-hyung didn’t even come. I really sympathized Yunho-hyung.”
Feeling terrible about what had happened, Junsu bit his lip.“That was really sad. I mean… I am not shocked that they had feelings for each other. I think it’s quite natural to fall for someone who has been there for you all the time, especially if that someone isn’t blood related to you and if you keep on seeing him every time, everywhere. Whether it’s the same sex as yours or not would not matter. Come on! It’s a different world now.”
“The worst part was…” Changmin breathed heavily. “Yunho hyung didn’t even cry on me about Jae-hyung. He hid it, I suppose. At the airport, when he was about to leave. We were all there. You all heard him said that he was losing hope. But again, he didn’t even show us any tears.
“Before he left officially, he told me: One day he'll love me, the way I loved him. One day he'll think of me the way I thought of him. One day he'll cry for me, the way I cried for him.”
“He sounded bitter about Jae-hyung not loving him back. I understand in a way, he must have been so hurt to feel such cruel rejection. So he really did cry?” Junsu asked.
“Yes, that’s how I know he cried…secretly. A man’s tears, it is. Anyway, he also said this: One day he'll want me, but I won't want him. I thought I loved him, but he had to break my heart for me to know what true love really is.”
“Omo! Did hyung meant what he said? Come to think of it. Since he got back, he acts as if nothing had happened between the two of them. Yunho-hyung’s heart must have been terribly broken to the point where one wouldn’t know how to fix it as it was. It must be really hard for him to see JaeJoong-hyung too. But looking at them, why does it feel like Jae-hyung is the one having a hard time?.”
Changmin nodded and said, “That’s what I was wondering too and I thought Yunho-hyung would have revenge for JaeJoong or something with what he told me. I thought he’d ignore JaeJoong all this time but JaeJoong’s the one acting strange.”
“So…What did you say to Yunho when he said those words?” Junsu questioned.
“I asked him not to cease his love.” Changmin confirmed.
Junsu nodded as and asked for continuation, “And he said?”
“He shrugged me off.” Changmin sadly disclosed. Both Changmin and Junsu looked at each other and slowly drifted their gape to Yoochun.
“Chunnie, you’ve been…“ Junsu looked at Yoochun who had been quiet throughout the discussion. “…quiet.“ He was surprised to see Yoochun’s eyes filling up with tears. Changmin was surprised too but he just allowed Junsu to comfort him.
“Hey, what’s up with you?” Junsu asked Yoochun with concern as he wrapped his arm behind Yoochun’s waist.
Yoochun remained silent.
“Is there something bothering you? Or are you sad about Yunho-hyung and Jae-hyung’s story?” Changmin fished around the possibilities of Yoochun’s sadness.
“Who wouldn’t be sad, Minnie?” Junsu asked. Then he turned to Yoochun and said, “But if you don’t want to talk about what’s bothering you-”
“What happened to both of them is just really sad.” Yoochun stated. “I just hope I was there to bring them together.” He sighed and wiped the liquid threatening to fall off his eyes.
Junsu caressed Yoochun’s cheek and said, “You don’t have to feel bad. It was not your fault, neither does ours. It’s not like we could have done anything anyway if Jae-hyung didn’t have the same feelings for him at that time.”
“What if he did?” Yoochun asked softly while showing a hint of remorse in his face.
This time, Changmin spoke, “Then it was his fault for keeping it to himself, for not responding to hyung’s heart and for letting him go.”
Yoochun’s eyes started to form tears again. “Hey, Chunnie-ah, You know something, don’t you? I just feel that you do. Did Jae-hyung love Yunho-hyung? Did you know it?” Junsu asked continuously.
After silently debating if he should tell the other two or not, Yoochun decided to trust them. “I’ve been keeping things by myself for over a year now…since Yunho left.” Yoochun started.
Changmin moved closer eager to hear the forming revelation.
“It’s been a year of regret for me. I’ve done…something wrong, a mistake that...”
Junsu shifted his body to the left to face Yoochun even more.
“I’m just…not yet ready to let it out.” Yoochun looked down and sighed.
“Come on, hyung. You’re killing me. I’m dying of curiosity.” Changmin declared.
“I can’t…tell you now. Not yet. I want to think of ways to correct that mistake first. Maybe, I will need your help to be able to do that.” He looked at the two members eager to listen to his problem and smiled at them. “I’ll tell you right away. I promise.”
Junsu and Changmin looked at each other and nodded. Then they looked back to Yoochun and squeezed him into a hug. Changmin said, “Whatever it is that’s troubling your mind, don’t hesitate to ask us for help anytime, okay?”
“And we will always be here to make love to you.” Junsu affirmed.
“What?!” Changmin stopped the hugging and lean back. He looked at Junsu instinctively and said, “Only you!! I love Yoochun-hyung but I won’t make love.”
“Changmin-ah, you’re watching a lot of your videos. There are actually many forms of making love. You can even already make love by hugging.” Junsu said innocently still clinging into Yoochun.
Changmin stood up and faced his back on them. “I’ll just go visit the two and check how my beloved food is doing. It seems to be taking them so long”
“Oh…Changmin!” Yoochun hurriedly said.
“What?” He replied raising his eyebrows.
“Doesn’t taking them long means they are making out? If that’s the case then maybe we should just wait for them here. It would be a bad idea to disturb them.” Yoochun finished.
Changmin looked at Yoochun with disbelief. The same look he has given Junsu a while ago. smile, “Hyung, they might probably just be making up not making out.” Then with his hands on his waist, he looked at his two hyungs on the couch and continued, “Stop changing the meaning of making up to making out to making love.”
“Why? It will eventually lead to that anyway.” Yoochun asserted.
“Possibly…but not right now, hyung.” Changmin smiled.
“Just don’t go there. Something right is probably keeping them long enough in there. It would be your guilt to disturb them. I know you want them together just as much as I…” Yoochun looked at Junsu, “…we do.”
Changmin and Junsu looked at Yoochun curiously.
Yoochun faced Junsu and pointed at Changmin accusingly, “I saw him posting sweet articles in a YoonJae fansite. And last night,” Yoochun looked at Changmin and smiled. “He fell asleep on his computer writing a YunJae fic about Yunho-hyung’s returning.”
Junsu was shocked at the stated fact but it bothered him to see Yoochun smile like that. “You’re smiling weirdly, Chunnie.” Junsu said.
“That’s because the fanfic he was writing contains----” Yoochun was cut off when Changmin ran back to him and covered his mouth with his hand.
“Stop it!!” Changmin’s obviously embarrassed. He started playfully hitting Yoochun’s back.
“I thought you were just watching. Now, you’re writing things like that too?” Junsu asked teasingly.
“I’m a fan.” Changmin admitted. Then he faced his hyungs and charged, “How could you read it when I was asleep? At least think of my privacy.”
“We’re a fan too.” Junsu smirked then continued, “And nothing’s wrong with writing things like that. It’s a fanfic anyway.”
“Yah!! Don’t let them know about it!” The youngest threatened the other two seating on the couch.
“And besides, you’re gonna post it on whatever fansite there is with your anonymous username.” Yoochun deduced.
Changmin looked at Yoochun with big eyes and defended, “Hey! I’m not going to post my fanfics anywhere. It’s only for my own pleasure.”
Junsu was shocked and exclaimed, “Fanfics?!!! Fics?!! How many have you done?”
Yoochun backed him up by reckoning, “And pleasure, you say? Omo!”
Junsu and Yoochun looked at each other, eyes and mouth wide open, and then back to Changmin who just stared a little irritated at them and said, “Shut up.”
Then there was an awkward silence. They all looked at each other as they realize that an angel just might have passed by and they all burst out laughing.
“I’m really hungry now.” Changmin started walking to the kitchen again.
“Hey!” Yoochun shouted at him.
Changmin yelled back trying his best not to smile, “Hey, Yoochun!” Then Junsu and Yoochun laughed as they hear Changmin not referring to them as a brother anymore. “I’m really hungry now! I don’t like it when someone keeps on preventing me to eat.” He said it seriously then laughed a bit.
“I’m not telling you not to eat.” Yoochun objected.
“Yes, but you’re preventing me not to eat sooner.” Changmin paused. “And I guess whatever it is that’s happening in the kitchen right now between the two of them can be continued after I tell them how hungry I am.” Then he turned to leave again.
Changmin then turned around to head to the kitchen. Yoochun looked at Junsu and complained, “His stomach…Aish!”
Junsu finished Yoochun’s phrase, “Really scary, like a monster.”
Yoochun playfully but gently pushed Junsu’s face away from him. Yoochun laughed when he saw Junsu’s why-did-you-do-that expression. When they had both gotten over it, they faced the screen and started playing again.
Mean while, Changmin, who tried to ignore Junsu and Yoochun’s laughter, walked into the kitchen to check the food’s condition.
“Jae-hyung, is the----” He was stopped and left surprised with what he saw.
A/N: PLEASE LEAVE A COMMENT AFTER READING. Comments make authors happy. Ehrr... And... Sorry about the four chapter update before. Some of you saw that, the one with Chapter 4, 5, 6 and 7. Here is what happened. That wasn't really an update but just a story draft for the chapters. It was supposed to be private (for me only) here in my journal but I think I clicked "friends" instead of "just me" so some of you were able to see it. I'm so sorry about that. That was just a draft. I've posted the final Chapter 4 already and in here, the final Chapter 5. Aish. That was a big spoiler.. :D Those who have read it might be confused because I changed some of the scenes. Thanks for understanding and gomen. :(