Unravelling Zeke - Cosy
TA-DA-LAAA-DA-DA-DAAAAAA!
This is chapter FIFTY!
o_O
Banner by aliensouldream
Title: Cosy
Author: Gabi
Fandom: The Faculty
Pairing: Z/C
Rating: R
Summary: Casey gets to sit in the car and wait. Alone.
Disclaimer: I own neither the rights nor the characters. If I did, Mr Tyler would be sporting a lovely new collar. I make no money. I have no money. Don’t sue me.
Note: beta’d by the wonderful Aliensouldream. I lurve you. Thank you xxx
Previous
Epiphany / Party & Boring / Plans / Casa Del Tyler / The Suit / Mom / Hate You / Meet the Connors / New York - Friday / New York - Saturday / New York - Sunday / Texting / The Deal / Complex / Snow / Pictures of You / A Connor Christmas / Missed This / Photogenic / New Years Eve / Trust / Saint Valentine / Spring Break / Calm / Storm / Stages / Whispers / Echoes / Stokely / I Love You / Mercy / Thrift / Messenger / Anticipation / So Talk / Sand / Insomnia / Penance / Signals / Murdock / Pilot / Concert / Midnight / Perspective / Lost / Nightmare / Seventeen / Open
Takes place right after Open
“That is absolute, total and utter bullshit and you know it.”
Zeke couldn’t hold his mischievous smile while he glanced at his rear-view mirror. “I’m tellin’ you, man...”
Casey shook his head with a smile. “You’re so fulla shit.”
“Can’t argue with fact.”
“Shut… up!”
Zeke chuckled briefly then concentrated on the road while he negotiated a turn.
Casey’s brain scrambled for something else to talk about. Zeke was probably sick of hearing his voice, but while he was involved in conversation, he couldn’t dedicate all his thoughts to his impending appointment with Sophie. “You know before? When you asked me what kind of place I wanted to live in?”
“Yeah?”
“What kind of place do you want to live in?”
A little smirk hooked the corner of Zeke’s mouth. “Not tellin’. I don’t wanna influence your answer.”
“That’s cheating.”
“Hey, I asked first.”
“Yeah, but… I don’t know.” Casey confessed. “I’m not fussy.”
Zeke glanced over. “Okay… I wanna live in an igloo.”
“Zeke…”
He snorted. “So you don’t wanna live in an igloo.”
“No.”
“So what do you wanna live in?”
Casey honestly didn’t know. While he had thought about them living together, he’d never got past shared accommodation at college. All he needed was a roof over their heads and a double bed. But the fact that Zeke was talking, even flippantly, about life after the next two weeks was more than welcome. “I dunno. We talking realistically? Or lottery win?”
Zeke shrugged at the car in front. “Lottery win.”
He still didn’t know. He was never really one for dreaming about large mansions. His dreams of escape only really extended so far as school. Did he really need a big mansion? Did he want one? No, not really. “I dunno.” he confessed with a sigh. “I’m not interested in big Hollywood houses and stuff.”
“You’re useless.”
“I know. Gimme some ideas.”
“Well…” Zeke started. “Do you want a castle? A small cosy cottage? A loft apartment? Ranch? Beach house? Deco villa? Um… some place in the suburbs? The projects? What?”
Casey chuckled. “The projects? Just nip downstairs for some hash.” he joked.
Zeke grinned. “Always an upside.”
Casey snorted. “Idiot. I dunno… I guess something cosy. I don’t want a vast place, it’d feel empty, ya know? Your house is plenty big enough.”
“Yeah… It doesn’t feel as big with you in it. Or as empty.”
“Obviously.”
“Cosy then. I can handle cosy.” He took another turn that led them into Cambridge Centre. “Where?”
“Don’t know. Don’t care.”
“For fuck sake, at least pick a climate.”
Casey pondered. “Nowhere cold, cos you’re fuckin’ intolerable. Nowhere that rains too much cos I can’t use my camera. Um… not an island cos I can probably handle a beach, but not to be surrounded by vast tracks of water.”
Zeke frowned. “You gonna be okay on vacation?”
“You gonna make me go swimming?”
“Not now.”
“Then I’ll be fine.”
Zeke glanced over with a slight smile. “Sure you don’t want me to book you in for an appointment?”
“Shut up.” he spat, a little more nastily than he intended. “I know its irrational, but you weren’t there.”
Zeke shut up.
Casey kicked himself. Talk to him. Distract him. Think of something. “Where would you wanna live?”
Zeke stopped at the lights and dug out a cigarette. “Somewhere warm. Can’t decide if I want somewhere chilled and quiet,” He lit his smoke and snapped his Zippo shut. “or somewhere in the city, with all the amenities close by.”
“Quiet usually means close community. Which usually means strong family values and a God fearin’, gays-not-welcome attitude.”
Zeke drove forward and turned onto a smaller street. “People suck.”
“Yeah…” it was going to be a potential problem no matter where they lived. “San Francisco’s warm…”
Zeke smiled, but it dropped quickly. “Fuckin’ hate this place.”
Casey followed his gaze to the blue sign in front of the car park that Zeke was pulling into. GPS Health Center. At least it didn’t scream mental health or psychiatry. They parked up and Zeke let his head fall back against the head-rest. “Time is it?”
“You’ve got… just over ten minutes.”
“Fuck.” He inhaled a long deep lungful of smoke and exhaled slowly. “You’re gonna have to wait in the car, they’ll close up soon. You pick up that Lovecraft book?”
“Yep. You go get sane, I’ll read about the insane.”
Zeke cracked a smile. “I better go in…” He stared at the modern building and sighed. “You gonna be okay?”
Casey reached over and pulled him into a quick kiss. “Go.” he demanded, “And be good.”
Zeke puffed a short sharp breath and got out of the car. He didn’t look back as he made his way over to the building, or when he flicked his smoke away, pulled open the glass door and disappeared inside.
It was just Casey and a book now. Just Casey to worry about how Zeke was doing in there and what, if anything, he was telling her. What, if anything, she was helping him with.
Just Casey.
Waiting.
After about ten minutes of trying to concentrate on the book, his peripheral vision caught motion at the doors. He glanced up to see a couple leaving hand in hand. Probably the appointment before Zeke, he thought. He bit back a rise of pity for his boyfriend and settled back into his book.
A few more minutes passed before the doors caught his attention again. A young male lit a cigarette, jammed his hands into his pockets and walked past the car without noticing him. Odd… Perhaps it was a group practice. It made sense, given the size of the building. Maybe that’s what the GPS stood for, Greene, …Plant and… Sugardaddy or something. Not Greene Psychiatric Services. He shrugged and went back to his book.
Again with the fucking doors! He glanced up this time to see a professional looking woman come out and head his way. As she neared, he noticed her eyes were pink and blotchy as if she’d been crying. She spotted him and smiled sadly. He smiled back apologetically and tried not to watch as she got into the adjacent car and checked herself in her rear-view mirror.
He wondered if the locals ever stereotyped the people who went in and out of this building. They must know what it is. Do they think the clients are psychos? Mentally ill? Or that some are merely business types who think that paying someone to make sense of their world in little hour long chunks is worth the cost?
Casey had never been to see a psychiatrist. Of course, that night in the hospital one had come to see him, but… He wondered what it was like. What would the room look like? Cold and professional or designed to put you at ease? Do they really have those black leather couches? Or do they sit behind a desk? How was Zeke doing right this minute?
The doors opened again and two men came out. One in a suit and one in smart casual wear. Both carried briefcases and chatted for a moment before making their way to separate cars. They must be psychiatrists, he thought. His suspicions seemed confirmed when one pulled out in a big blue Mercedes and the other in a shiny silver Chrysler.
It’s a lucrative business, getting inside people’s heads, he thought. Zeke made a point of making Sophie earn every goddamn nickel she got from his mother. And at some point you’re going to stop obsessing. Read… your… book.
He settled down and managed to read three pages before those doors caught his attention again. His eyes snapped up. Not his boyfriend. A smartly dressed blonde woman came out, turned and locked the door before heading over to one of two remaining empty cars. He figured it to be what’s her name? Receptionist… Anna.
Just Zeke and Sophie now.
And Casey in the car.
Waiting.
He checked his watch. It was only six thirty. He tried to read just to silence the nagging worry in his head. He’ll be fine. He’s just talking. At least he better be. Casey growled at himself and concentrated on the words on the page.
He’d read two short stories and was two pages into the third when he caught movement at the doors. His heart skipped a beat when he saw who he presumed to be Sophie unlocking the front door. He watched as the thirty-something, auburn haired woman stepped out with Zeke in tow, him towering over her modest height and pausing for a cigarette as she locked the door behind them.
They were talking, which Casey took as a good sign. Zeke smoked and listened, smiled then nodded. She glanced over to the car and Casey subconsciously sunk into his seat to avoid her gaze. He didn’t know why.
They parted company and she made her way to the last remaining empty car as Zeke approached the GTO. He slid into his seat, shut the door and dramatically sagged back against the leather with his eyes closed.
Casey tentatively asked. “You okay?”
“That… was hard!”
Don’t ask him what happened. Don’t bug him. It’s not your job to pick his brain any more. Just be supportive. “Do you wanna talk about it?”
“Not right now.” he sighed. “Gotta get to the pharmacy on South Street before it shuts.”
“Wait… You tell her your dad’s due out and she puts you on meds?”
Zeke cracked a smirk and looked over. “Sleepers, Case. Not anti-psychotics. They give ‘em to kids with night terrors. Should stop the nightmares. Or reduce the chances, anyway.”
“Oh… Well that’s good.” Casey hadn’t even considered the possibility of dream inhibiting drugs.
“It’s a short term thing but if I can sleep, I can think. I gotta come back on Wednesday.”
“Okay.” he said with a bright smile. “I’ll wait for you.”
“Thanks.” He offered an exhausted smile and started the car. “Keep me awake.”
“Oh… kay… Um… You’ve put me on the spot now.” He struggled for something to say as Zeke pulled out into light evening traffic. “What’s your favourite Lovecraft Story?”
“I can’t remember them all. But maybe The Hounds of Tindalos. Those things are fuckin’ weird, man.”
“I haven’t read that one yet.”
“I won’t spoil it for you.” He rubbed his eyes and blinked at the road. “Fuck… I need to stop somewhere for a drink or something, man. Just to wake up. That fuckin’ drained me.”
“Okay.” Casey watched him with caution. He was fighting to stay focused. “Did it help?”
“Fuck knows, man. My head’s up my ass. Took me about ten minutes to actually talk to her. I just… I’m not used to telling her shit, so… Ten minutes of struggling then it all came out in one long sentence. She’s like… Ok, we’re gonna go back to the beginning and work through them all one at a time. Fucking hard, man.”
“I’m not… gonna push you to talk about it. But you can if you wanna. I’m dying to know, but… I accept it’s private, so… if n’ when, ya know?”
Zeke smiled as he pulled over outside the pharmacy. “Thanks. You want anything from the store while I’m in there?”
“No, but I’m coming in anyway. My ass is numb!”
~*~
It was almost eight when they got back home. Home. Casey headed straight for the kitchen as Zeke locked the door behind them. He busied himself with mugs and coffee as Zeke came in behind him and wrapped strong arms around his waist. He murmured contently as Zeke planted a hot lingering kiss on his neck.
“Thank you.” came the whisper from behind.
“For what?” he asked, leaning back into the embrace of his boyfriend.
“Being you.”
Casey twisted in his arms and looked up with a smile. “Elaborate?”
Zeke raised his eyebrows and smirked. “Fishing for compliments?”
“No.” he grinned.
Zeke chuckled then kissed his forehead. “Good.” He reached down to the seat of Casey’s jeans and heaved him up onto the counter to stand between his parted knees. “Cos you’re not getting any.”
Casey draped his arms over Zeke’s shoulders and put on his best pouty face. “I’ll sulk.”
“Puh-lease… My sulk’s way sulkier than your sulk.”
Casey grinned down from his slight height advantage. “Nope… it’s just cuter.”
Zeke scrunched his face up. “Shut… up!”
“You’re so cute!” he teased.
“Fuck you, man.” he drawled with a laugh.
“Cute.”
“Fuck you.” He pulled away when the coffee was ready and poured it into Casey’s mug.
Casey stayed on the counter. “When are you supposed to take your meds?”
“Bed time. First dose fucks you up apparently, so swallow and lie the fuck down.”
“Nice.”
“Yeah, it gets easier, so…” He handed Casey his mug. “Yeah… bed time.”
He hugged it. “In your state, that’d be about now, then.” he mused before taking a sip.
“You need to eat first.”
“You not hungry?” he asked over his mug.
“No.” he replied absently. “Waddya want?”
“I’ll nuke something.” He jumped off the counter and headed to the freezer, pleased that he’d remembered not to pester Zeke to eat. He pulled out a lasagne and set about discarding the packaging while Zeke half collapsed onto a bar stool opposite.
“What you gonna do when I crash? You got any homework needs doing?”
Casey set the timer on the microwave and came to sit opposite Zeke. “Nothing due in tomorrow. I’m gonna come crash with you.”
“You tired?” he asked, surprised.
“Not really, but I wanna come up with you.”
“Case, I’m dead, man… I’m in no fit state to-”
“I know.” he cut in. “Don’t worry about it.”
Zeke stared at the mug he was holding. “Sorry… I wanted it to be more… monumental, I guess. You staying over n’ shit.”
“Trust me, baby… Watching you fall asleep in my arms without stressing over it will be monumental enough.”
Zeke looked up with a smile. “Hope it fucking works.”
Casey smiled back reassuringly. “It will.”
They turned the discussion to a more menial conversation, such as homework and assignments while Casey ate his lasagne. When he offered Zeke a piece, he pulled his face and shook his head. Casey left it at that and silently prayed he ate something soon. He figured there wasn’t much either he, nor Sophie could do to make him want to eat. Not without an army of pills for each symptom anyway.
By the time he’d finished eating Zeke was struggling to stay awake. Dozing on his knuckles then snapping his eyes open. “Come on sleepy head,” he coaxed after trashing his empty tray, “bed.”
“Yeah…” Zeke stretched and yawned and made a big production of getting off his stool like an old man. Poor thing must be so stiff without sleep.
“Did you get a vitamin this morning?” he asked while pouring a glass of water.
“Nah, I was rushed.”
Casey opened the tub, handed him a vitamin pill and the glass of water. Zeke took it without fuss then swallowed his Prazosin and handed back the glass, which Casey rinsed and dumped in the sink with his fork.
After setting the alarm, Casey led his yawning boyfriend into the shower in an attempt to let him loosen up and relax his stiff and aching muscles before bed. Casey learned a long time ago that one of Zeke’s favourite past times was showering. He’d never met anyone, let alone a teenage boy who showered as much as Zeke seemed to. When he was dirty, stressed or just plain bored, he’d shower. He’d also learned just how much Zeke loved the power spray.
Zeke allowed himself to be led into the cubicle and soaped up. Casey had to concentrate on the task at hand to prevent his mind from wandering to matters of a sexual nature, especially when his beautiful lover was sudded, smooth and slippery. Today was about getting Zeke comfy, relaxed and sleeping. The boy was in no condition for anything else.
When Casey turned the head to power spray and backed Zeke into the jet to massage his aching shoulders, he groaned out the stiffness and flexed to work his muscles. After a good five minutes Zeke stopped squirming and Casey knew he was feeling better. He dislodged the head from its holder and manually worked the rest of his muscles while Zeke stood silently smiling with his palms against the wall, purring contentedly at the jet roaming his spine.
He knew his job was done when a sleepy Zeke pulled him into a long slow, grateful kiss. Task at hand, his mind chanted begrudgingly. Don’t get carried away. After shooing Zeke out of the cubicle, he quickly rinsed off and turned off the shower. They dried, brushed their teeth in comfortable silence, then climbed into the soft comfortable bed.
When Zeke sat up and grabbed his cigarettes, Casey raised his eyebrows. “Excuse me, Mr…”
Zeke looked over with a grin. “I wanna give that pill time to kick in. I’m not risking a nightmare in the next ten minutes. So… smoke.”
“Then why didn’t you take it an hour ago?”
“Cos I didn’t wanna collapse half way up the stairs.”
“Collapse?”
“They make you dizzy n’ shit. Drop your blood pressure. I’m not fainting on the stairs.”
Casey sniffed. “Fair enough. That wears off though, right?”
“First is the worst. Especially with me not eating. Like I said, it should get easier. I’ll just have to make sure I don’t get up too fast for a few days.”
“How long’s she got you on ‘em for?”
“She only gave me a week’s worth to tide me over. She’ll review it on Wednesday. She’d rather I work through why I’m having nightmares than mask them. They’re an emergency short term measure. When the danger’s over they’ll stop anyway, so…”
“Yeah…” Either way he’d only need two about weeks worth.
“Bet you’re itching to know what she said.”
Casey looked over to his smiling boyfriend. “Yeah, but it’s personal.”
The smile grew. “I’m impressed you’ve not asked. So impressed…” he said, pausing to inhale a lungful of nicotine, “that I’ll tell you. The basics anyway.”
“Okay.” He said with hopeful surprise.
“When I told her all the shit I was worried about, she asked me where my mom was and if she knew how I felt. I told her she knew but didn’t care. So she asked me if we’d talked about it and I explained that she told me to go see my dad inside. See what frame of mind he’s in. She thinks it’s not such a bad idea and kinda had a go at me for leaving it so late... But she likes you.”
“Really? Why?”
“Cos I’m not going through this shit alone. And you drag shit out of me and try to take care of me. I wouldn’t have gone to see her if you hadn’t pushed me.”
Casey smiled. “Okay.”
“So yeah… She’s going to try and set up a meeting with my dad. Which I’m shitting, but she knows that. She can set it up faster cos she has professional access to the case n’ shit. Says she’ll set it up - if he agrees to it - with a psychologist present to check body language n’ shit, so if he makes one wrong move I’ll know about it.”
“But if he does… what then?”
“Fuck knows. She’s looking into options like home schooling. Even if it’s somewhere else. So I still get to take my exams and graduate.”
“Somewhere else?” he asked with a lump in his throat.
“I know…” he sighed, “But it’ll be temporary. If he finds me it’ll be permanent.”
“I guess.” he sulked.
Zeke looked over apologetically and wrapped an arm around his shoulder. “It’s a start, right? Better than nothing.”
Casey managed to smile. It was better than nothing. Much better. Zeke would sleep, finally had some options open and would most likely live to see graduation. “Yeah.” his smile grew. “Told you she wasn’t a bitch.”
Zeke grinned. “She’s still a bitch. But she’s not …the enemy any more. Once we get the practical shit out of the way she’s going to attempt to ‘resolve my issues’.”
Casey snorted. “Good luck to her!”
Zeke laughed. “Fucker.” He stubbed the butt out and reached over to place the ashtray back on the bedside table. “Whoah…”
“What?” Casey asked concerned.
“Head spin. I need to lie down.”
Casey slithered down the bed and held is arms out in a silent, smiling invitation. Zeke carefully lay next to him then rolled and curled into his arms, his head on Casey’s shoulder. Casey wrapped his arms around his warm, sleepy boyfriend and smiled to himself.
Zeke was going to sleep. Without fuss. With any luck, he’d sleep through ‘til morning. Zeke was going to be awake and alert tomorrow. They were living together. As a couple. Zeke had agreed to go back to see Sophie. Zeke had agreed to take his meds and his options. Things were definitely looking up.
In this moment, with Zeke’s breath slowing, his heavy head on Casey’s shoulder, Casey was more hopeful, more content and stress free than he remembered being in a long time. The fight wasn’t over. But now they had a good chance of survival.
“Love you.” Zeke murmured sleepily.
Casey pulled him into a gentle squeeze. “I know. Sleep.”
“Thanks.”
“For what? Being me?”
He sighed. “Hmmhm…”
Casey smiled and kissed the top of Zeke’s head. “Would you have me any other way?”
“Less conceited.” he mumbled.
Casey giggled. “Go to fucking sleep.”
This is chapter FIFTY!
o_O
Banner by aliensouldream
Title: Cosy
Author: Gabi
Fandom: The Faculty
Pairing: Z/C
Rating: R
Summary: Casey gets to sit in the car and wait. Alone.
Disclaimer: I own neither the rights nor the characters. If I did, Mr Tyler would be sporting a lovely new collar. I make no money. I have no money. Don’t sue me.
Note: beta’d by the wonderful Aliensouldream. I lurve you. Thank you xxx
Previous
Epiphany / Party & Boring / Plans / Casa Del Tyler / The Suit / Mom / Hate You / Meet the Connors / New York - Friday / New York - Saturday / New York - Sunday / Texting / The Deal / Complex / Snow / Pictures of You / A Connor Christmas / Missed This / Photogenic / New Years Eve / Trust / Saint Valentine / Spring Break / Calm / Storm / Stages / Whispers / Echoes / Stokely / I Love You / Mercy / Thrift / Messenger / Anticipation / So Talk / Sand / Insomnia / Penance / Signals / Murdock / Pilot / Concert / Midnight / Perspective / Lost / Nightmare / Seventeen / Open
Takes place right after Open
“That is absolute, total and utter bullshit and you know it.”
Zeke couldn’t hold his mischievous smile while he glanced at his rear-view mirror. “I’m tellin’ you, man...”
Casey shook his head with a smile. “You’re so fulla shit.”
“Can’t argue with fact.”
“Shut… up!”
Zeke chuckled briefly then concentrated on the road while he negotiated a turn.
Casey’s brain scrambled for something else to talk about. Zeke was probably sick of hearing his voice, but while he was involved in conversation, he couldn’t dedicate all his thoughts to his impending appointment with Sophie. “You know before? When you asked me what kind of place I wanted to live in?”
“Yeah?”
“What kind of place do you want to live in?”
A little smirk hooked the corner of Zeke’s mouth. “Not tellin’. I don’t wanna influence your answer.”
“That’s cheating.”
“Hey, I asked first.”
“Yeah, but… I don’t know.” Casey confessed. “I’m not fussy.”
Zeke glanced over. “Okay… I wanna live in an igloo.”
“Zeke…”
He snorted. “So you don’t wanna live in an igloo.”
“No.”
“So what do you wanna live in?”
Casey honestly didn’t know. While he had thought about them living together, he’d never got past shared accommodation at college. All he needed was a roof over their heads and a double bed. But the fact that Zeke was talking, even flippantly, about life after the next two weeks was more than welcome. “I dunno. We talking realistically? Or lottery win?”
Zeke shrugged at the car in front. “Lottery win.”
He still didn’t know. He was never really one for dreaming about large mansions. His dreams of escape only really extended so far as school. Did he really need a big mansion? Did he want one? No, not really. “I dunno.” he confessed with a sigh. “I’m not interested in big Hollywood houses and stuff.”
“You’re useless.”
“I know. Gimme some ideas.”
“Well…” Zeke started. “Do you want a castle? A small cosy cottage? A loft apartment? Ranch? Beach house? Deco villa? Um… some place in the suburbs? The projects? What?”
Casey chuckled. “The projects? Just nip downstairs for some hash.” he joked.
Zeke grinned. “Always an upside.”
Casey snorted. “Idiot. I dunno… I guess something cosy. I don’t want a vast place, it’d feel empty, ya know? Your house is plenty big enough.”
“Yeah… It doesn’t feel as big with you in it. Or as empty.”
“Obviously.”
“Cosy then. I can handle cosy.” He took another turn that led them into Cambridge Centre. “Where?”
“Don’t know. Don’t care.”
“For fuck sake, at least pick a climate.”
Casey pondered. “Nowhere cold, cos you’re fuckin’ intolerable. Nowhere that rains too much cos I can’t use my camera. Um… not an island cos I can probably handle a beach, but not to be surrounded by vast tracks of water.”
Zeke frowned. “You gonna be okay on vacation?”
“You gonna make me go swimming?”
“Not now.”
“Then I’ll be fine.”
Zeke glanced over with a slight smile. “Sure you don’t want me to book you in for an appointment?”
“Shut up.” he spat, a little more nastily than he intended. “I know its irrational, but you weren’t there.”
Zeke shut up.
Casey kicked himself. Talk to him. Distract him. Think of something. “Where would you wanna live?”
Zeke stopped at the lights and dug out a cigarette. “Somewhere warm. Can’t decide if I want somewhere chilled and quiet,” He lit his smoke and snapped his Zippo shut. “or somewhere in the city, with all the amenities close by.”
“Quiet usually means close community. Which usually means strong family values and a God fearin’, gays-not-welcome attitude.”
Zeke drove forward and turned onto a smaller street. “People suck.”
“Yeah…” it was going to be a potential problem no matter where they lived. “San Francisco’s warm…”
Zeke smiled, but it dropped quickly. “Fuckin’ hate this place.”
Casey followed his gaze to the blue sign in front of the car park that Zeke was pulling into. GPS Health Center. At least it didn’t scream mental health or psychiatry. They parked up and Zeke let his head fall back against the head-rest. “Time is it?”
“You’ve got… just over ten minutes.”
“Fuck.” He inhaled a long deep lungful of smoke and exhaled slowly. “You’re gonna have to wait in the car, they’ll close up soon. You pick up that Lovecraft book?”
“Yep. You go get sane, I’ll read about the insane.”
Zeke cracked a smile. “I better go in…” He stared at the modern building and sighed. “You gonna be okay?”
Casey reached over and pulled him into a quick kiss. “Go.” he demanded, “And be good.”
Zeke puffed a short sharp breath and got out of the car. He didn’t look back as he made his way over to the building, or when he flicked his smoke away, pulled open the glass door and disappeared inside.
It was just Casey and a book now. Just Casey to worry about how Zeke was doing in there and what, if anything, he was telling her. What, if anything, she was helping him with.
Just Casey.
Waiting.
After about ten minutes of trying to concentrate on the book, his peripheral vision caught motion at the doors. He glanced up to see a couple leaving hand in hand. Probably the appointment before Zeke, he thought. He bit back a rise of pity for his boyfriend and settled back into his book.
A few more minutes passed before the doors caught his attention again. A young male lit a cigarette, jammed his hands into his pockets and walked past the car without noticing him. Odd… Perhaps it was a group practice. It made sense, given the size of the building. Maybe that’s what the GPS stood for, Greene, …Plant and… Sugardaddy or something. Not Greene Psychiatric Services. He shrugged and went back to his book.
Again with the fucking doors! He glanced up this time to see a professional looking woman come out and head his way. As she neared, he noticed her eyes were pink and blotchy as if she’d been crying. She spotted him and smiled sadly. He smiled back apologetically and tried not to watch as she got into the adjacent car and checked herself in her rear-view mirror.
He wondered if the locals ever stereotyped the people who went in and out of this building. They must know what it is. Do they think the clients are psychos? Mentally ill? Or that some are merely business types who think that paying someone to make sense of their world in little hour long chunks is worth the cost?
Casey had never been to see a psychiatrist. Of course, that night in the hospital one had come to see him, but… He wondered what it was like. What would the room look like? Cold and professional or designed to put you at ease? Do they really have those black leather couches? Or do they sit behind a desk? How was Zeke doing right this minute?
The doors opened again and two men came out. One in a suit and one in smart casual wear. Both carried briefcases and chatted for a moment before making their way to separate cars. They must be psychiatrists, he thought. His suspicions seemed confirmed when one pulled out in a big blue Mercedes and the other in a shiny silver Chrysler.
It’s a lucrative business, getting inside people’s heads, he thought. Zeke made a point of making Sophie earn every goddamn nickel she got from his mother. And at some point you’re going to stop obsessing. Read… your… book.
He settled down and managed to read three pages before those doors caught his attention again. His eyes snapped up. Not his boyfriend. A smartly dressed blonde woman came out, turned and locked the door before heading over to one of two remaining empty cars. He figured it to be what’s her name? Receptionist… Anna.
Just Zeke and Sophie now.
And Casey in the car.
Waiting.
He checked his watch. It was only six thirty. He tried to read just to silence the nagging worry in his head. He’ll be fine. He’s just talking. At least he better be. Casey growled at himself and concentrated on the words on the page.
He’d read two short stories and was two pages into the third when he caught movement at the doors. His heart skipped a beat when he saw who he presumed to be Sophie unlocking the front door. He watched as the thirty-something, auburn haired woman stepped out with Zeke in tow, him towering over her modest height and pausing for a cigarette as she locked the door behind them.
They were talking, which Casey took as a good sign. Zeke smoked and listened, smiled then nodded. She glanced over to the car and Casey subconsciously sunk into his seat to avoid her gaze. He didn’t know why.
They parted company and she made her way to the last remaining empty car as Zeke approached the GTO. He slid into his seat, shut the door and dramatically sagged back against the leather with his eyes closed.
Casey tentatively asked. “You okay?”
“That… was hard!”
Don’t ask him what happened. Don’t bug him. It’s not your job to pick his brain any more. Just be supportive. “Do you wanna talk about it?”
“Not right now.” he sighed. “Gotta get to the pharmacy on South Street before it shuts.”
“Wait… You tell her your dad’s due out and she puts you on meds?”
Zeke cracked a smirk and looked over. “Sleepers, Case. Not anti-psychotics. They give ‘em to kids with night terrors. Should stop the nightmares. Or reduce the chances, anyway.”
“Oh… Well that’s good.” Casey hadn’t even considered the possibility of dream inhibiting drugs.
“It’s a short term thing but if I can sleep, I can think. I gotta come back on Wednesday.”
“Okay.” he said with a bright smile. “I’ll wait for you.”
“Thanks.” He offered an exhausted smile and started the car. “Keep me awake.”
“Oh… kay… Um… You’ve put me on the spot now.” He struggled for something to say as Zeke pulled out into light evening traffic. “What’s your favourite Lovecraft Story?”
“I can’t remember them all. But maybe The Hounds of Tindalos. Those things are fuckin’ weird, man.”
“I haven’t read that one yet.”
“I won’t spoil it for you.” He rubbed his eyes and blinked at the road. “Fuck… I need to stop somewhere for a drink or something, man. Just to wake up. That fuckin’ drained me.”
“Okay.” Casey watched him with caution. He was fighting to stay focused. “Did it help?”
“Fuck knows, man. My head’s up my ass. Took me about ten minutes to actually talk to her. I just… I’m not used to telling her shit, so… Ten minutes of struggling then it all came out in one long sentence. She’s like… Ok, we’re gonna go back to the beginning and work through them all one at a time. Fucking hard, man.”
“I’m not… gonna push you to talk about it. But you can if you wanna. I’m dying to know, but… I accept it’s private, so… if n’ when, ya know?”
Zeke smiled as he pulled over outside the pharmacy. “Thanks. You want anything from the store while I’m in there?”
“No, but I’m coming in anyway. My ass is numb!”
~*~
It was almost eight when they got back home. Home. Casey headed straight for the kitchen as Zeke locked the door behind them. He busied himself with mugs and coffee as Zeke came in behind him and wrapped strong arms around his waist. He murmured contently as Zeke planted a hot lingering kiss on his neck.
“Thank you.” came the whisper from behind.
“For what?” he asked, leaning back into the embrace of his boyfriend.
“Being you.”
Casey twisted in his arms and looked up with a smile. “Elaborate?”
Zeke raised his eyebrows and smirked. “Fishing for compliments?”
“No.” he grinned.
Zeke chuckled then kissed his forehead. “Good.” He reached down to the seat of Casey’s jeans and heaved him up onto the counter to stand between his parted knees. “Cos you’re not getting any.”
Casey draped his arms over Zeke’s shoulders and put on his best pouty face. “I’ll sulk.”
“Puh-lease… My sulk’s way sulkier than your sulk.”
Casey grinned down from his slight height advantage. “Nope… it’s just cuter.”
Zeke scrunched his face up. “Shut… up!”
“You’re so cute!” he teased.
“Fuck you, man.” he drawled with a laugh.
“Cute.”
“Fuck you.” He pulled away when the coffee was ready and poured it into Casey’s mug.
Casey stayed on the counter. “When are you supposed to take your meds?”
“Bed time. First dose fucks you up apparently, so swallow and lie the fuck down.”
“Nice.”
“Yeah, it gets easier, so…” He handed Casey his mug. “Yeah… bed time.”
He hugged it. “In your state, that’d be about now, then.” he mused before taking a sip.
“You need to eat first.”
“You not hungry?” he asked over his mug.
“No.” he replied absently. “Waddya want?”
“I’ll nuke something.” He jumped off the counter and headed to the freezer, pleased that he’d remembered not to pester Zeke to eat. He pulled out a lasagne and set about discarding the packaging while Zeke half collapsed onto a bar stool opposite.
“What you gonna do when I crash? You got any homework needs doing?”
Casey set the timer on the microwave and came to sit opposite Zeke. “Nothing due in tomorrow. I’m gonna come crash with you.”
“You tired?” he asked, surprised.
“Not really, but I wanna come up with you.”
“Case, I’m dead, man… I’m in no fit state to-”
“I know.” he cut in. “Don’t worry about it.”
Zeke stared at the mug he was holding. “Sorry… I wanted it to be more… monumental, I guess. You staying over n’ shit.”
“Trust me, baby… Watching you fall asleep in my arms without stressing over it will be monumental enough.”
Zeke looked up with a smile. “Hope it fucking works.”
Casey smiled back reassuringly. “It will.”
They turned the discussion to a more menial conversation, such as homework and assignments while Casey ate his lasagne. When he offered Zeke a piece, he pulled his face and shook his head. Casey left it at that and silently prayed he ate something soon. He figured there wasn’t much either he, nor Sophie could do to make him want to eat. Not without an army of pills for each symptom anyway.
By the time he’d finished eating Zeke was struggling to stay awake. Dozing on his knuckles then snapping his eyes open. “Come on sleepy head,” he coaxed after trashing his empty tray, “bed.”
“Yeah…” Zeke stretched and yawned and made a big production of getting off his stool like an old man. Poor thing must be so stiff without sleep.
“Did you get a vitamin this morning?” he asked while pouring a glass of water.
“Nah, I was rushed.”
Casey opened the tub, handed him a vitamin pill and the glass of water. Zeke took it without fuss then swallowed his Prazosin and handed back the glass, which Casey rinsed and dumped in the sink with his fork.
After setting the alarm, Casey led his yawning boyfriend into the shower in an attempt to let him loosen up and relax his stiff and aching muscles before bed. Casey learned a long time ago that one of Zeke’s favourite past times was showering. He’d never met anyone, let alone a teenage boy who showered as much as Zeke seemed to. When he was dirty, stressed or just plain bored, he’d shower. He’d also learned just how much Zeke loved the power spray.
Zeke allowed himself to be led into the cubicle and soaped up. Casey had to concentrate on the task at hand to prevent his mind from wandering to matters of a sexual nature, especially when his beautiful lover was sudded, smooth and slippery. Today was about getting Zeke comfy, relaxed and sleeping. The boy was in no condition for anything else.
When Casey turned the head to power spray and backed Zeke into the jet to massage his aching shoulders, he groaned out the stiffness and flexed to work his muscles. After a good five minutes Zeke stopped squirming and Casey knew he was feeling better. He dislodged the head from its holder and manually worked the rest of his muscles while Zeke stood silently smiling with his palms against the wall, purring contentedly at the jet roaming his spine.
He knew his job was done when a sleepy Zeke pulled him into a long slow, grateful kiss. Task at hand, his mind chanted begrudgingly. Don’t get carried away. After shooing Zeke out of the cubicle, he quickly rinsed off and turned off the shower. They dried, brushed their teeth in comfortable silence, then climbed into the soft comfortable bed.
When Zeke sat up and grabbed his cigarettes, Casey raised his eyebrows. “Excuse me, Mr…”
Zeke looked over with a grin. “I wanna give that pill time to kick in. I’m not risking a nightmare in the next ten minutes. So… smoke.”
“Then why didn’t you take it an hour ago?”
“Cos I didn’t wanna collapse half way up the stairs.”
“Collapse?”
“They make you dizzy n’ shit. Drop your blood pressure. I’m not fainting on the stairs.”
Casey sniffed. “Fair enough. That wears off though, right?”
“First is the worst. Especially with me not eating. Like I said, it should get easier. I’ll just have to make sure I don’t get up too fast for a few days.”
“How long’s she got you on ‘em for?”
“She only gave me a week’s worth to tide me over. She’ll review it on Wednesday. She’d rather I work through why I’m having nightmares than mask them. They’re an emergency short term measure. When the danger’s over they’ll stop anyway, so…”
“Yeah…” Either way he’d only need two about weeks worth.
“Bet you’re itching to know what she said.”
Casey looked over to his smiling boyfriend. “Yeah, but it’s personal.”
The smile grew. “I’m impressed you’ve not asked. So impressed…” he said, pausing to inhale a lungful of nicotine, “that I’ll tell you. The basics anyway.”
“Okay.” He said with hopeful surprise.
“When I told her all the shit I was worried about, she asked me where my mom was and if she knew how I felt. I told her she knew but didn’t care. So she asked me if we’d talked about it and I explained that she told me to go see my dad inside. See what frame of mind he’s in. She thinks it’s not such a bad idea and kinda had a go at me for leaving it so late... But she likes you.”
“Really? Why?”
“Cos I’m not going through this shit alone. And you drag shit out of me and try to take care of me. I wouldn’t have gone to see her if you hadn’t pushed me.”
Casey smiled. “Okay.”
“So yeah… She’s going to try and set up a meeting with my dad. Which I’m shitting, but she knows that. She can set it up faster cos she has professional access to the case n’ shit. Says she’ll set it up - if he agrees to it - with a psychologist present to check body language n’ shit, so if he makes one wrong move I’ll know about it.”
“But if he does… what then?”
“Fuck knows. She’s looking into options like home schooling. Even if it’s somewhere else. So I still get to take my exams and graduate.”
“Somewhere else?” he asked with a lump in his throat.
“I know…” he sighed, “But it’ll be temporary. If he finds me it’ll be permanent.”
“I guess.” he sulked.
Zeke looked over apologetically and wrapped an arm around his shoulder. “It’s a start, right? Better than nothing.”
Casey managed to smile. It was better than nothing. Much better. Zeke would sleep, finally had some options open and would most likely live to see graduation. “Yeah.” his smile grew. “Told you she wasn’t a bitch.”
Zeke grinned. “She’s still a bitch. But she’s not …the enemy any more. Once we get the practical shit out of the way she’s going to attempt to ‘resolve my issues’.”
Casey snorted. “Good luck to her!”
Zeke laughed. “Fucker.” He stubbed the butt out and reached over to place the ashtray back on the bedside table. “Whoah…”
“What?” Casey asked concerned.
“Head spin. I need to lie down.”
Casey slithered down the bed and held is arms out in a silent, smiling invitation. Zeke carefully lay next to him then rolled and curled into his arms, his head on Casey’s shoulder. Casey wrapped his arms around his warm, sleepy boyfriend and smiled to himself.
Zeke was going to sleep. Without fuss. With any luck, he’d sleep through ‘til morning. Zeke was going to be awake and alert tomorrow. They were living together. As a couple. Zeke had agreed to go back to see Sophie. Zeke had agreed to take his meds and his options. Things were definitely looking up.
In this moment, with Zeke’s breath slowing, his heavy head on Casey’s shoulder, Casey was more hopeful, more content and stress free than he remembered being in a long time. The fight wasn’t over. But now they had a good chance of survival.
“Love you.” Zeke murmured sleepily.
Casey pulled him into a gentle squeeze. “I know. Sleep.”
“Thanks.”
“For what? Being me?”
He sighed. “Hmmhm…”
Casey smiled and kissed the top of Zeke’s head. “Would you have me any other way?”
“Less conceited.” he mumbled.
Casey giggled. “Go to fucking sleep.”