I suspect I did know, but I forget everything anyway. Hurrah! And also, WTF? How does you self-identifying as gay invalidate bisexuals? That's like me dyeing a white stripe into my hair being treachery to brunettes. It's the exact same irrational muppet argument that people use when they say that gay people getting married will weaken marriage. MUPPET LOGIC IS NOT LOGIC!
Yes. I am waving my arms in the air like Animal. You are right to suspect as much.
Well, according to her, as A Gay I have "monosexual privilege" over bisexuals and also it's biphobia and bi erasure for gay people to "use bisexuality" in this manner (we should just stay in the closet and ONLY come out when we're ready to admit being Big Gay Gays, you see). [Full disclosure: all of the preceding is typed with a really sarcastic kind of face.]
Oh that's just the most utter load of crap. So, what, no one should have any sex, ever, until they know exactly what or who they want to end up with in case they make a labelling error? Isn't that what the Pope wants?
Mum had a friend who was a Big Name Lesbian and then, well into her fifties, she was sideswiped by falling in love with a man. She had a number of friends who never spoke to her again using the same spurious logic as above. Mum did, saying, 'One cock doesn't destroy a lifetime of minge.' She has a real turn of phrase, my Mum. Of course, they fell out awfully a few years later, but that's a wholly different story.
(Mum bought me Miss Piggy's Guide to Life when I was little, the Muppets are important in my life :-))
Actually, I sympathise with it going the other way; lesbians do have a number of valid reasons to not want to be around women who are into the D even if it's a one-time thing. Bihet women have, and still do, marginalise lesbians to a huge extent -- just look at today's sexpoz feminism and "we're not hairy lesbians; we LOVE to fuck men!11" Like if I had a penny for every time I saw someone holding up a poster that says "I need feminism because I shouldn't be called a lesbian for having short hair" (and similar sentiments), I'd have at least $2 by now. That's rank lesbophobia and I know a number of lesbians who refuse to associate with women who sleep with men because they're sick of that shit in their lives. I don't actually think there's anything wrong with that (if we lived in a gender-equal, sexuality-equal world, we could talk about it being "unfair" but, well
( ... )
Sorry about your crappy friend. Whatever her political *cough* crappy beliefs, it would have been nice if she could support you anyway.
I have tried with Swimming Anime but I am not quite there. And now of course I feel left behind and it's too late and I might as well give up. I'm not very good with new fandoms.
Yeah I've been getting crash reminder courses in "not everyone who says is your friend really is your friend" and "most people are really homophobic even when they are LGBT" but tbh I'm done crying about it. \o/
IT'S REALLY CUTE... like... it was cute from the start to me because I love several of the voice actors a lot, but by episode 3 I was capable of little except interpretive handflapping. I hope you give it a chance and stick with it -- it's only 8 eps long now and it will only be 12 eps in total so it's not a huge time commitment either. T_T
It seems I missed a lot since I started to study and being in the middle of preparing my graduation thesis... you being gay, swimming anime... what shall be next? I shall graduate and find that people have been on Mars already??
Anyway, congrats on coming out, don't let anyone ruin it for you, enjoy and stay true to yourself :) People are people, can't adjust to any kind of change easily, even when we kinda expect they should.
As for the swimming anime - I don't remember when I last saw ANY anime, least of all swimming ones...
Thanks! It's a slow process, way slower than it was last time because obviously people have a lot of questions and sometimes it borders on "well are you SURE" and I'm just like... wow haha (like, I would expect that from people who don't actually know me because everyone gets the "are you sure?" treatment, I did when I was IDing as bi too, but IDK I hoped that people who actually know me would know better).
The swimming anime is wonderful; I am more emotionally invested in it at the moment than literally anything. ;_;
I always disliked those "are you suuuure?" treatments, even when I was a kid - like you're out of your mind, or too stupid to choose for yourself... Of course I'm sure, that's my life we're talking about, you twats!
As for anime, I really don't have time to watch any, so I'll stick to reading manga for now... otherwise my studying time will be seriously diminished :)
I am sorry I missed the coming out bit. I don't know how I did!
I'm reading all these comments above and I am also sorry about your crappy friend. I mean, I think bi erasure is certainly a thing that happens (at the moment I'm irritated by the dearth of dating websites that force you to pick one gender or the other) but choosing to more accurately define your own sexual ID is NOT FUCKING IT and you are not wielding any privilege over anybody by doing that. Lying about your identity sucks for everyone, and most importantly for you. I would think *any* queer person of any stripe would honor and respect the fact that being honest with yourself, and as honest as you are comfortable being (and can safely be) publicly is important.
If you don't follow me on Tumblr you missed it because that's the only time I said anything about it online. I've prioritised the offline until now; yesterday I talked to my best friend, and now all that's left is my parents. :(
Anyway I just figured if I'm going to come out on LJ I might as well do it in a poll /o\
Yeah, I don't deny that bi erasure in general is an actual thing, at all -- I was bi for a lot of years so I get it. I just, gay people and trans people do not as a class have the privilege or power to actually perpetuate it (like, Dan Savage, as a white affluent gay male with an audience, telling bi women they don't exist, that's definitely a case of erasure with an added dose of misogyny, but there aren't that many like him and that's not his entire platform either). That's all there is to it for me -- that's what I believed when I was still bi and it hasn't changed. I completely reject the idea of "monosexism" however and always have. Gay people are not privileged for only being attracted to members of our own sex; I
( ... )
Monosexism is a very hip Postmodern Queer Theory kind of concept that I'm HOPING is only temporarily popular (these things come and go, I mean, when I was a baby bi, we had "labels are for cans" and "fuck the binary"; now we have "I identify as a pangender transambiguous demisexual queer boi" and ""gender is innate and anyone who thinks otherwise is transphobic" so you know.) I'm hoping we'll find some sort of middle ground eventually; it's a relatively young movement.
You know, it happened in a very aside kind of way as a comment on a reblog and it was JUST as we followed each other on Tumblr in October...ish? Maybe a bit later. So it was literally a "blink and you missed it" kind of thing and I'm p sure most people missed it. I just wanted to tangibly mark the time (and place) it crystallised for me so I can remember (and retrace my thoughts) later; it wasn't like a Big Announcement or anything. ^^;
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Yes. I am waving my arms in the air like Animal. You are right to suspect as much.
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(haha that is excellent :D)
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Mum had a friend who was a Big Name Lesbian and then, well into her fifties, she was sideswiped by falling in love with a man. She had a number of friends who never spoke to her again using the same spurious logic as above. Mum did, saying, 'One cock doesn't destroy a lifetime of minge.' She has a real turn of phrase, my Mum. Of course, they fell out awfully a few years later, but that's a wholly different story.
(Mum bought me Miss Piggy's Guide to Life when I was little, the Muppets are important in my life :-))
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I have tried with Swimming Anime but I am not quite there. And now of course I feel left behind and it's too late and I might as well give up. I'm not very good with new fandoms.
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BUT IT'S SO ADORABLE ;_; CRIES INTO PUDDING
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Er, that's swimming anime, btw, not being gay. I've given up trying on that one ;-)
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Anyway, congrats on coming out, don't let anyone ruin it for you, enjoy and stay true to yourself :) People are people, can't adjust to any kind of change easily, even when we kinda expect they should.
As for the swimming anime - I don't remember when I last saw ANY anime, least of all swimming ones...
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The swimming anime is wonderful; I am more emotionally invested in it at the moment than literally anything. ;_;
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As for anime, I really don't have time to watch any, so I'll stick to reading manga for now... otherwise my studying time will be seriously diminished :)
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I'm reading all these comments above and I am also sorry about your crappy friend. I mean, I think bi erasure is certainly a thing that happens (at the moment I'm irritated by the dearth of dating websites that force you to pick one gender or the other) but choosing to more accurately define your own sexual ID is NOT FUCKING IT and you are not wielding any privilege over anybody by doing that. Lying about your identity sucks for everyone, and most importantly for you. I would think *any* queer person of any stripe would honor and respect the fact that being honest with yourself, and as honest as you are comfortable being (and can safely be) publicly is important.
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Anyway I just figured if I'm going to come out on LJ I might as well do it in a poll /o\
Yeah, I don't deny that bi erasure in general is an actual thing, at all -- I was bi for a lot of years so I get it. I just, gay people and trans people do not as a class have the privilege or power to actually perpetuate it (like, Dan Savage, as a white affluent gay male with an audience, telling bi women they don't exist, that's definitely a case of erasure with an added dose of misogyny, but there aren't that many like him and that's not his entire platform either). That's all there is to it for me -- that's what I believed when I was still bi and it hasn't changed. I completely reject the idea of "monosexism" however and always have. Gay people are not privileged for only being attracted to members of our own sex; I ( ... )
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Good luck with the parents! <3
And yeah, I think poll-coming-out is pretty fucking awesome. And apropos.
I can't figure out if I've even HEARD of monosexism before, but that concept sounds fucking ludicrous.
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I think the last episode I saw was... 3......? probably?
I'm two or three months behind on everything else it's terrible sob why can't I ever keep up with things
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cries a lot A LOT i am completely emotionally compromised by this anime
if you catch up on nothing else make it Free!
*_*
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