Fic: All Expenses Paid (NCIS/Transformers 2009 Crossover)
Title: All Expenses Paid
Author: Gixxer Pilot
Summary: NCIS/Transformers 2009 cross. Abby was more than upset she wasn’t allowed to visit Diego Garcia with the rest of the team. When the director forces her to take some of her backlogged vacation, Gibbs finally gives her the chance.
Author’s (Excessively Lengthy) Note: This story is a direct spin off/sequel to my multi-chaptered casefile fic, Alienated. You don’t have to read that one first, though if you did, it might help with some of the semi-minor details. (Like why Gibbs knows Optimus Prime and what kind of trouble DiNozzo got himself into with Skids and Mudflap.) Plus, I’m rather fond of it, and I like feedback. Anyway, I was told in no uncertain terms that I needed to give Abby more of an appearance than just in the epilogue of Alienated. I agreed, since she is the one that believes in ghosts, aliens and things that go bump in the night. I’ve also got the location of Diego Garcia correct in this fic.
For those of you that have read any of TenshiofLight21’s fic, there’s also a little nod to one of her stories here. The story takes place post Revenge of the Fallen in the Transformers verse and in the current season of NCIS.
Chapter 1
Abby Sciuto sprinted into her lab as fast as her five-inch platform boots would allow. Hurriedly flipping on lights and trying desperately to avoid smashing her legs on tables, she practically threw down her lunch pail and umbrella in her haste. Leaning over her desk, one black painted fingernail mashed the ‘speaker’ button before the call went to her voicemail.
“Hello?!” Abby answered breathlessly.
A flat monotone met her ears as the voice on the other end of the connection wafted through the speaker. “Miss Sciuto? The director would like to see you in his office.”
Abby scrunched up her face still panting quietly, still moderately winded from her sprint through the rain and in the door of her lab. “Like, right now? I literally just ran through the door.”
“Yes, I can tell, and right now,” came the bored response.
“Well did he say why? I have work to do,” Abby replied, indignant at the unnecessarily rude tone from the director’s assistant.
“No, Director Vance didn’t say, and it’s not my place to ask. He said meeting, Miss Sciuto, and right now.”
Abby growled unpleasantly. “All right! Tell him to keep his pants on. I’ll be up in a minute.” Grumbling at the less than wonderful start to her day, she moved about her office to properly store her personal effects. Tossing her lunch in the refrigeration unit outside her office, Abby walked to the elevators to get to the main floor and gave a cold nod to the Director’s assistant as she passed by.
“Ah, Miss Scuito. Right on time.” Leon Vance leaned back in his chair, the ever-present toothpick sticking out of the right side of his mouth. Abby glanced down to see her employee file from personnel under Vance’s folded hands. “Take a seat, please.”
Vance motioned for her to sit, and Abby pulled out the chair in front of his desk. “What do you need, Director Vance?”
“How have you been, Abby? Honestly,” Leon asked, looking Abby directly in the eye.
Her dark brows furrowing, the forensic tech responded, “Fine, now that Ziva’s back and we know she’s okay.”
Vance nodded. “Good. I wanted to ask you about that. You and Ziva weren’t particularly close when she arrived from Mossad. I hear you even had a slapping fight in the bullpen.”
Abby chewed her lip in discomfort. “Well, of course I didn’t like her. Kate had just been killed, and I thought Ziva was coming in to replace her right away. So yeah, forgive me if I didn’t just accept her with open arms, but we eventually became friends.”
The Director held out a placating hand. “It’s okay, Abby. I understand people change.”
She smiled. “Good. Now, what is this about, Director?”
“Well, HR has recently brought to my attention a very serious matter concerning you,” Vance replied, deadpanned.
Abby’s brain whirled and spun, trying to think of anything that Vance could possibly be holding over her head. The Director’s stony face gave her no clue as to what the ‘situation’ was and her heart began pounding in her chest of its own volition. This was worse than JAG cross-examination! She blurted out the first thing that came to her mind. “Are you firing me?”
For his part, Vance let out a short laugh and hid his surprise well. “Good God, no. I wouldn’t do that. You’re the best forensic scientist in D.C. and you knock the snot out of those morons at the Bureau. No Abby, someone would have to pry you away from me, kicking and screaming.”
Abby inwardly beamed. It was nice to be wanted. She was still confused, however. “Well, if you’re not firing me, then why am I here?”
“Are you happy, Abby?”
Abby fixed Vance with a stare that clearly said, ‘Well, duh I’m happy!’ Dumbstruck, she voiced, “I’m still here, aren’t I? I love NCIS and I love the team.”
“Do you ever feel like you need a break?”
“Of course I do, especially when I have McGee, DiNozzo, Ziva, Gibbs and Ducky all coming to me with forensics of some kind that need a rush or are top priority. Do you know how rich I’d be if I had a dollar for every time one of them says, ‘Top of the pile, Abby’. It gets to me sometimes, but I handle it.” Her words were the honest truth. Abby knew the team loved her like a sister or a father, but sometimes all the demands made of her threatened to swallow her whole. It was in those rare moments she was glad for the camaraderie of the team.
Vance shifted in his chair, crossing his right leg over his left knee. “And that’s exactly what has been brought to my attention. Apparently, you have over three months of vacation on the books that needs to be used up in some way or another.”
Abby raised an eyebrow. “And?”
“And I’m hoping you’d be agreeable to taking a week off, Abby.”
Abby shook her head. “Wait. Just because I said I’m sometimes stressed out doesn’t mean I need to abandon my lab and my job. I love it here, I love my job, I love my lab and I’m doing just fine.”
“I know that, but I can’t reason with HR on issues like this,” Vance answered.
“Why not? You’re the director of NCIS! Can’t you just pay it out or something? I have work to do, and a lab to run.” The tone in her voice left no room for argument.
“No, I can’t. Not that much. I’ve gotten HR to agree pay out nineteen days, but the remaining five you need to take. You do that, you’re down to three months on the books, and HR is off my back,” Vance answered, barely restraining the urge to roll his eyes at the resident bean counters on the third floor. From his response, it was clear that making his employees take vacations was certainly not preferable to catching terrorists and dirty murders.
“No. I don’t want to go. Everything is just getting back into place and things are feeling normal again. Just no! No!” Abby’s voice was pitching higher with each sentence.
“Abby, I’ve done everything I can. You need to take this vacation. Look, if it makes you feel any better, the rest of your team is doing the same. Even Gibbs.” Vance mentally prayed that the meeting with the former Gunny went well. He had no aspirations to die like his predecessor in a bloody gunfight. At least Shepherd went down swinging for a good reason. “I’ll find someone from an agency you trust to watch your lab. Nothing will happen.”
“No!”
“Abby…”
“NO!”
“I’m going to make it an order, then you won’t have a choice. Don’t make me go that far, Miss Scuito!” Vance threatened.
Abby huffed, her arms crossed defensively over her chest and a dangerous scowl, probably one learned from Gibbs, plastered all over her face. After a good twenty seconds of staring contest, Abby’s features flickered. “Fine. I’ll do it, but on one condition.”
Vance raised an eyebrow. Trust Abby to start naming her terms with the director of NCIS. “And that is?”
“There better not be any creepy stalker psychos in my lab when I get back, or heads will be rolling!”
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Some days, Abby knew she could be the dumbest smart person on the face of the planet. When Vance had come to her and all but forced her to take a week’s vacation away from her lab, she’d gone reluctantly. Now, she was wondering what the hell she’d agreed to. The Director had asked her if her passport was current, and because she was attached to a federal agency, it was. He told her that there was a nifty little place in the Indian Ocean she absolutely must see, and that he’d already arranged transportation and lodging. Too pissed at the moment to care, she’d acquiesced; only later regretful she hadn’t grabbed more details.
As the plane descended through the clouds, Abby could clearly make out the workings of a military base. Abby growled in her seat. ‘Vance sent me to a military base in the middle of the Indian Ocean. I hope he knows I’m one of the few people on Earth that can kill him and leave not one trace of forensic evidence.’
By the time the plane landed and she started to disembark, had someone offered up a gun, Abby probably would have used it. Stepping down off the stairs and on to the tarmac, she took her offered bag from the young Private working ground crew with wordless thanks. Abby shielded her eyes from the bright sun with one hand and surveyed her surroundings for her week’s stay. Squinting in the distance, she made out two vehicles driving toward her. One was a black Topkick, and the other was gigantic Peterbilt with flames.
Realization struck her like a ton of bricks. Abby squeaked in delight as her eyes registered the sight before her. Dropping her bag, she ran toward the approaching vehicles as they stopped to transform in front of her. Optimus chuckled a deep laugh as Abby’s dark pigtails bounced happily off her shoulders. Dropping to his customary one knee, Prime said, “Abby Sciuto. Welcome to Diego Garcia, NEST’s permanent headquarters.”
Words failing her, Abby settled on wrapping her arms in as big of a hug as her limited human size would allow around Prime’s ankle joint. “Oh my God! I had no idea!”
“That was the plan,” Ironhide added from her left.
Abby rolled her eyes good-naturedly in the Topkick’s general direction. She doubted he’d ever been anything other than a smart ass his entire life cycle. Abby reached to give Prime another hug, but abruptly remembered her sexual harassment training. She pulled her arms back quickly and craned her neck as far up as it would go. “I’m sorry. Permission to hug? Stupid DOD stuff, making me ask before I hug.”
Prime smirked. He and the landed Autobots had recently been forced to endure the same workplace sensitivity training as per Department of Defense policy. Apparently, even being a sentient alien robot from the planet Cybertron did not excuse one from having to learn how to be politically correct. The course had ended with predictable but nearly disastrous results. The Autobot commander wondered idly if NCIS had the same problem and made a mental note to inquire about it.
“We heard of your vacation woes, and I thought it might be nice for you to come visit us again. I know you didn’t get the amount of time you would have liked the last time we saw each other,” Prime explained.
Smiling so big she thought her face might break, Abby momentarily set aside her plans to murder the director of NCIS slowly and deliberately. Perhaps Leon Vance wasn’t such a moronic toothpick after all, and Abby resolved to be nicer to him. Even though it was only October, it could be her New Years resolution, and maybe the first of them she’d actually keep. Smiling, Abby hefted her bag over her shoulder accepted the ride from Optimus to the human side of Diego Garcia.
Though she didn’t know what the Autobots had on the menu for her visit, she knew it was certainly going to be one hell of a week.
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Next Up: Abby gets accustomed to the base and meets Skids and Mudflap. Don’t expect another update on this story until after the new year. I’m working on it, slowly but surely, and it’s coming together. Slower than I would have liked, but it’s getting there.
Chapter 5 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 1