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Things I wish I could say to the people at my school
- Last year was one of the worst years of my life, and choir was at the root of that.
- No, seriously, choir: I've complained before about the demands/rewards disparity, but that class was fucking exhausting.
- By the way, "fuck"? I never used that word before last year.
- J. Schorr is an abusive asshole. He snapped at his students every week, argued with ( Read more... )
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Dreams again
I dreamed that I went to recover my cousins' toddler son from a place like Fairyland, only more like "cultish small town in post-apocalyptic Eastern Europe", and I went not as a human, but as an aspect of Death. They had no power over me and I had no power over them, since this place was deathless -- they tried to bar my entry but I told them that ( Read more... ) -
meaningful mondegreen
‘Cause I’m on top of the world
I’m on top of the world
Waiting on this for a while now
Paying my dues to the dirge
I’ve been waiting to smile
Been holding it in for a while -
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How can I help the people around me who are hurting when my grip on my emotional health and sanity is so tenuous? -
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So, I want to try to explain feeling suicidal. Depression varies from person to person, so obviously this will as well. Still, I think there are enough common elements to be worth trying to explain how I see it ( Read more... ) -
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I remember this part. It feels like it's not real anymore. There was the shock, and the crying, and now there's the sense that it can't possibly have happened. It feels like I'm dreaming ( Read more... ) -
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Stress is triggering worrying memory lapses again. It's given me all sorts of lovely health problems in the past year and a half, but I'm weathering fairly well ( Read more... ) -
Social anxiety disorder != shyness: another metaphor
So, you want me to run a marathon, right? When I tell you I physically can't, you figure I just need some practice and try to make me do it anyway. Thing is, it's not that the muscles are weak and I just need some fresh air and exercise, it's that I'm missing a leg.
You might not have noticed this because I have a metaphorical prosthetic made out ( Read more... ) -
an older dream, story idea?
(Wrote this down during class sometime last year, I think. I've forgotten a lot about it, so some of this doesn't make sense, but I'm copying it almost sic anyway.)
I dreamed of a dystopia, where boxes projected what you heard and felt and cameras projected what you saw, and if you looked too hard at either, the illusions intensified. If you were ( Read more... ) -
Regrets: people-memorabilia
So, I unfriended Nick (CB) on facebook. I met him on xbox live and have enjoyed playing with him -- I still will, if he's not angry with me -- but he's unabashedly racist and misogynistic and apparently unrepentantly sociopathic. I figured I could tolerate the misogynistic metaphors and the rape jokes because he was ignorant, but I did make that ( Read more... )