We'll Say it All: A Series of Drabbles and 500-word Interludes (1/5)
Title: We'll Say it All: A Series of Drabbles and 500-word Interludes (1/5)
Pairing: Callie/Arizona
Rating: PG-13
Words: 900
Disclaimer: All television shows, books, movies, and other copyrighted material referred to in this work and the characters, events, and settings thereof are the properties of their respective owners. As this work is an interpretation of the original material and not for profit, it constitutes fair use. Reference to real persons, places, or events are made in a fictional context and are not intended to be libelous, defamatory, or in any way factual.
Summary: Callie and Arizona start to talk. Begins where C/A's last scene in 7.16 left off. This is kind of a continuation of my drabble series "None of the Rest of It" but stands on its own as well.
A/N: Someday I will write fluff maybe in another life. Today is not that day, so be warned. Also, I like to make things a little difficult for myself, so each part of this fic is structured with two opening drabbles, followed by a 500-word interlude, and then two closing drabbles. I drew a lot of inspiration from the discussions that have occurred in the comm over the past few days, so thank you! Gomez's "Little Pieces" also offered some themes to this first part, and I of course do not own that song either.
Also, here is a link to a C/A bonus!drabble (written for the drabble Last Author Standing challenge): Table for Three
“Little Pieces”
Arizona had given up pieces of herself. She’d broken herself into a hundred pieces when she left Callie at the airport and had been shattered into a thousand more when she came back. Her life since “I’m pregnant” had comprised of trying to glue herself back together, of discarding some old pieces and molding new ones. And the little pieces of her heart that she’d previously locked away-well, she was giving them up too, and was giving them to Callie. It was terrifying being a little less whole, and all she wanted was for Callie to make her complete.
*
Ever since Arizona had stomped her heart to a million pieces, Callie had been floating in a sea of uncertainty, unsure of how to rebuild a life that had never managed to seem whole in the first place. The pregnancy had only intensified this uncertainty, and now that every action and every decision seemed to necessitate a step into a minefield, Callie preferred to float. This meant she couldn’t bear to look Arizona in the eye anymore, but with everything so tenuously okay now (she’d take what she could get)…maybe there was something to be said for pretty pink bubbles.
***
“This is not my dream. My dream…doesn’t look like this.”
Callie wasn’t blind. She knew that Arizona was slowly coming apart behind that mask of perk and joy she determinedly presented to the world. Callie had seen Arizona in those moments when she thought the world wasn’t looking. Her girlfriend was becoming a shell of her former self. The Arizona who had kissed her in a dirty bar bathroom had been reduced to the occasional flash of a dimpled smile that never reached those impossibly blue eyes.
It broke Callie’s heart. She didn’t know what was worse-life without Arizona or Arizona without life. But what could she do? She didn’t know how to fix this, or if she ever could. She desperately hoped that if she could just manage to get them through to the birth of the baby, maybe everything would change. Maybe Arizona would take one look at the baby and finally, really come back to her. And maybe then Callie could stop living with the nagging fear that Arizona would walk away again. Maybe.
But right now all she wanted was for Arizona to make things a little bit easier by warming up to Mark. Callie was genuinely impressed with how Mark had been handling the situation, and she didn’t understand why Arizona couldn’t find it in herself to give him some credit, too.
So the first words she spoke after Arizona’s slice of honesty weren’t malicious-just a little confused and mostly sad.
“Do you want out, Arizona? Is that what you’re saying? Because I know you said that you were in, but if this isn’t your dream, then-”
“Callie.” Arizona sighed and dropped the newspaper to her lap.
“No, Arizona. Let me finish. I know this isn’t your dream. I get that. This isn’t exactly what I dreamed about, either. But it happened, and I just wish-” Callie faltered, her throat suddenly tight. She took a breath.
“I just don’t know anymore, Arizona. I’m just so…afraid-afraid of everything, and I just…I don’t know what to do. I don’t know what you want me to do.” She bit her lip and turned away, blinking hard against the tears that pricked her eyes.
“Callie.” Arizona’s voice was gentle. Callie felt her grasp her hand, felt a soft palm against her cheek. “Calliope. Look at me.”
Callie met Arizona’s eyes, and saw that they were as watery as her own.
“I don’t want to leave. Okay? And I don’t want you to say that I can. I want you to tell me that I can’t leave. I want you to tell me that I’m this baby’s mother too, and that I can’t leave because our baby needs both of his or her mommies. I need to matter, Calliope. I just need to know that I matter.”
The quiet desperation in Arizona’s voice ripped painfully into Callie’s chest, and in that moment she realized that in protecting her own heart, she had been breaking Arizona’s.
***
Arizona had flown an entire world away one day, and seemed destined to spend the rest of her life paying for that mistake. So she was giving up pieces of herself, and she was giving them away for free. It seemed unfair to ask Callie for anything, even when all she wanted was for Callie to say something. Anything to make her a little less invisible, a little less unnecessary.
She’d weather a thousand storms if that were what it took for Callie’s big heart to open up and let her in again. But was that any way to live?
*
Callie didn’t know how she could have been so blind.
She knew what it was like to give up so much of yourself that you had nothing left to give. She’d done it with George, and had been wary of doing it again ever since. Sometimes she felt like she was just waiting for a sign-for the universe to say, “This is it. It’s okay now.” And she’d been so afraid everything that could go wrong in her life that she’d failed to see that Arizona was holding a sign, and giving her all the pieces of her heart.
Pairing: Callie/Arizona
Rating: PG-13
Words: 900
Disclaimer: All television shows, books, movies, and other copyrighted material referred to in this work and the characters, events, and settings thereof are the properties of their respective owners. As this work is an interpretation of the original material and not for profit, it constitutes fair use. Reference to real persons, places, or events are made in a fictional context and are not intended to be libelous, defamatory, or in any way factual.
Summary: Callie and Arizona start to talk. Begins where C/A's last scene in 7.16 left off. This is kind of a continuation of my drabble series "None of the Rest of It" but stands on its own as well.
A/N: Someday I will write fluff maybe in another life. Today is not that day, so be warned. Also, I like to make things a little difficult for myself, so each part of this fic is structured with two opening drabbles, followed by a 500-word interlude, and then two closing drabbles. I drew a lot of inspiration from the discussions that have occurred in the comm over the past few days, so thank you! Gomez's "Little Pieces" also offered some themes to this first part, and I of course do not own that song either.
Also, here is a link to a C/A bonus!drabble (written for the drabble Last Author Standing challenge): Table for Three
“Little Pieces”
Arizona had given up pieces of herself. She’d broken herself into a hundred pieces when she left Callie at the airport and had been shattered into a thousand more when she came back. Her life since “I’m pregnant” had comprised of trying to glue herself back together, of discarding some old pieces and molding new ones. And the little pieces of her heart that she’d previously locked away-well, she was giving them up too, and was giving them to Callie. It was terrifying being a little less whole, and all she wanted was for Callie to make her complete.
*
Ever since Arizona had stomped her heart to a million pieces, Callie had been floating in a sea of uncertainty, unsure of how to rebuild a life that had never managed to seem whole in the first place. The pregnancy had only intensified this uncertainty, and now that every action and every decision seemed to necessitate a step into a minefield, Callie preferred to float. This meant she couldn’t bear to look Arizona in the eye anymore, but with everything so tenuously okay now (she’d take what she could get)…maybe there was something to be said for pretty pink bubbles.
***
“This is not my dream. My dream…doesn’t look like this.”
Callie wasn’t blind. She knew that Arizona was slowly coming apart behind that mask of perk and joy she determinedly presented to the world. Callie had seen Arizona in those moments when she thought the world wasn’t looking. Her girlfriend was becoming a shell of her former self. The Arizona who had kissed her in a dirty bar bathroom had been reduced to the occasional flash of a dimpled smile that never reached those impossibly blue eyes.
It broke Callie’s heart. She didn’t know what was worse-life without Arizona or Arizona without life. But what could she do? She didn’t know how to fix this, or if she ever could. She desperately hoped that if she could just manage to get them through to the birth of the baby, maybe everything would change. Maybe Arizona would take one look at the baby and finally, really come back to her. And maybe then Callie could stop living with the nagging fear that Arizona would walk away again. Maybe.
But right now all she wanted was for Arizona to make things a little bit easier by warming up to Mark. Callie was genuinely impressed with how Mark had been handling the situation, and she didn’t understand why Arizona couldn’t find it in herself to give him some credit, too.
So the first words she spoke after Arizona’s slice of honesty weren’t malicious-just a little confused and mostly sad.
“Do you want out, Arizona? Is that what you’re saying? Because I know you said that you were in, but if this isn’t your dream, then-”
“Callie.” Arizona sighed and dropped the newspaper to her lap.
“No, Arizona. Let me finish. I know this isn’t your dream. I get that. This isn’t exactly what I dreamed about, either. But it happened, and I just wish-” Callie faltered, her throat suddenly tight. She took a breath.
“I just don’t know anymore, Arizona. I’m just so…afraid-afraid of everything, and I just…I don’t know what to do. I don’t know what you want me to do.” She bit her lip and turned away, blinking hard against the tears that pricked her eyes.
“Callie.” Arizona’s voice was gentle. Callie felt her grasp her hand, felt a soft palm against her cheek. “Calliope. Look at me.”
Callie met Arizona’s eyes, and saw that they were as watery as her own.
“I don’t want to leave. Okay? And I don’t want you to say that I can. I want you to tell me that I can’t leave. I want you to tell me that I’m this baby’s mother too, and that I can’t leave because our baby needs both of his or her mommies. I need to matter, Calliope. I just need to know that I matter.”
The quiet desperation in Arizona’s voice ripped painfully into Callie’s chest, and in that moment she realized that in protecting her own heart, she had been breaking Arizona’s.
***
Arizona had flown an entire world away one day, and seemed destined to spend the rest of her life paying for that mistake. So she was giving up pieces of herself, and she was giving them away for free. It seemed unfair to ask Callie for anything, even when all she wanted was for Callie to say something. Anything to make her a little less invisible, a little less unnecessary.
She’d weather a thousand storms if that were what it took for Callie’s big heart to open up and let her in again. But was that any way to live?
*
Callie didn’t know how she could have been so blind.
She knew what it was like to give up so much of yourself that you had nothing left to give. She’d done it with George, and had been wary of doing it again ever since. Sometimes she felt like she was just waiting for a sign-for the universe to say, “This is it. It’s okay now.” And she’d been so afraid everything that could go wrong in her life that she’d failed to see that Arizona was holding a sign, and giving her all the pieces of her heart.