Social anxiety disorder != shyness: another metaphor
So, you want me to run a marathon, right? When I tell you I physically can't, you figure I just need some practice and try to make me do it anyway. Thing is, it's not that the muscles are weak and I just need some fresh air and exercise, it's that I'm missing a leg.
You might not have noticed this because I have a metaphorical prosthetic made out of drugs, therapy, coping methods, and limits. The limits are kind of important: I know how far I can go or what I can do before it hurts too much or I get exhausted. It's not a comfort zone: it's knowing what my body can and can't do.
Walking is a pretty cool accomplishment for me, and it will never be entirely comfortable. I have worked damn hard to become moderately functional. When you tell me it's just my comfort zone and I need to get past it, you're throwing shit over all that I've already done, and demonstrating a critical failure in judgement.
So, maybe I've told you that I can do it, but it will hurt like hell and I'll be wiped out for days -- which I can't really afford, because I have classes and deadlines and, basically, shit to do. Maybe you want me to do it anyway. If it's because it needs doing and there's no way to mediate it, fine. I'll do what I can and take the hit, sacrifice where I can to make sure I don't crash. If it's because you think you're improving me, giving me tough love, getting me used to the world, fuck off.
You're not helping me grow. I am helping me grow. You, by pushing me past my limits, are chopping a serious divot in my figurative prosthetic and making it harder for me to walk, let alone run.
You might not have noticed this because I have a metaphorical prosthetic made out of drugs, therapy, coping methods, and limits. The limits are kind of important: I know how far I can go or what I can do before it hurts too much or I get exhausted. It's not a comfort zone: it's knowing what my body can and can't do.
Walking is a pretty cool accomplishment for me, and it will never be entirely comfortable. I have worked damn hard to become moderately functional. When you tell me it's just my comfort zone and I need to get past it, you're throwing shit over all that I've already done, and demonstrating a critical failure in judgement.
So, maybe I've told you that I can do it, but it will hurt like hell and I'll be wiped out for days -- which I can't really afford, because I have classes and deadlines and, basically, shit to do. Maybe you want me to do it anyway. If it's because it needs doing and there's no way to mediate it, fine. I'll do what I can and take the hit, sacrifice where I can to make sure I don't crash. If it's because you think you're improving me, giving me tough love, getting me used to the world, fuck off.
You're not helping me grow. I am helping me grow. You, by pushing me past my limits, are chopping a serious divot in my figurative prosthetic and making it harder for me to walk, let alone run.