A Better Way to Fall in Love (Ch.3b/12) (College AU)
Title: A Better Way to Fall in Love (Ch.3b/12)(College AU)
Rating: NC-17
Spoilers: 2x15
Word Count: 5,110
Warnings: College AU, language, explicit sex, underage drinking, triple angst, major Klaine, major Niff, Nick/Kurt, Blaine/Jeff, Kurt/Warbler(OC), drug use, cheating, frat boys
Summary: "Original Songs" never happened, and Kurt and Blaine didn't start dating until their freshman year of college when they were roommates. At the end of their freshman summer, Kurt did something he really regrets, and now it's sophomore year, and bad decisions are about to be made, mostly out of love. It's college, and sometimes, getting a blow job is way more important than studying.
Author's Notes: This is the third addition in the Great Romances of the 21st Century 'verse. Freshman year = GROT21C/Summer before sophomore year = Summer Skin. You do not need to read Summer Skin to be able to read this (I wouldn't). If you want to skip right in and not read either story, here's a summary of both. (It's like SparkNotes!) Also, masterlist here!
star55 and teaboytoaliens beta this story and my life. They are the purple, red, and dark blue Skittles.
Chapter Summary/Quote:
"Sorry, I don't [have sex with] dudes."
Kurt pulls back, feeling insulted. He scoffs. "Well, don't knock it until you've tried it."
Songs for this chapter:
Ending scene of Breakfast at Tiffany's *spoiler* ...It just seems like what Kurt needs to hear, and it's relevant to the last scene, I suppose.
If you want to feel better: "Incy Wincy Spider" by I have no idea. I am not insane, you will see.
Chapter 1 | Chapter 2a | Chapter 2b | Chapter 3a
Blaine said the other night that weed was expensive. If he would opt out on not going to see his favorite emo band of all time because of weed, there is something terribly wrong, Kurt thinks. Instead of reasoning with Blaine and letting him spend his money on what he wants, Kurt decides it's finally time to intervene. Even if Blaine won't let him be his boyfriend or really even his friend, Kurt will make Blaine his business anyway. It's the right thing to do. ...Or maybe he knows it's not, but he doesn't know how to function without Blaine in his life anymore, so this will have to do.
Right now, however, he's getting drunk at the frat house. Though, according to Kurt's reasoning process, it's for a good reason. Excuses, excuses. Nick retired early--retired as in said he was too tired to have sex. Strangely enough, Kurt's okay with this. He's starting to understand the difference between wanting to have sex with Nick and wanting Nick. He knows who he wants, and his name starts with a letter much farther up the alphabet.
Okay, back to the point: Kurt's hyper. He's on a mission. A mission of missions. He hasn't been on a mission in a while, but when it comes to helping Blaine, his body feels intense and his adrenaline rushes. Or maybe that's just how he feels walking up to an intimidating hot guy when he's drunk.
He walks up to Trevor who's currently at one of the kegs, refilling his beer. "Hiii..." Kurt says sweetly. Trevor turns his head and smirks, leaning over the keg to fill his cup and then stands straight back up. Kurt feels weird having to look up at him. I need to stop falling for short guys.
"Hey, love. 'Sup?"
Kurt smiles and leans in closer to him. Trevor raises his eyebrow. It's now or never, Hummel. For Blaine! "Hey, Trevie, you know Blaine?"
"Who?"
"...Blaine."
Trevor sips his beer and has to think for a minute. "Oh, yeah. Blaine. He still has my iPod, tell him I want it back. How do you know him?"
Kurt stares at him dumbfounded. "...He's my best friend. He's, well, he was my boyfriend. ...You were sitting with him last week when I went to pick him up. He was really high and freaking out."
Trevor's laughs, looking like this is brand new information. "Um, yeah, I don't remember that, but okay. That makes pretty good sense though, because I was wondering why Nick knows Blaine and how they both know you... I just figured you were all fucking, though. I don't know."
"What? No. What? ...Well, we knew Nick in high school kind of, and he was my first boyfriend, but then I--" he doesn't feel like telling this story right now "--But wait, why don't you remember that I know Blaine? That was a week ago."
He shrugs, sipping his drink. "I was on acid." He leans against the wall, looking out at the crowd, not looking in Kurt's eyes very much. He's playing the cool douchebag guy. Kurt doesn't have time to evaluate other people's life choices right now, though, and he's finally starting to realize that college really does force you to meet different types of people you only thought existed in films. Fascinating. He pokes Trevor's arm. Oh my god, it's like... there. A muscular arm. Sex. ...Okay, no, fine.
"Hey, you. Hey, I have a proposition to make. You need to look at me first. Face me, even."
Trevor looks down at him and smiles, turning his body to face Kurt's. He's wearing a slim v-neck that nicely displays how much he must work out, and it makes Kurt feel feelings. For a guy that apparently does a lot of drugs, he sure looks... cool. He stands as straight as he can, trying to appear as confident and cocky as his proposition sounds. "So, hey, I was wondering... I'll have sex with you if you stop selling pot to Blaine. Sound like a plan?"
The taller boy's eyebrows furrow and he puts a hand on Kurt's back. "What are you talking about?"
An exaggerated, drunken sigh. "...Blaine's been through a lot with drugs so far, and I know you're probably like... Mr. Druggie, whatever, and that's fine, but it's not for Blaine. He won't stop, and he's wasting his money and brain. And um..." Blaine's brain, ha ha. Say that ten times fast. "...As I was saying... He's a really good singer, and I need him to be in the school musical with me in the winter, so he needs to stop smoking for that reason, too. I need you to stop selling it to him, and in exchange for your lost customer, I will be your sex slave for a night. Or a week. Or, like, a month. But no more than that. Is that fair?"
Trevor grins and presses his hand further into Kurt as he laughs. "What!?"
Kurt bites his lip and thinks he made the right decision. This guy's got a nice smile, not to mention how good he probably is at fucking in showers... Okay, stop.
"Deal?"
Trevor smirks and leans his head down to Kurt's ear. He's definitely been drinking, but he seems more composed than Kurt. "Sorry, I don't fuck dudes."
Kurt pulls back, feeling insulted. He scoffs. S'cuse me? "Well, don't knock it until you've tried it. God. Really?"
Trevor continues smirking. "Really."
My gaydar has betrayed me... There's no way. "No, I have terrific gaydar--okay, maybe not so much. But you definitely want me."
Trevor's smirk softens until it completely fades away, but he lifts his beer cup up so Kurt can't really see his facial expression anymore. He glances towards the party and then looks back down to Kurt with a less amused facial expression. His hand lifts the back of Kurt's shirt up a little, but then just like that, he's backing away from him. He smirks softly again. "If this is your way of trying to get in my pants, you'll have to be more creative. Though, I do appreciate the effort. ...But Blaine's a big boy... He can decide for himself what to do." He winks and then walks away.
Feeling embarrassed, Kurt decides he should leave the party now. His gaydar might be malfunctioning, but that hand that lifted up his shirt says otherwise. It's on, frat boy.
He texts Nick. Hey, can I come up tonight? I just don't want to go back to the dorm.
----
Nick's in his bed with his laptop on his stomach. He was researching for a paper, but then he accidentally clicked on a porn link, and then his hand magically found his dick, so yeah. Much more interesting than researching for an art paper. The main boy in the video has light shaggy blond hair, so obviously, Nick's not thinking about Jeff. He's not putting his laptop off to the side and turning his light off, and he's definitely not lying his head down on his pillow to get more comfortable. He's definitely not vividly imagining Jeff's mouth on his cock, his head bobbing up and down, or feeling his tongue swirl around the head of his cock.
He hears his phone vibrate on his homework desk, and he knows that it's probably from Kurt, but he can't bring himself to want to do anything with him anymore. Not right now, anyway. He can't stop thinking about Jeff, and Jeff hasn't even tried to contact him in a week, so he feels even more like shit.
He misses him, but last time David yelled at him through text, he got the information that Jeff is now in a band with David, Adam, and some other guy. He's proud of him--proud that Jeff's finally doing what he's always wanted to do in college, and now, he doesn't need Nick's approval to feel happy.
Nick definitely doesn't come as he pictures Jeff moaning his name.
~*~
The theater club meets inside the college's main theater every Tuesday at noon. That's where Kurt is right now. The professor that runs the club is better at forming group discussion and actually listening than Mr Schuester used to, but Kurt doesn't feel like this club is as close yet as New Directions was to him. Obviously, it's only the first meeting, but he doesn't feel that immediate spark that he wanted to feel. Maybe it will be there in time. He's going to try to remember to tell Blaine to come here. Maybe they can join the glee club, and so can Nick, and then Blaine can take it over...
As he's walking back, he decides to take the long walk back to his dorm, because it's pretty warm for an early October day. The leaves are changing colors finally, and the random and numerous types of trees are nice to look at. He's hoping Blaine's class will end and then he'll accidentally spot him outside of the English building so maybe they'll get lunch together.
However, he changes his course of action when he sees Trevor sitting in the grass with a group of people not fifty feet away. They're in a circle, one guy is talking with his hands, and they all look very concentrated and absorbed in what the speaker is saying. Interesting. Kurt walks towards the group but decides to walk behind Trevor's back so the boy won't see him coming.
He hears the names 'Descartes' and 'Kant' being used, and even though Kurt doesn't know who Kant is, he for sure knows from his time of stalking Chicago on Google Earth that Descartes is the name of a coffee shop in The Loop, and Descartes is a famous philosopher or something. It must be a philosophy club. Trevor has hobbies other than being hot and doing drugs. Interesting. Very, very interesting.
Kurt happily sits down next to Trevor, smiling at the boy that is now staring at him hard. He speaks when there's a moment of silence after someone talks. "Yeah, Socrates' and Plato's relationship always interested me. It's good to know that everyone influential back in that time were all kind of gay. Right, Trevor?"
Trevor turns to him, baffled, and someone tries to argue with Kurt, but Kurt's already standing up and smiling. "Whoops. Wrong club. Sorry, guys." Trevor looks a little annoyed, but when Kurt turns a last time to look at him, he's smiling playfully. That's right. He gets twenty feet away before he feels Trevor's hand on his shoulder, pulling him around. Kurt smiles. "Oh, hi..."
Trevor just looks at him blankly. "I don't sell to Blaine. I never have. I smoked him down once and then gave him some of a weed brownie another time. That's it. ...I don't know if he knows any other dealers, but I honestly don't sell him anything. He did ask me the other day what incense smelled like weed, so... Maybe he's lying to you."
"...Are you lying so I don't try to disrupt your little club again? You didn't even remember who Blaine was last night."
Trevor smirks and pats Kurt's cheek before walking back towards the club. "I would never lie to you, love. I'd go question your boy if I were you."
Kurt just stares off. He has to talk to Blaine.
----
He texts Blaine ten minutes later to ask where he is around campus. Blaine says he has work in twenty minutes. Oh, really? Kurt will go to Blaine's work then.
He goes back to the dorm first to drop off his messenger bag and to change his outfit. He's not sure why, but if he's going to try to get the truth out of Blaine, he's going to look good doing it. He decides on tight black pants and an opened red jacket with a white button up shirt to wear underneath it. Putting on a skinny black tie and his favorite black boots to complete the look, he now feels like he's ready for anything. It took him about fifteen minutes to decide on it, so now Blaine's been at work for probably ten minutes. He wants to catch him on his break, but he's too anxious to wait to go to the coffee shop.
When he gets there, he immediately sees Blaine working the cash register. He smiles at him and waits in line behind a couple customers, bursting with curiosity, even though he knows he can't just ask him in front of everyone "HEY, DID YOU LIE ABOUT SMOKING WEED?" So, he'll wait until Blaine's on break and then ask him for the truth out back. He orders a drink and is surprised when Blaine gives him his discount. It almost makes him feel bad about questioning him soon.
"When can you go on a break?"
Blaine looks at him curiously, but then notices it's not going to get any busier right now. "I can go on one in ten minutes." Kurt nods and goes out back behind the shop to wait for Blaine to 'smoke his cigarette' on his break. The back of the shop faces the back of other shops, but it's all quiet and unoccupied by people. Kurt thinks it's relaxing.
When he gets out, Blaine immediately takes his apron off and puts it on top of some empty crate boxes. It's warmer than it was this morning, but the colder air still makes Kurt's cheeks look slightly pink. Suddenly, he happens to notice that Blaine's not lighting a smoke like he should be. He asks where his cigarette is.
Blaine blushes as he walks over to him, leaning against the cool brick. "Oh, yeah, um, I have to go buy some more. I smoked my last one this morning."
Kurt nods, deciding to get to the point before Blaine has to get off break. "So um, who do you buy from? ...I have a friend that needs a new hookup."
Blaine's eyes widen. "Really? Um, well... You know Nick's guy across the hall?"
"Trevor?"
"Yeah, him."
Kurt stares at him. "...Really?" He gets closer to Blaine.
Blaine gets nervous. "...Yeah?" He thinks that Kurt looks really attractive right now, and it makes it harder for him to make up more lies when Kurt's cheeks look flushed from the cold and it's making his lips look redder, too. Don't think things.
"Blaine, Trevor said he doesn't sell to you. I asked him."
"Why'd you ask him!?"
Kurt gets closer to him still. "...Because I'm worried about you. I know you don't want to talk to me anymore, but you didn't have to lie. Are you smoking pot at all?"
It takes Blaine a long time to want to reply, but then, he really doesn't want to lie anymore. It's been exhausting him. "...No. I haven't since that one night."
"Then what do you do with your film friends every night?" Kurt doesn't even notice how close he is to Blaine until he's speaking softly and he thinks he sees Blaine glancing at his lips.
Blaine shrugs. "...Well, they get high, I just hang out. I make them blow the smoke on my coat so it smells more like it though."
"..." Kurt stares at him. "So you really don't want to be close with me anymore? You lied and went to such great lengths to keep me away?"
Blaine frowns and steps towards him once more, his hand daring to reach out for the other boy's side. "Kurt... It's not like that. I just--" Kurt looks really good in those tight jeans and his ass looks great. Kurt looks hurt. Blaine can't take it.
His hand slides to the back of Kurt's neck and he kisses him hard without thinking. Time, undoubtedly, stops. They stay like that for a minute, feeling each others' lips for the first time in over a month. It feels surprisingly right and it makes Kurt want to cry out of happiness without breaking his lips from Blaine's. They start making out hard, and then Blaine's turning them around, pressing Kurt against the brick and grinding into him as their tongues battle for dominance. Kurt usually wins, but not this time. Blaine's wanted this much longer, he thinks.
Kurt pulls back after he can't breathe anymore and immediately drops to his knees. He's about to yank Blaine's pants down, reassuring himself with Blaine's dick in his mouth that they'll get back together, but then... You look stupid. Get up. What are you doing? He slowly looks up at Blaine who looks more than ready for Kurt to pull his pants down and take him in his mouth, but no. Kurt groans in frustration and kneels back off the ground. His hands fly to the top of his head. "Shit, no! What am I doing? What am I doing, Blaine?"
Blaine bites his lip and just stares at him.
Kurt frowns and leans his face into the wall of the cool brick. "Why'd you lie to me? If you wanted to say 'hey, Kurt, I hate you', you could have just done that instead of lie."
Blaine sighs and leans his head against the wall facing Kurt, trying to forget about all his spontaneous sexual fantasies that just got denied. It's probably best we don't get caught and I don't lose my job. That would suck... more than dick. Right now, though, he's starting to feel like this is going to be an open conversation with an undetermined ending. It's just time for all the truth they both could possibly give each other.
"You cheated on me. Do you know what I'm saying? You're not just some boyfriend to me, Kurt. You're the first person I trusted with everything. ...And honestly, like, I've already forgiven you for the actual cheating, but just... Cheating hurts people. Why would you not think about hurting me before you did it? That's what I can't stand. I know how you feel about Nick--"
"Felt." Kurt interrupts.
"...I know how you felt about Nick. And really, were you that upset about me smoking?"
"...Only sort of. I just can't handle you--"
"Doing things without you?"
Kurt bites his lip and shrugs. "Yeah. And I don't know. I know Puck used to smoke or whatever, but other than him, I've never known anyone that has. And I'm not really, like, against it--Nick and I will both probably be alcoholics before we're actually legal to drink--but I just didn't think you'd do unhealthy things. Because you don't even really drink anymore. ...And then, I was drunk, and I... I wanted the idea of Nick all summer. ...I-I'm sorry. I don't know why... I know you're the one for me, so I don't know why I keep trying to mess it all up."
"You really think we belong together?"
Kurt's heart sinks. You don't want to be with me, I get it. But yes, when have I not thought that? Even when I'm not with you, I believe that. "...Well, we both know fully well that I'm completely capable of obsessing over you when I'm not what you want, so... Of course, I think we belong together, but that doesn't really mean anything right now, does it?"
Blaine frowns, sliding his hand behind Kurt's neck to massage the back of his scalp lightly. It's something he used to do back in senior year whenever Kurt would get worked up at the end of Breakfast at Tiffany's. He can't remember how many times they watched that while doing homework. However, he can definitely remember how it made him feel to know that Blaine's face was so close to his but he never went to kiss him, and how that would just make him want to cry harder. "It's just... she found the cat... She's so happy now, it's so wonderful..."
Kurt really didn't expect to cry today, but when he feels the pressure in his eyes increasing, a tear inescapably slides down his cheek. Fuck you, tear. He tries to pull back, but Blaine just pulls him into a tight hug and kisses his cheek. Kurt sighs shakily and gives up trying to move away, leaning into him as he grasps at Blaine's back. "Don't hug me. Don't forgive me. Say that you won't."
Blaine hugs him tight still, mumbling into Kurt's ear, "don't you want me to forgive you?"
Kurt feels him rubbing his back, and all he wants to do is kiss him and wrap the two of them up in blankets because it's so cold out for October. Instead, he reaches his hand up to touch Blaine's cheek. "No."
Blaine gives him a puppy pout, smiling softly. However, Kurt knows that smile. It's a smile that says that Blaine agrees with his negative response but just hates seeing him sad, anyway. Here you are, willing to forgive me for something I haven't even really apologized for yet. Don't be the nice guy, Blaine. I can't take it. Kurt glares at him. "Stop it. You're hurt. I don't want you forgiving me. Say that you don't."
Blaine pulls him closer. "But I miss you..."
Fucking stop it, Blaine. Kurt stares him in the eyes. "...I want to cry out of happiness from hearing that, but... I want to be deserving of your missing. I just... remember when you said that we'd break up a bunch in college and then get together in the end after all our mistrials and falling outs?"
Blaine nods.
"Maybe we should just keep to that for now."
Now, it's Blaine's turn to glare. "How can you be the one making all the right decisions all of the sudden? You don't know what I want, Kurt. I don't think you know what you want, either, and I know that for a fact--you were just about to suck my dick for christ's sake! You're being impulsive and selfish, and--why'd you sleep with fucking Nick!? Nick cried to me about Jeff. You haven't done anything other than try to get me to have sex or offer me Death Cab tickets! I don't want things. I just want a hint that you actually feel bad for... for hurting me."
Kurt's heart's beating faster. He feels the shame on his cheeks. He speaks quietly. "I am sorry for cheating on you. I really am. Could you stop with the Nick thing, though? This isn't about him, it's about us. "
"It's always about Nick! You fucking want him? Then go have him."
Kurt steps even further away from him, folding his arms into himself. He will not cry this time, instead, he sighs. "...I was thinking about you when I was having sex with Nick. ...Even last year when I was dating him, I thought about you while we did anything. I just wanted to feel like touching him would get me one step closer to knowing what it'd be like to touch you. But then I found out that touching him is nothing like touching you, and I was reaffirmed that I really can't be with anyone except you. You know how hard that was, Blaine?"
Okay, crying might be a must. His bottom lip starts trembling. "A-And then? Then, I started thinking I could love Nick, because he was nice to me and seemed to like me for exactly who I was and wasn't. He really liked me, I think. And then you fucking had to corner me and tell me how much you wanted me--" his arms stay folded as one finger rests gently on his lip to catch it trembling. Blaine knows this is supposed to be Kurt's ugly cry starting to form, but he just looks really pretty doing it.
"--and then what was I supposed to do? Stay with Nick after you finally realized you liked me back? Deny myself closure of being with the first guy I ever really, really felt anything for? ...But Nick still wanted me after that, and I just, I don't know. I never had people like me before. I didn't know what to do."
Blaine just watches him trying to compose himself. He wants to move towards Kurt, but another part of him wants to stay grounded. He thinks Kurt should have brought all this up a lot sooner if he was going to really cry about it. "...I don't want to insult your performance, because it's really good, but why didn't you tell me any of this sooner? Before you decided to just go with your impulses and cheat on me?"
Kurt breathes hard for a few moments, making sure all the tears go away, because he knows if he tries to speak right now, he won't be able to. He shakes his head slowly. "How dare you think I just wrote a damn monologue for you. I'm not asking you to forgive me, I know I did something wrong, and... I don't think you realize how sorry I am for hurting you. But to be completely honest--since what I told you just a second ago is apparently unbelievable acting bullshit--I wanted to be with Nick that night. I wasn't thinking about you, and you smoking was pretty much an excuse to make my drunken self feel like it would be okay to sleep with him. Do I regret it now? Yes, absolutely. But what I was feeling for him is something I wasn't feeling for you all summer. It was supposed to be an end to things, not the beginning of all this drama."
"...So you were emotionally cheating on me before you physically did?"
"I'm not going to lie to you, yes. Sometimes. Not all the time. But yes. I did think about him. I-I can't tell you how sorry I am... I didn't..." think how you would feel if you ever found out.
Blaine's mind's telling him that his break is most definitely over, but he can't go back in yet. He closes his eyes. "Then why are you saying you love me so much when you also love him?"
"I don't love him, Blaine. Not the way I love you, anyway. Are you kidding me? The only person Nick ever said 'I love you' to is Jeff. He just wants sex from me. That's all anybody fucking wants anymore."
Blaine's jaw clenches. "That's not all I wanted."
"Are you sure? You didn't seem like you were going to reject me sucking you off just a few minutes ago. What changed?"
Blaine sighs and leans back against the brick. This break is really stretching ten minutes... "I miss you, and I miss sex, and..." he shrugs. "...It's because I know how we already are together as friends, and sex is just awesome, okay? I do miss it. But that's not all I want, and I think you know that."
"I don't think I do."
"...Then know it."
"Okay."
How is this conversation going to end? I know I love Kurt, but how are we supposed to make things right if I just feel like I can't be with him yet? Blaine sighs again, and despite his current mood, he laughs slightly. "...I don't know about you, but I feel like killing rainbows and mermaids right now." We can try to be friends again.
Kurt's eyes widen. "Don't kill the mermaids, Blaine!"
Blaine shakes his head. "Too late."
Kurt fake gasps, but then bites his lip, smiling softly. "...Are we feeling too dramatic and angsty, Mr. Anderson?"
Blaine nods and leans into him, making Kurt's heart leap out of its chest when he presses his lips to his neck. Kurt pulls him away gently and looks at him. "...So, where do we stand?"
They both straighten up and sigh at the same time, laughing awkwardly and nervously. "I don't know," Blaine says. "...What sounds like the right thing to do?"
Me getting fucked by you in the back seat of a car. Just kidding. "Well, I don't know about you, but I'm going to go back to the dorm and cry about how much I hurt you until I realize I also hurt myself, and then I think I'm going to go annoy Trevor some more so I have more friends around here to distract myself from doing anything stupid with you."
"...Do you like Trevor?"
Kurt scoffs. "No. Gross. He's a total straight, muscular, jerky frat boy."
Blaine stares harder at him. "...Do you like Trevor?"
Kurt bites his lip. "Well, I can't really like--I just told you how much I love you! I'm not thinking about anything else right now, Blaine, god! Stop trying to make me decide things."
He laughs slightly, putting his head in his hands. "You're unbelievable, Kurt."
"That's what they all tell me."
Blaine smirks and shakes his head. "Okay, so um, you're going to go cry, and I'm going to go be really pissed that I'm at work right now... And then what?"
"You're going to bring me home coffee, and then we'll watch umm... Fight Club?"
Blaine shakes his head. "Too many times."
"Right. Um..."
Blaine sighs. "Kurt, okay. Let's not act like this conversation didn't just happen. Obviously, we're both hurting for sort of different reasons, so let's just promise not to try to get together any time soon, but we'll be civil. All right?"
Kurt bites his lip. "...But I really want to watch Edward Norton right now..."
Blaine glares at him. "Kurt."
"Fine. ...I mean, you're right. Fuck... Blaine's right?"
Blaine nods confidently. "Blaine is right."
Kurt sighs. "Okay. All right. Have fun at work. Are they going to fire you for being out this long?"
Blaine opens the door and laughs slightly. "I don't fucking know. This job is kind of a joke. Laurie loves me though, and she keeps asking me about my sex life, so I think that means she views me as her friend."
Kurt smiles and backs away from the door a little. "Oh, well, that's nice. Maybe she'll make me coffee then."
Blaine stares at him a moment before leaning over to hug him. "I love you, Kurt. Even when I don't."
The butterflies in Kurt's stomach are purposely trying to kill him. "...Thank you."
"...You're welcome."
Kurt watches the door of the coffee shop lock behind Blaine before he lets himself lean against the brick and slide down, not caring if his coat gets messed up. Shit. I really need to talk to Jeff now.
Chapter 4
----
So, how are we feeling right now?
(Before I forget, Kurt's journal.)
I know some of you wanted Kurt to die a horrible death this chapter, and I have written the ending scene to this three times already with him being an emotional wreck in one of them, but this seemed the most appropriate way to keep the story going the way it's supposed to. Kurt and Blaine were friends in the beginning of the actual Great Romances of the 21st Century, and it's time they try to get back to that while Kurt's reflecting more on his own feelings towards everything.
I understand that Glee starts back up on Tuesday (I don't know about you, but I've been listening to the songs on repeat), and so hopefully at least one person continues reading this (that's not Jenny, Star, or me), because that'd be cool. If not, well, when you're bored during the summer hiatus, I invite you back to this story, because it will be buried in cobwebs in this community for your reading pleasure (or pain). =P That being said, if you do want to continue reading the story and you're not already a member of the comm, it'd probably be a good idea to check up on this every now and then, because I will try to keep updates frequent, but no matter what, it'll most definitely get buried by all the one-shots dealing with the current episode/fangirl-worthy discussion posts, etc. Yes.
Next chapter spoiler: Jeff goes to Subway and Kurt hears things from a different perspective.
I encourage this as always:
If you have any questions, concerns, or suggestions, feel free to ask me on here or on Tumblr.
Rating: NC-17
Spoilers: 2x15
Word Count: 5,110
Warnings: College AU, language, explicit sex, underage drinking, triple angst, major Klaine, major Niff, Nick/Kurt, Blaine/Jeff, Kurt/Warbler(OC), drug use, cheating, frat boys
Summary: "Original Songs" never happened, and Kurt and Blaine didn't start dating until their freshman year of college when they were roommates. At the end of their freshman summer, Kurt did something he really regrets, and now it's sophomore year, and bad decisions are about to be made, mostly out of love. It's college, and sometimes, getting a blow job is way more important than studying.
Author's Notes: This is the third addition in the Great Romances of the 21st Century 'verse. Freshman year = GROT21C/Summer before sophomore year = Summer Skin. You do not need to read Summer Skin to be able to read this (I wouldn't). If you want to skip right in and not read either story, here's a summary of both. (It's like SparkNotes!) Also, masterlist here!
star55 and teaboytoaliens beta this story and my life. They are the purple, red, and dark blue Skittles.
Chapter Summary/Quote:
"Sorry, I don't [have sex with] dudes."
Kurt pulls back, feeling insulted. He scoffs. "Well, don't knock it until you've tried it."
Songs for this chapter:
Ending scene of Breakfast at Tiffany's *spoiler* ...It just seems like what Kurt needs to hear, and it's relevant to the last scene, I suppose.
If you want to feel better: "Incy Wincy Spider" by I have no idea. I am not insane, you will see.
Chapter 1 | Chapter 2a | Chapter 2b | Chapter 3a
Blaine said the other night that weed was expensive. If he would opt out on not going to see his favorite emo band of all time because of weed, there is something terribly wrong, Kurt thinks. Instead of reasoning with Blaine and letting him spend his money on what he wants, Kurt decides it's finally time to intervene. Even if Blaine won't let him be his boyfriend or really even his friend, Kurt will make Blaine his business anyway. It's the right thing to do. ...Or maybe he knows it's not, but he doesn't know how to function without Blaine in his life anymore, so this will have to do.
Right now, however, he's getting drunk at the frat house. Though, according to Kurt's reasoning process, it's for a good reason. Excuses, excuses. Nick retired early--retired as in said he was too tired to have sex. Strangely enough, Kurt's okay with this. He's starting to understand the difference between wanting to have sex with Nick and wanting Nick. He knows who he wants, and his name starts with a letter much farther up the alphabet.
Okay, back to the point: Kurt's hyper. He's on a mission. A mission of missions. He hasn't been on a mission in a while, but when it comes to helping Blaine, his body feels intense and his adrenaline rushes. Or maybe that's just how he feels walking up to an intimidating hot guy when he's drunk.
He walks up to Trevor who's currently at one of the kegs, refilling his beer. "Hiii..." Kurt says sweetly. Trevor turns his head and smirks, leaning over the keg to fill his cup and then stands straight back up. Kurt feels weird having to look up at him. I need to stop falling for short guys.
"Hey, love. 'Sup?"
Kurt smiles and leans in closer to him. Trevor raises his eyebrow. It's now or never, Hummel. For Blaine! "Hey, Trevie, you know Blaine?"
"Who?"
"...Blaine."
Trevor sips his beer and has to think for a minute. "Oh, yeah. Blaine. He still has my iPod, tell him I want it back. How do you know him?"
Kurt stares at him dumbfounded. "...He's my best friend. He's, well, he was my boyfriend. ...You were sitting with him last week when I went to pick him up. He was really high and freaking out."
Trevor's laughs, looking like this is brand new information. "Um, yeah, I don't remember that, but okay. That makes pretty good sense though, because I was wondering why Nick knows Blaine and how they both know you... I just figured you were all fucking, though. I don't know."
"What? No. What? ...Well, we knew Nick in high school kind of, and he was my first boyfriend, but then I--" he doesn't feel like telling this story right now "--But wait, why don't you remember that I know Blaine? That was a week ago."
He shrugs, sipping his drink. "I was on acid." He leans against the wall, looking out at the crowd, not looking in Kurt's eyes very much. He's playing the cool douchebag guy. Kurt doesn't have time to evaluate other people's life choices right now, though, and he's finally starting to realize that college really does force you to meet different types of people you only thought existed in films. Fascinating. He pokes Trevor's arm. Oh my god, it's like... there. A muscular arm. Sex. ...Okay, no, fine.
"Hey, you. Hey, I have a proposition to make. You need to look at me first. Face me, even."
Trevor looks down at him and smiles, turning his body to face Kurt's. He's wearing a slim v-neck that nicely displays how much he must work out, and it makes Kurt feel feelings. For a guy that apparently does a lot of drugs, he sure looks... cool. He stands as straight as he can, trying to appear as confident and cocky as his proposition sounds. "So, hey, I was wondering... I'll have sex with you if you stop selling pot to Blaine. Sound like a plan?"
The taller boy's eyebrows furrow and he puts a hand on Kurt's back. "What are you talking about?"
An exaggerated, drunken sigh. "...Blaine's been through a lot with drugs so far, and I know you're probably like... Mr. Druggie, whatever, and that's fine, but it's not for Blaine. He won't stop, and he's wasting his money and brain. And um..." Blaine's brain, ha ha. Say that ten times fast. "...As I was saying... He's a really good singer, and I need him to be in the school musical with me in the winter, so he needs to stop smoking for that reason, too. I need you to stop selling it to him, and in exchange for your lost customer, I will be your sex slave for a night. Or a week. Or, like, a month. But no more than that. Is that fair?"
Trevor grins and presses his hand further into Kurt as he laughs. "What!?"
Kurt bites his lip and thinks he made the right decision. This guy's got a nice smile, not to mention how good he probably is at fucking in showers... Okay, stop.
"Deal?"
Trevor smirks and leans his head down to Kurt's ear. He's definitely been drinking, but he seems more composed than Kurt. "Sorry, I don't fuck dudes."
Kurt pulls back, feeling insulted. He scoffs. S'cuse me? "Well, don't knock it until you've tried it. God. Really?"
Trevor continues smirking. "Really."
My gaydar has betrayed me... There's no way. "No, I have terrific gaydar--okay, maybe not so much. But you definitely want me."
Trevor's smirk softens until it completely fades away, but he lifts his beer cup up so Kurt can't really see his facial expression anymore. He glances towards the party and then looks back down to Kurt with a less amused facial expression. His hand lifts the back of Kurt's shirt up a little, but then just like that, he's backing away from him. He smirks softly again. "If this is your way of trying to get in my pants, you'll have to be more creative. Though, I do appreciate the effort. ...But Blaine's a big boy... He can decide for himself what to do." He winks and then walks away.
Feeling embarrassed, Kurt decides he should leave the party now. His gaydar might be malfunctioning, but that hand that lifted up his shirt says otherwise. It's on, frat boy.
He texts Nick. Hey, can I come up tonight? I just don't want to go back to the dorm.
----
Nick's in his bed with his laptop on his stomach. He was researching for a paper, but then he accidentally clicked on a porn link, and then his hand magically found his dick, so yeah. Much more interesting than researching for an art paper. The main boy in the video has light shaggy blond hair, so obviously, Nick's not thinking about Jeff. He's not putting his laptop off to the side and turning his light off, and he's definitely not lying his head down on his pillow to get more comfortable. He's definitely not vividly imagining Jeff's mouth on his cock, his head bobbing up and down, or feeling his tongue swirl around the head of his cock.
He hears his phone vibrate on his homework desk, and he knows that it's probably from Kurt, but he can't bring himself to want to do anything with him anymore. Not right now, anyway. He can't stop thinking about Jeff, and Jeff hasn't even tried to contact him in a week, so he feels even more like shit.
He misses him, but last time David yelled at him through text, he got the information that Jeff is now in a band with David, Adam, and some other guy. He's proud of him--proud that Jeff's finally doing what he's always wanted to do in college, and now, he doesn't need Nick's approval to feel happy.
Nick definitely doesn't come as he pictures Jeff moaning his name.
~*~
The theater club meets inside the college's main theater every Tuesday at noon. That's where Kurt is right now. The professor that runs the club is better at forming group discussion and actually listening than Mr Schuester used to, but Kurt doesn't feel like this club is as close yet as New Directions was to him. Obviously, it's only the first meeting, but he doesn't feel that immediate spark that he wanted to feel. Maybe it will be there in time. He's going to try to remember to tell Blaine to come here. Maybe they can join the glee club, and so can Nick, and then Blaine can take it over...
As he's walking back, he decides to take the long walk back to his dorm, because it's pretty warm for an early October day. The leaves are changing colors finally, and the random and numerous types of trees are nice to look at. He's hoping Blaine's class will end and then he'll accidentally spot him outside of the English building so maybe they'll get lunch together.
However, he changes his course of action when he sees Trevor sitting in the grass with a group of people not fifty feet away. They're in a circle, one guy is talking with his hands, and they all look very concentrated and absorbed in what the speaker is saying. Interesting. Kurt walks towards the group but decides to walk behind Trevor's back so the boy won't see him coming.
He hears the names 'Descartes' and 'Kant' being used, and even though Kurt doesn't know who Kant is, he for sure knows from his time of stalking Chicago on Google Earth that Descartes is the name of a coffee shop in The Loop, and Descartes is a famous philosopher or something. It must be a philosophy club. Trevor has hobbies other than being hot and doing drugs. Interesting. Very, very interesting.
Kurt happily sits down next to Trevor, smiling at the boy that is now staring at him hard. He speaks when there's a moment of silence after someone talks. "Yeah, Socrates' and Plato's relationship always interested me. It's good to know that everyone influential back in that time were all kind of gay. Right, Trevor?"
Trevor turns to him, baffled, and someone tries to argue with Kurt, but Kurt's already standing up and smiling. "Whoops. Wrong club. Sorry, guys." Trevor looks a little annoyed, but when Kurt turns a last time to look at him, he's smiling playfully. That's right. He gets twenty feet away before he feels Trevor's hand on his shoulder, pulling him around. Kurt smiles. "Oh, hi..."
Trevor just looks at him blankly. "I don't sell to Blaine. I never have. I smoked him down once and then gave him some of a weed brownie another time. That's it. ...I don't know if he knows any other dealers, but I honestly don't sell him anything. He did ask me the other day what incense smelled like weed, so... Maybe he's lying to you."
"...Are you lying so I don't try to disrupt your little club again? You didn't even remember who Blaine was last night."
Trevor smirks and pats Kurt's cheek before walking back towards the club. "I would never lie to you, love. I'd go question your boy if I were you."
Kurt just stares off. He has to talk to Blaine.
----
He texts Blaine ten minutes later to ask where he is around campus. Blaine says he has work in twenty minutes. Oh, really? Kurt will go to Blaine's work then.
He goes back to the dorm first to drop off his messenger bag and to change his outfit. He's not sure why, but if he's going to try to get the truth out of Blaine, he's going to look good doing it. He decides on tight black pants and an opened red jacket with a white button up shirt to wear underneath it. Putting on a skinny black tie and his favorite black boots to complete the look, he now feels like he's ready for anything. It took him about fifteen minutes to decide on it, so now Blaine's been at work for probably ten minutes. He wants to catch him on his break, but he's too anxious to wait to go to the coffee shop.
When he gets there, he immediately sees Blaine working the cash register. He smiles at him and waits in line behind a couple customers, bursting with curiosity, even though he knows he can't just ask him in front of everyone "HEY, DID YOU LIE ABOUT SMOKING WEED?" So, he'll wait until Blaine's on break and then ask him for the truth out back. He orders a drink and is surprised when Blaine gives him his discount. It almost makes him feel bad about questioning him soon.
"When can you go on a break?"
Blaine looks at him curiously, but then notices it's not going to get any busier right now. "I can go on one in ten minutes." Kurt nods and goes out back behind the shop to wait for Blaine to 'smoke his cigarette' on his break. The back of the shop faces the back of other shops, but it's all quiet and unoccupied by people. Kurt thinks it's relaxing.
When he gets out, Blaine immediately takes his apron off and puts it on top of some empty crate boxes. It's warmer than it was this morning, but the colder air still makes Kurt's cheeks look slightly pink. Suddenly, he happens to notice that Blaine's not lighting a smoke like he should be. He asks where his cigarette is.
Blaine blushes as he walks over to him, leaning against the cool brick. "Oh, yeah, um, I have to go buy some more. I smoked my last one this morning."
Kurt nods, deciding to get to the point before Blaine has to get off break. "So um, who do you buy from? ...I have a friend that needs a new hookup."
Blaine's eyes widen. "Really? Um, well... You know Nick's guy across the hall?"
"Trevor?"
"Yeah, him."
Kurt stares at him. "...Really?" He gets closer to Blaine.
Blaine gets nervous. "...Yeah?" He thinks that Kurt looks really attractive right now, and it makes it harder for him to make up more lies when Kurt's cheeks look flushed from the cold and it's making his lips look redder, too. Don't think things.
"Blaine, Trevor said he doesn't sell to you. I asked him."
"Why'd you ask him!?"
Kurt gets closer to him still. "...Because I'm worried about you. I know you don't want to talk to me anymore, but you didn't have to lie. Are you smoking pot at all?"
It takes Blaine a long time to want to reply, but then, he really doesn't want to lie anymore. It's been exhausting him. "...No. I haven't since that one night."
"Then what do you do with your film friends every night?" Kurt doesn't even notice how close he is to Blaine until he's speaking softly and he thinks he sees Blaine glancing at his lips.
Blaine shrugs. "...Well, they get high, I just hang out. I make them blow the smoke on my coat so it smells more like it though."
"..." Kurt stares at him. "So you really don't want to be close with me anymore? You lied and went to such great lengths to keep me away?"
Blaine frowns and steps towards him once more, his hand daring to reach out for the other boy's side. "Kurt... It's not like that. I just--" Kurt looks really good in those tight jeans and his ass looks great. Kurt looks hurt. Blaine can't take it.
His hand slides to the back of Kurt's neck and he kisses him hard without thinking. Time, undoubtedly, stops. They stay like that for a minute, feeling each others' lips for the first time in over a month. It feels surprisingly right and it makes Kurt want to cry out of happiness without breaking his lips from Blaine's. They start making out hard, and then Blaine's turning them around, pressing Kurt against the brick and grinding into him as their tongues battle for dominance. Kurt usually wins, but not this time. Blaine's wanted this much longer, he thinks.
Kurt pulls back after he can't breathe anymore and immediately drops to his knees. He's about to yank Blaine's pants down, reassuring himself with Blaine's dick in his mouth that they'll get back together, but then... You look stupid. Get up. What are you doing? He slowly looks up at Blaine who looks more than ready for Kurt to pull his pants down and take him in his mouth, but no. Kurt groans in frustration and kneels back off the ground. His hands fly to the top of his head. "Shit, no! What am I doing? What am I doing, Blaine?"
Blaine bites his lip and just stares at him.
Kurt frowns and leans his face into the wall of the cool brick. "Why'd you lie to me? If you wanted to say 'hey, Kurt, I hate you', you could have just done that instead of lie."
Blaine sighs and leans his head against the wall facing Kurt, trying to forget about all his spontaneous sexual fantasies that just got denied. It's probably best we don't get caught and I don't lose my job. That would suck... more than dick. Right now, though, he's starting to feel like this is going to be an open conversation with an undetermined ending. It's just time for all the truth they both could possibly give each other.
"You cheated on me. Do you know what I'm saying? You're not just some boyfriend to me, Kurt. You're the first person I trusted with everything. ...And honestly, like, I've already forgiven you for the actual cheating, but just... Cheating hurts people. Why would you not think about hurting me before you did it? That's what I can't stand. I know how you feel about Nick--"
"Felt." Kurt interrupts.
"...I know how you felt about Nick. And really, were you that upset about me smoking?"
"...Only sort of. I just can't handle you--"
"Doing things without you?"
Kurt bites his lip and shrugs. "Yeah. And I don't know. I know Puck used to smoke or whatever, but other than him, I've never known anyone that has. And I'm not really, like, against it--Nick and I will both probably be alcoholics before we're actually legal to drink--but I just didn't think you'd do unhealthy things. Because you don't even really drink anymore. ...And then, I was drunk, and I... I wanted the idea of Nick all summer. ...I-I'm sorry. I don't know why... I know you're the one for me, so I don't know why I keep trying to mess it all up."
"You really think we belong together?"
Kurt's heart sinks. You don't want to be with me, I get it. But yes, when have I not thought that? Even when I'm not with you, I believe that. "...Well, we both know fully well that I'm completely capable of obsessing over you when I'm not what you want, so... Of course, I think we belong together, but that doesn't really mean anything right now, does it?"
Blaine frowns, sliding his hand behind Kurt's neck to massage the back of his scalp lightly. It's something he used to do back in senior year whenever Kurt would get worked up at the end of Breakfast at Tiffany's. He can't remember how many times they watched that while doing homework. However, he can definitely remember how it made him feel to know that Blaine's face was so close to his but he never went to kiss him, and how that would just make him want to cry harder. "It's just... she found the cat... She's so happy now, it's so wonderful..."
Kurt really didn't expect to cry today, but when he feels the pressure in his eyes increasing, a tear inescapably slides down his cheek. Fuck you, tear. He tries to pull back, but Blaine just pulls him into a tight hug and kisses his cheek. Kurt sighs shakily and gives up trying to move away, leaning into him as he grasps at Blaine's back. "Don't hug me. Don't forgive me. Say that you won't."
Blaine hugs him tight still, mumbling into Kurt's ear, "don't you want me to forgive you?"
Kurt feels him rubbing his back, and all he wants to do is kiss him and wrap the two of them up in blankets because it's so cold out for October. Instead, he reaches his hand up to touch Blaine's cheek. "No."
Blaine gives him a puppy pout, smiling softly. However, Kurt knows that smile. It's a smile that says that Blaine agrees with his negative response but just hates seeing him sad, anyway. Here you are, willing to forgive me for something I haven't even really apologized for yet. Don't be the nice guy, Blaine. I can't take it. Kurt glares at him. "Stop it. You're hurt. I don't want you forgiving me. Say that you don't."
Blaine pulls him closer. "But I miss you..."
Fucking stop it, Blaine. Kurt stares him in the eyes. "...I want to cry out of happiness from hearing that, but... I want to be deserving of your missing. I just... remember when you said that we'd break up a bunch in college and then get together in the end after all our mistrials and falling outs?"
Blaine nods.
"Maybe we should just keep to that for now."
Now, it's Blaine's turn to glare. "How can you be the one making all the right decisions all of the sudden? You don't know what I want, Kurt. I don't think you know what you want, either, and I know that for a fact--you were just about to suck my dick for christ's sake! You're being impulsive and selfish, and--why'd you sleep with fucking Nick!? Nick cried to me about Jeff. You haven't done anything other than try to get me to have sex or offer me Death Cab tickets! I don't want things. I just want a hint that you actually feel bad for... for hurting me."
Kurt's heart's beating faster. He feels the shame on his cheeks. He speaks quietly. "I am sorry for cheating on you. I really am. Could you stop with the Nick thing, though? This isn't about him, it's about us. "
"It's always about Nick! You fucking want him? Then go have him."
Kurt steps even further away from him, folding his arms into himself. He will not cry this time, instead, he sighs. "...I was thinking about you when I was having sex with Nick. ...Even last year when I was dating him, I thought about you while we did anything. I just wanted to feel like touching him would get me one step closer to knowing what it'd be like to touch you. But then I found out that touching him is nothing like touching you, and I was reaffirmed that I really can't be with anyone except you. You know how hard that was, Blaine?"
Okay, crying might be a must. His bottom lip starts trembling. "A-And then? Then, I started thinking I could love Nick, because he was nice to me and seemed to like me for exactly who I was and wasn't. He really liked me, I think. And then you fucking had to corner me and tell me how much you wanted me--" his arms stay folded as one finger rests gently on his lip to catch it trembling. Blaine knows this is supposed to be Kurt's ugly cry starting to form, but he just looks really pretty doing it.
"--and then what was I supposed to do? Stay with Nick after you finally realized you liked me back? Deny myself closure of being with the first guy I ever really, really felt anything for? ...But Nick still wanted me after that, and I just, I don't know. I never had people like me before. I didn't know what to do."
Blaine just watches him trying to compose himself. He wants to move towards Kurt, but another part of him wants to stay grounded. He thinks Kurt should have brought all this up a lot sooner if he was going to really cry about it. "...I don't want to insult your performance, because it's really good, but why didn't you tell me any of this sooner? Before you decided to just go with your impulses and cheat on me?"
Kurt breathes hard for a few moments, making sure all the tears go away, because he knows if he tries to speak right now, he won't be able to. He shakes his head slowly. "How dare you think I just wrote a damn monologue for you. I'm not asking you to forgive me, I know I did something wrong, and... I don't think you realize how sorry I am for hurting you. But to be completely honest--since what I told you just a second ago is apparently unbelievable acting bullshit--I wanted to be with Nick that night. I wasn't thinking about you, and you smoking was pretty much an excuse to make my drunken self feel like it would be okay to sleep with him. Do I regret it now? Yes, absolutely. But what I was feeling for him is something I wasn't feeling for you all summer. It was supposed to be an end to things, not the beginning of all this drama."
"...So you were emotionally cheating on me before you physically did?"
"I'm not going to lie to you, yes. Sometimes. Not all the time. But yes. I did think about him. I-I can't tell you how sorry I am... I didn't..." think how you would feel if you ever found out.
Blaine's mind's telling him that his break is most definitely over, but he can't go back in yet. He closes his eyes. "Then why are you saying you love me so much when you also love him?"
"I don't love him, Blaine. Not the way I love you, anyway. Are you kidding me? The only person Nick ever said 'I love you' to is Jeff. He just wants sex from me. That's all anybody fucking wants anymore."
Blaine's jaw clenches. "That's not all I wanted."
"Are you sure? You didn't seem like you were going to reject me sucking you off just a few minutes ago. What changed?"
Blaine sighs and leans back against the brick. This break is really stretching ten minutes... "I miss you, and I miss sex, and..." he shrugs. "...It's because I know how we already are together as friends, and sex is just awesome, okay? I do miss it. But that's not all I want, and I think you know that."
"I don't think I do."
"...Then know it."
"Okay."
How is this conversation going to end? I know I love Kurt, but how are we supposed to make things right if I just feel like I can't be with him yet? Blaine sighs again, and despite his current mood, he laughs slightly. "...I don't know about you, but I feel like killing rainbows and mermaids right now." We can try to be friends again.
Kurt's eyes widen. "Don't kill the mermaids, Blaine!"
Blaine shakes his head. "Too late."
Kurt fake gasps, but then bites his lip, smiling softly. "...Are we feeling too dramatic and angsty, Mr. Anderson?"
Blaine nods and leans into him, making Kurt's heart leap out of its chest when he presses his lips to his neck. Kurt pulls him away gently and looks at him. "...So, where do we stand?"
They both straighten up and sigh at the same time, laughing awkwardly and nervously. "I don't know," Blaine says. "...What sounds like the right thing to do?"
Me getting fucked by you in the back seat of a car. Just kidding. "Well, I don't know about you, but I'm going to go back to the dorm and cry about how much I hurt you until I realize I also hurt myself, and then I think I'm going to go annoy Trevor some more so I have more friends around here to distract myself from doing anything stupid with you."
"...Do you like Trevor?"
Kurt scoffs. "No. Gross. He's a total straight, muscular, jerky frat boy."
Blaine stares harder at him. "...Do you like Trevor?"
Kurt bites his lip. "Well, I can't really like--I just told you how much I love you! I'm not thinking about anything else right now, Blaine, god! Stop trying to make me decide things."
He laughs slightly, putting his head in his hands. "You're unbelievable, Kurt."
"That's what they all tell me."
Blaine smirks and shakes his head. "Okay, so um, you're going to go cry, and I'm going to go be really pissed that I'm at work right now... And then what?"
"You're going to bring me home coffee, and then we'll watch umm... Fight Club?"
Blaine shakes his head. "Too many times."
"Right. Um..."
Blaine sighs. "Kurt, okay. Let's not act like this conversation didn't just happen. Obviously, we're both hurting for sort of different reasons, so let's just promise not to try to get together any time soon, but we'll be civil. All right?"
Kurt bites his lip. "...But I really want to watch Edward Norton right now..."
Blaine glares at him. "Kurt."
"Fine. ...I mean, you're right. Fuck... Blaine's right?"
Blaine nods confidently. "Blaine is right."
Kurt sighs. "Okay. All right. Have fun at work. Are they going to fire you for being out this long?"
Blaine opens the door and laughs slightly. "I don't fucking know. This job is kind of a joke. Laurie loves me though, and she keeps asking me about my sex life, so I think that means she views me as her friend."
Kurt smiles and backs away from the door a little. "Oh, well, that's nice. Maybe she'll make me coffee then."
Blaine stares at him a moment before leaning over to hug him. "I love you, Kurt. Even when I don't."
The butterflies in Kurt's stomach are purposely trying to kill him. "...Thank you."
"...You're welcome."
Kurt watches the door of the coffee shop lock behind Blaine before he lets himself lean against the brick and slide down, not caring if his coat gets messed up. Shit. I really need to talk to Jeff now.
Chapter 4
----
So, how are we feeling right now?
(Before I forget, Kurt's journal.)
I know some of you wanted Kurt to die a horrible death this chapter, and I have written the ending scene to this three times already with him being an emotional wreck in one of them, but this seemed the most appropriate way to keep the story going the way it's supposed to. Kurt and Blaine were friends in the beginning of the actual Great Romances of the 21st Century, and it's time they try to get back to that while Kurt's reflecting more on his own feelings towards everything.
I understand that Glee starts back up on Tuesday (I don't know about you, but I've been listening to the songs on repeat), and so hopefully at least one person continues reading this (that's not Jenny, Star, or me), because that'd be cool. If not, well, when you're bored during the summer hiatus, I invite you back to this story, because it will be buried in cobwebs in this community for your reading pleasure (or pain). =P That being said, if you do want to continue reading the story and you're not already a member of the comm, it'd probably be a good idea to check up on this every now and then, because I will try to keep updates frequent, but no matter what, it'll most definitely get buried by all the one-shots dealing with the current episode/fangirl-worthy discussion posts, etc. Yes.
Next chapter spoiler: Jeff goes to Subway and Kurt hears things from a different perspective.
I encourage this as always:
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