This Livejournal.
It is dead for real this time.
Now I have http://halphillips.org
It's not really doing much yet, but it will be.
So this shit's over.
Go there.

I usually write closed captioning for TV, but today, I'm doing it for the DVD release of "The Big Gay Sketch Show". Since it's on DVD, it's uncensored. Here are some phrases that I got paid to write today ( Read more... )

I am captioning Until Death., a Jean-Claude Van Damme film that came out less than a year ago. It's probably the worst film I've ever seen, full of cliched tough-cop stuff ( Read more... )

Here is my list of the top films of 2007 so far, as presented by someone who has only seen three of them ( Read more... )

So on Friday night, I wore makeup, for a show in which I played Robert Smith.
I've worn makeup before, but not often and not recently.
And the makeup I bought for this was cheap crap.

That makeup FUCKED UP MY FUCKING FACE.

Ever since Friday night, it has been red and crackly.

This is annoying.

Thanks to SpongeBob SquarePants's friend Patrick, I suddenly have an intense craving for a peanut butter taco.

All my life, I've hated hot weather and loved cold weather. This might go back to when I was a week old, and I'm told my parents drove me home from the hospital during a mid-July heatwave in a car with broken air conditioning. Most people's idea of a "nice day" is not mine. Weather forecasters should not fucking editorialize ( Read more... )

The MTV cafe has a typo on a sign right now.
Instead of "black and white cookies", it says "black and white coolies".

"Coolies" sounds like an appealing name for some form of snack food, and if anyone who is reading this works in marketing, I encourage you to use it. I would buy Coolies.

On Saturday afternoon, I found out that I would briefly portray Bono from U2 in a sketch comedy show, as part of a sketch that dealt with demonic possession and otherworldly spirits ( Read more... )

Here are some phrases that, up to now, have produced zero search results in Google ( Read more... )