This is probably going to cause more drama than it's worth :|

[fushigi_na_chou]

~.: I'm not even sure if I should really be going on about this here. I just am really feeling the need to talk about this right now, since five hours ago, the conversation ended on a rather unsatisfactory note for me (excepting the fact that I had stopped sobbing and he had stopped yelling

Comments

[bara_eponine]

*Hug*

It seems strange to me that the entire 10 seconds he was participating in the most bizarre form of "networking" I've ever heard of he couldn't use his mouth to say to this girl, "I'm sorry, please geroff me. This is inappropriate. I'm only trying to network with you. I have a wonderful, beautiful girlfriend in the corner over there."

Moreover, he uses his mouth instead to put blame on you for confronting him about something he obviously felt guilt for getting caught doing but not regret.

[fushigi_na_chou]

Yeah, that's basically what I told him as well. I was like "Networking? Really? Networking involves you letting some girl dance up on you? You couldn't be like 'Hey, please stop dancing on me'?" And he was like, "Babe, it was harmless. I don't see what you're getting so upset about." At which point I don't know what to tell him. He clearly doesn't see that even though he saw it as harmless, it hurt my feelings, but I feel like unless I can present him with a valid reason why, he's not going to feel like he did anything wrong. :|

[bara_eponine]

If he doesn't see why you're getting upset with him he obviously doesn't see anything wrong with getting all up ons with a girl when he's seeing you. This may be ok for most couples but since this is definitely not all right with you and he's refusing to acknowledge that then he should be free to grind up on as many girls as possible, when he's free & single and not before.

If there was a predisposed agreement that dancing is not ok then that's your valid reason. If not, the you should make one now.

[fushigi_na_chou]

Right, which I can understand -- and this is something we sort of talked about when Layne and I had our kissing thing (I'm a kissing slut, but for me, kissing my friends is merely an extension of showing my affection -- it's like a really good hug for me, and plus, I only ever do it drunk). Since it was such a usual thing for me, and none of the people we were with at the time saw it as out of the ordinary for either myself or Layne, I didn't think anything of it. But it really bothered Guille; he explained why it did, I explained why it didn't bother me, but acknowledged that I understood he was bothered by it and that I could respect this boundary. All I'm asking for is the same courtesy. I can respect that dancing with another girl is a harmless thing for him, but it wasn't something I was expecting from him. Like I said, I felt it was a double standard. Now that I know it's not, I want to be able to express it freely, have him accept it without criticizing or patronizing me, and then carry on respecting it as a boundary for me

[windup_bird]

Now that I'm also sober and not having to yell things over bar music I can legitimately say that I was upset and hurt (though probably not for the same reasons as you and it's not really about me) by what we both saw last night. First he made me feel guilty for kissing you when it MEANT NOTHING and was also HARMLESS and I'm sure he made you feel that way too but we both acknowledged that he was upset for good reason and decided not to do it again out of respect for him.

And then he pulls this? And I didn't even know how the conversation was going with him last night but now that I do I'm glad I didn't because my drunk self may have actually slapped him for being such a heartless prick. Guille really needs to grow up and realize that not everything is done on his terms or in relation to his feelings. Especially when he's in a relationship. That was not "networking" and you had every right to be upset. For him to try and shrug it off and feel no remorse for his actions is just plain selfish and wrong. I'm really disappointed in him

[fushigi_na_chou]

I wanted to slap him and run out crying. I wanted to shake him and scream at him "It doesn't matter why it bothered me, just acknowledge my feelings and stop putting them down as childish or silly!" and that was the point I was trying to make, but instead, I kept getting fixated on the fact that he had danced with another girl, because that's what he kept making it about. He completely kept missing the point, and every time I tried to bring it back around to the point, it just sounded like I was whining because some girl had her ass in his crotch. So I don't even know. Hopefully a sober conversation will make things make more sense. :|

[translucentpink]

I have nothing useful to really say here. :/ Especially since I'm of the persuasion right now that men are the scum of the earth.

I hope it works out for you, babe. -hugs-

[fushigi_na_chou]

Yeah, I sort of remember why I don't date. 8D; Hopefully things will work out though. It's just a speed bump, right? All relationships have them. :x;;

[hideincarnate]

Well, I wasn't there, and I'm kinda glad I wasn't because I would have probably been the sober friend who would have punched his lights out. 8;D

I can see him being upset about you and Layne kissing. I get that. And I can see your reasons for being upset with him. I get all of the feelings and reasonings.

The one I don't buy is: I was networking.

Oh yeah. Uh huh. So, you're gonna get a job because you basically dry humped some girl on the dance floor?

And people wonder why I don't like dancing. That's not dancing. That is having sex with your clothes on. Call me a prude but I don't want anybody I don't know or trust that close on my junk in the front, in the back, up high, or down low.

[ohkaye]

And people wonder why I don't like dancing. That's not dancing. That is having sex with your clothes on. Call me a prude but I don't want anybody I don't know or trust that close on my junk in the front, in the back, up high, or down low.

... this. It's my personal space for a reason. >8|

[hideincarnate]

Exactly. Also, if I have a boyfriend/girlfriend, unless we've talked over how we like to dance our own ways, I would see that as really offensive. I'd be like "WHY are you letting some random girl rub up on YOUR junk?! Is my ass NOT good enough for you?!" I'd be super jealous. Because to ME, that's like him cheating on me, except I can see it. The penis is a sensitive piece of anatomy. Anything rubbing against it will make it hard and he will definitely be getting his kicks as some random stranger rubs her butt up against his crotch. It's a lap dance for free

[fushigi_na_chou]

What you said you'd say -- I said that. Not in those exact words, but it was basically the same idea: why did he feel the need to allow some other girl to dance up on him when I was right there. But instead of apologizing, he keeps leaping right into his justifications and explanations of what I "just need to understand."

But I'm letting it be dead for now. I'm too tired to keep repeating myself and hear him repeat himself. But it'll come back again, and I'll be sure to drive my point home, however that may have to be. :/

[ohkaye]

First things first: that was a DICK fucking move, on all levels, from him. Awful. Complete bullshit.

Second: I can understand him getting upset about you kissing Layne, even if it was harmless and whatever. That is also not cool because you're in a relationship, and it doesn't really matter that Layne is Layne and you are to each other what you are; monogamy is monogamy, but that goes both ways. It is NOT okay for him to get upset over that and then write off your feelings about him dancing with another girl.

Third: ... who the fuck networks while drunk on a dance floor, what.

Personally... I'd dump his ass. Idk. I'm not you and I'm definitely not around you guys, but it sounds like it's indicative of a pretty immature mentality that isn't going anywhere.

I hope you're ok, bb :( ♥

[fushigi_na_chou]

Through the course of the day, just talking it out with various people, I'm beginning to realize there is a huge element of emotional immaturity within him, that I don't think he's even aware of because he's so convinced of his own maturity elsewhere (which isn't entirely misplaced -- he's definitely about 4 years older than his age, at least). I'm hoping to work with him on this, but not right now, not any time in the near future. This horse is beat dead and I'm too tired to beat at it anymore. But I'm not done with this issue by a long shot. I've got more to say on it to him, and I'm determined to say all I've got to until he understands, or doesn't, and if it's the latter, then there's nothing more I can do, and I'll just have to move on.

Which isn't a thought I want to dwell on right now. I feel depressed enough as it is. Otherwise, I am okay. Thank you for your concern. ♥