Unravelling Zeke - Sand
Banner by aliensouldream
Title: Sand
Author: Gabi
Fandom: The Faculty
Pairing: Z/C
Rating: R
Summary: Casey wants answers.
Disclaimer: I own neither the rights nor the characters. If I did, Mr Tyler would be sporting a lovely new collar. I make no money. I have no money. Don’t sue me.
Note: beta’d by Aliensouldream. I lurve you. Thank you xxx
Previous
Epiphany / Party & Boring / Plans / Casa Del Tyler / The Suit / Mom / Hate You / Meet the Connors / New York - Friday / New York - Saturday / New York - Sunday / Texting / The Deal / Complex / Snow / Pictures of You / A Connor Christmas / Missed This / Photogenic / New Years Eve / Trust / Saint Valentine / Spring Break / Calm / Storm / Stages / Whispers / Echoes / Stokely / I Love You / Mercy / Thrift / Messenger / Anticipation / So Talk
NOTE: This takes place immediately after So Talk.
It was over.
Zeke wouldn’t take him back. Casey still couldn’t breathe past the pain in his chest and the constricting lump in his throat. Zeke had rejected him. Zeke wouldn’t give him the chance to prove himself. He’d said no. But there was no anger in his rejection. No venom in the way he dropped his head, closed his eyes and swallowed back the pain. If he hadn’t been rejected through anger, then why? He didn’t understand. The pain would subside just as soon as they were together. Casey knew it. So why didn’t Zeke?
He managed to catch his breath just long enough to ask. “Why?”
Zeke still had his head down and his eyes closed, wincing at the question. His voice, a barely suppressed whine. “I can’t.”
“But why not?” He couldn’t hide the desperation in his tone.
“You can’t be here.”
“What?”
“Go home, Casey.” He sniffed hard. “You should have stayed angry.”
Alarm bells rang through the broken landscape of Casey’s shattered world. “Angry? Why?” He realised he was shaking while he waited for a response that never came. “Have you done something?”
Zeke seemed to curl into himself, gripping the counter to steady himself. “No… But you can’t be here.”
“I don’t understand what you mean.”
“You’re not meant to.” he whined.
Casey got up and moved round the bar to approach him. Zeke flinched away when he tried to touch his shoulder. “You’re not making sense.”
“I don’t want to!” He turned sharply and slid down the cabinet door to hunch beneath the sink, hugging his legs. He dropped his head onto his knees and drew a shaky breath. “God, I’m so sorry!”
Casey crouched by his distressed …ex-boyfriend. “Sorry for what? Make me understand.”
Zeke pulled himself into a tighter ball. “I can’t... I’m sorry, Angel. It’s over. Go home.”
“Not until I understand why. You owe me that much, Zeke. Please.”
“Casey, please… Just trust me on this. You can’t be here.”
“Why not?” he demanded. “Talk to me!”
“I can’t!” he sobbed.
“Zeke, please!”
Zeke uttered a little wounded pining sound then finally raised his head, tears spilling over his cheeks. “My dad’s due out!” He dropped his head back to his knees with another sob. “And you can’t be here when he finds me!”
For the longest time there was nothing. No coherent thought. No breath. His broken world lay silent. Still. Then those last words played over in his mind. Suddenly it was as if Zeke had thrown in that final missing piece and shook the box. That one piece allowing all the remaining pieces of the Zeke puzzle to click into place.
“No, he’s aggressive cos he feels threatened. Like a cat makes itself look bigger to ward off potential danger.” *click*
His panic when his mom walked in unannounced. *click*
His sudden and constant need to lock the door after that. *click*
“Never want to see his face again!” *click*
His panic at the front door opening on New Year’s Eve. *click*
His constant need for distraction. *click*
This must have been eating him alive for months! “When?” he managed to ask.
Zeke kept his face hidden on his knees but the response was a fraction calmer than before. “If I calculated right? Three weeks and two days.”
“Jesus…” He had too many questions. Too many questions all clambering to be asked at once. And you can’t be here when he finds me! One took precedent. “What makes you so sure he’s coming after you?”
“He promised.” Zeke replied into his knees.
“He what? When?”
“When they read his sentence and led him away… He… he should have only got two or three years max but he blamed everything on mom and me. No remorse, twisted everything. They threw the book at him. He got six years. He promised me. He screamed at me, he’d find me... He’s so pissed at me.”
Again, Casey’s brain struggled to make sense of it all. The implications of it all. It took a minute of awkward silence for one thought to ring clear. “Wait…” Casey gasped, horrified. “You’ve been expecting this since you were thirteen?”
Zeke kept his face hidden but nodded silently.
Casey groaned involuntarily. Too much… Too big… Zeke. Thirteen years old. Shell-shocked and traumatised. Convinced his dad’s coming after him. Obviously convinced his dad was gonna kill him when he found him. In his first teen year convinced he wouldn’t outlive his last. Aaand… *click*
He’d got upset at his mom for telling him he’d be twenty soon. *click*
Parties and drugs and dealing and sex. Cramming a lifetime in while he still could. *click*
Not bothering to graduate. *click*
His blatant, reckless disregard for his own future. *click*
His presumption that he wouldn’t get in college. *click*
Zeke had no future. Which is why they had no future. Zeke had been given six years to live and the clock had been ticking down every day since. He was convinced he had three weeks and two days left before the sand ran out. Casey had to find a way of making sure that didn’t happen. He couldn’t lose Zeke. Not that way. Not… No! He had to think and fast! Hiding sounded like a fucking good idea about now!
Hang on…
“Wait…” Casey mused. “You moved away. He won’t find you.”
“No…” Zeke replied bitterly. “Not after my name got in all the national papers after the invasion.”
Fuck! “For saving Herrington High...” he acknowledged. Just put a bulls-eye on the guy and be done with it. “Fuck!”
Zeke was more aggressive at school cos that was where he’d… his dad would ki… find him. *click*
Zeke relaxed out of town and the tension returned at the border. *click*
His constant need for road trips, for escape. *click*
Casey knew the full weight was yet to sink in. He was yet to process the enormity of the crisis. Zeke had three weeks and two days left to live. It just wouldn’t process. He couldn’t wrap his head round it. Zeke was here. In front of him. Breathing. He couldn’t accept that in three weeks Zeke would be gone. Forever. He couldn’t even think the word. Which was good. Cos the second he did he knew he’d fall apart. He had to think now. He had to hang on to sanity while he remained graced with denial. He had to use the time to find a way to stop it from ever happening.
He couldn’t lose Zeke. He wouldn’t lose Zeke. Not now. Not after everything they’d been through and not this way. He just couldn’t accept the notion. Denial and determination were going to save the day. There was a fix. Somewhere out there, there was a fix and they were gonna find it. Even this late in the day.
He put a gentle hand on Zeke’s arm and kept it in place despite the flinch. “Why didn’t you tell me sooner?”
Zeke pulled himself tighter into his desperate ball. “I knew the minute I told you it’d be over between us. I’d have to let you go. I’d lose you.”
“Were you ever gonna tell me?”
“Every day.” he sobbed. “But I couldn’t. I always wanted one more day with you. Just one more day. I’m so sorry, Angel. I’m sorry.”
That’s why Zeke had spent every spare, quiet moment they had over the last few weeks, months even, memorising Casey’s every feature. *click*
“You always knew you were going to lose me… So… Were you always going to dump me?”
“No.” he wailed into his ball. He inhaled hard. “I had over six months to figure a way to save myself. When we hooked up, I was just trying to get on with my life… I thought I had time to work it out. To give us a future. But the clock kept ticking and I’ve run out time.”
“Not yet.” Casey stated resolutely. “If this week’s taught me anything it’s that an outside perspective can be a lifeline. You’re caught up inside your head. I’m not. I’ll think of something.”
“There is nothing. I’ve tried for months.”
“Well, I haven’t. I’m not giving up on you!”
“Case,” he cried, “face it. It’s over. You’re not safe here. You can’t be here when he finds me.”
“Oh, no, no. You are not dealing with this alone. I’m not leaving you.”
Zeke finally looked up. His eyes were red and blotchy from tears but his hands were soft and warm on Casey’s cheeks. “Don’t you ever doubt how much I love you. If you trust one thing, trust that. You’re everything to me, which is why you have to go. If he hurt you I would never forgive myself!”
“And if I just abandon you to die like your fucking mother seems to have, I’d never forgive myself either!”
Zeke dropped his head but didn’t retract completely into his ball. “That’s why you should have stayed angry. I don’t want anyone to mourn for me.”
“Oh, Zeke!”
“I considered being a complete bastard with you when we split. Figured you’d hate me so much you’d be glad when I’m gone, but I just couldn’t do that to you.”
“Do you have any idea what that would do to me? The guilt I’d have to live with? If you died when I abandoned you and hurt you? I’d have to live with that! I fuckin’ love you, Zeke! You can fuck that idea RIGHT off! I’m NOT leaving you to die!”
“Casey, I’m trying to help you! Don’t you get it? You’re in VERY real danger!”
“He’s not after me!”
Zeke growled in desperate frustration. “You’re the perfect weapon for him to hurt me! Do not get in the firing line Casey! Please! I’m doing this to protect you. It’s over!”
Casey heaved a sob. It all seemed so hopeless. He couldn’t leave Zeke to die. He couldn’t leave Zeke full stop. “No it isn’t! I’m not leaving you! I’m gonna think of something, you’re gonna survive and we’re having that future! So deal!”
Zeke dropped his head in his hands. “I have one chance.” He raised his head, eyes pleading as he begged. “It doesn’t have to be forever. Just ‘til you get to college. We’ll start again in New York. I promise. And I’ll come back for our vacation.”
“Come back?” he asked. “What to you mean ‘come back’? You can’t leave. You have to graduate.”
“If I stay… he’ll find me… I have to drop off the map.”
“No.” Casey whined. “You have to Graduate. You HAVE to! You have to get in college!”
“I can’t… stay.”
Casey tried to put on his stern face. “Did you get in?”
Zeke merely shrugged at the floor. “Does it matter?”
“It matters… to me! Did you get in?”
Zeke dropped his head and sighed, all energy seemingly spent. “I’m on the deferred list.”
“But that’s good.” Casey coaxed. “You’ll ace your exams, get in and we’re free!”
“I’ll be dead by then. Sorry Angel. But I gotta go.”
“No!” Casey could feel the adrenaline shakes taking over. “You’re going to graduate! You’re getting in college! We’re gonna have that future! Cos I’m gonna think of something! Don’t think I won’t!”
“You’re not listening to me.”
“I am. I’m just not giving up on you.”
“There is nothing you can do.” Zeke sighed and managed a sad smile. “But it’s ok, Angel. I’m never going to leave you completely. Whether is just ‘til New York or whether he finds me first. I’ll always come back to you.”
Casey couldn’t fight the tears that now streamed down his cheeks. “Zeke, don’t…”
He felt the warmth of Zeke’s hands cup his face again. “Just promise me one thing. Don’t martyr yourself. Don’t put yourself in danger. In three weeks you stay away. Don’t sacrifice your own future. If anything happens to me, promise me you won’t let go of your dream.”
Casey succumbed to the full scale of his bawling sobs and collapsed against Zeke’s chest. Wrapping his arms around him in a tight hug. “A future with you was my dream.”
Zeke returned the hug, holding on just as tightly. “Change it back. Right now we don’t have a future. It’s over. But if I survive this, we’re back on the second you step foot in New York. I promise.”
Not good enough. It just wasn’t good enough. There had to be some way of stopping this and letting Zeke graduate. “Can’t we warn the cops or something?”
“They won’t do shit until a crime’s been committed.”
“But it’ll be too late then!”
“I know. Besides, they’ll say the restraining order’s enough.”
A little ray of hope lit the shattered landscape. “Restraining order?”
“Yeah,” Zeke replied dryly. “Like that puts some impenetrable glass wall around town.”
The ray cut out. But he wasn’t giving up. He sat in his crumpled hug, listening to the sound of Zeke’s heartbeat ticking away his time. “What about protective custody?”
“I’m not a witness, I won’t get it. And I’d still have to disappear.”
“Yeah but they’ll make sure you graduate.”
“I still won’t get it. I checked. Threatened witnesses and shit like that only. I’m on my own.”
“No you’re not. I’m still here. I’m still thinking.”
“You’re wasting your time, Casey.”
Casey looked up and snarled. “By trying to increase your time? You might have given up but I haven’t! It’s not too late! When we took out Marybeth we had a couple of hours, a couple of pens of Scat and a whole town against us. Now we have three weeks and one human enemy. We’ve survived a bigger threat on less!”
Zeke closed his exhausted, tear stained eyes and let his head fall back against the cabinet door. Casey let his head fall back against Zeke’s chest. “He’s not taking you away from me.”