Thank you for taking an interest in Aperture Science. Located underneath a conveniently-placed cut will be information regarding the history of Aperture Science its facilities, and personnel. Please be advised that prolonged exposure to the cut, and any noticeable taste of blood, is not part of any test.

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( HISTORY )

Hello, and welcome to Aperture Science, your trusted friend in science. Perhaps you have taken an interest in our esteemed laboratories, or wish to participate in our esteemed Enrichment Center activities. Please be advised that the Enrichment Center may require you to perform simple tasks such as locating an exit. These simple tasks may be ( Read more... )

[The video clicks on and struggles to focus on the one blue light shining directly in the camera lens before it pulls back to reveal what looks like a large robotic eye. For being an eye, it's very friendly and personable.]
Ah! Good! There we go. All better now. Hullo! Um... This is just a message to.. the outside world from in here. Oh, well, I ( Read more... )

[The robotic voice comes over the speakers as it had a couple weeks ago, this time voice only.]
I don't know what happened back there. It was as though someone made me something of a homicidal maniac there for a while.

Perhaps I did go a bit overboard painting the walls with the homeless. Although red was a nice color, I think I much prefer the ( Read more... )

[There is a flash from the screen like a camera turning onto a live feed. There are only bits and pieces of flashes from various points in the facility, but everything inside has a distinctly red glow about it, the source seeming to come from underneath the panels on the wall. Distorting the color, however, in nearly every one of these shots is a ( Read more... )

As some of our constituents are aware, we here at Aperture Science like to keep our investors and potential customers up-to-date information on investment opportunities and products.

Some of you may remember last fall when we unveiled our patented Propulsion Gel. Unfortunately, due to unforeseen consequences, sales in this product have not been as ( Read more... )

As a friendly reminder from Aperture Science, we would like to remind you, the public, to take care in these summer months to remember your sunblock, which will aid in blocking out the sun's harmful UV rays.

If you would like to participate in sun-based testing for a top-secret scientific development, please stop by Aperture Science to sign up for ( Read more... )

[Every few blocks on the streets outside is a friendly-looking turret somehow balancing a plate of chocolate cupcakes with a sign attached that reads "FREE CUPCAKES". These are for everyone. EVERYONE. Failure to comply with the sign will result in frosting being fired at you from its mounted guns.]

We here at Aperture Science sometimes like to extend to our loyal customers and potential investors, a look at some of our promising products and investment opportunities.

Here with more is Aperture Science founder Cave Johnson.

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While there seems to be an adequate amount of good feeling in the air, we here at Aperture Science would like to remind you and your loved ones that during the upcoming holiday season, there is no better gift, than the gift of knowledge. By donating one or all of your kidneys toward the Aperture Science Trust Fund for Girls, you are helping to ( Read more... )