i'm going to europe in a month. i don't know if i'm gonna come home. depends on if i can find illegal work and a place to stay. if i do come home... i'll be here for a month. and then i think i'm going to central america. is this a mid-life crisis holy shit i need change my life is stagnant thing? i don't know... i just want to get out. i ( Read more... )

amazing weekend. drive down to camarillo to see dar and give her a cake... have coffee before the meeting and talk and laugh. go to the meeting and accidentally get in a cake fight during the break. after the meeting head north to do a bonfire. bonfire gets busted by the police, so head back to danielle and shelli's for talk and laughter and ( Read more... )

went to a meeting last night and jacob and i wound up talking about lonnie. he asked me why i didn't go to the funeral... i almost started crying. i just couldn't handle it... i was selfish and my heart hurt too much to be around all those people. and then he told me what happened... he didn't overdose. he apparently had a blood clot that got ( Read more... )

i wanted to drink... for like 4 days in a row. one of my girls called me and told me that she wasn't sure if she was an alcoholic, she's too young to be sober, maybe it was just a phase... i said all the right stuff. go to a meeting. try to play out what would happen if you drank. call your sponsor. and in my head... i'm thinkin, yeah, you're ( Read more... )

i want to kill him sometimes. who the fuck fights over myspace???? dude hits me up about recovery... he's in NA. i talk to him about program... and then remember that chris gets worried when i talk to other guys. so i try to throw in that i have a boyfriend by saying that i'm trying to convince him to go to an NA convention with me. chris ( Read more... )

my life would be so much better if i had hairspray. lots and lots of hairspray. cuz then i could spend the next 3 hours fucking with my hair instead of trying to find something to do. i need something to fill my time.

sabrina! come visit me and lets go shopping and go to shows and use obscene amounts of hairspray.

just spent four days in las vegas... turns out four days is way too long to spend there. a city based on greed and lust and booze... not really my thing. played with sierra and the boys and smoked too much and got sick (sierra had a 102 degree fever almost the entire time we were there). rented rascals and rolled around vegas for two days on ( Read more... )

so i officially live in long beach... it's scary and big and new. i've been here two days and still have yet to go explore because i'm convinced that if i leave the condo without chris i won't be able to find my way back. went to a meeting on tuesday night where there were more young people than are sober in the entire county of slo. none of the ( Read more... )

we've been getting in our first fights. i think we're both just stressed about money and moving... i wish i could see him more. i think it'll be better once i get to sleep next to him every night ( Read more... )

so i'm officially moving to long beach... in like a month. he got a job at boeing, so we're moving down there. i'm so excited and so nervous and happy and fearful. i can't wait to live with him and not have to drive 2 hours to see him. i'm excited to live somewhere else and make new friends and go to a new school. i'm excited to leave san luis ( Read more... )