i'm three weeks away from my due date and very excited to finally see, kiss, hug, hold my daughter. on the flip side, i'm completely horrified of labor. i have no idea what to expect, how it's really going to feel, what's going to happen, if everything is going to go alright. i'm just at a total loss, because i've never done this before. and as ( Read more... )

so, today i'm 21 weeks, 1 day pregnant.  and i got an ultrasound this morning for an anatomy screening, meaning we found out that we're having a girl!  seeing that teeny baby on the screen was the absolute coolest thing i've ever looked at in my whole life.  she was moving around so much & her mouth was opening and closing & she kept kicking ( Read more... )

i don't like anything anymore. i don't like being pregnant. i don't like anyone i used to hang out with.  i want to run away and forget any of this ever happened.  but it fucking sucks, because as much as i hate being pregnant, this baby thing has seeped into my mind & i can't stop think about him/her.  and it makes me feel confused & sad & like a ( Read more... )

i'm better lately.  not so sad.  not so bored.  not so lonely.  getting over my hormones, i guess.  or just realizing that that's all everything is.  three out of four of my summer classes began this week.  very interesting ones - women & social action, politics in movies, and art of africa, asia, and the americas.  as for the baby update, this kid ( Read more... )

...i'm finding myself being more in love with devin...he's just being so sweet & he desperately wants this baby to be a girl, which i just think is cute...i'm very glad that i'm involved with someone, that after 2.5 years, he still makes me trip over my words and get butterflies...although, i suppose that could be the baby.  hah.

i feel like some kind of god damned leper.  i haven't seen/heard from any of my friends in going on three weeks.  i'm not contagious...i'm not that boring now...i can stay awake if i take a nap before i go out...i can still smoke grass, i just don't as often.  i don't know.  i guess i can't blame people if they don't want to hang out with a ( Read more... )

i feel like i didn't consider some of the outcomes of my situation.  i'm very confused and need help.

the weather is not helping my mood.  i've been awake since 4 this morning and i should probably take a nap.  i'm hungry and want pasta salad from woody's.  why don't they deliver?  i don't like being sad..i cannot for the life of me get out of this damn funk..blahhhhhh

 the nausea is waning finally and so are the migraines.  but now i'm retaining a lot of water and my right knee is swollen for no reason?  and i feel like i'm schizophrenic when i get filled with rage out of nowhere, but then start laughing within the next 5 minutes.  my emotions are making me feel like i'm going through puberty again (ewww).  and ( Read more... )

i'm very tired of being tired all of the time.  and i'm pretty over feeling sick to my stomach constantly.  i don't understand why people get pregnant on purpose.