*phones you* Hugh? Hey, um, I can't hear you so good, but I'm at some pub down the street from your place with Colin.
Um, I think he's still here. I don't know. I started throwing darts with some guy with a limp, then some woman came over with free beer and next thing I knew, I was singing songs with some old guys from Ireland. I don't know why they are here.
But, I can't find Colin, and I think he's gone home. Is he with you? I practically had to drag him out from under the piano to get him to come with me.
*dives for the phone, scowls at the crackling and moves around the flat* Here? Can you - oh, hang on, say that ag - aha! Hang on. *goes out onto the balcony*
Yes, yes the last time I saw him, he was here. Well, I'm glad YOU were able to get him out from under there, I was threatening to get the dustmop before I remembered I don't know where it is. Did y - hang on, quite a lot of birds out h - OW. One of them p - OW. Bloody rats with w - OW AGH WHAT is going ON, it's like a bloody Hitchcock fi - ohnoyoudon'tyoustupidfOI
*sound of wings beating, muffled sound of shouting human voice in the background*
*grumbles, rifling through desk drawers in the study* Third bloody one this week, they're not CHEAP, you know, s'not like they can USE them. Going to buy a revolver, I MEAN it this time.
*hears his name, goes back out onto the balcony with a flyswatter and DARES any birds come near him*
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Marjorie. Lord. *tries not to snicker*
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2. A sandwich is not a "meal".
3. Not even sex under the piano?
4. ....where were you earlier, I tried to call.
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2. That was a fantastic sandwich. It was a meal.
3. Ouch.
4. The birds keep taking my cell phones.
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Um, I think he's still here. I don't know. I started throwing darts with some guy with a limp, then some woman came over with free beer and next thing I knew, I was singing songs with some old guys from Ireland. I don't know why they are here.
But, I can't find Colin, and I think he's gone home. Is he with you? I practically had to drag him out from under the piano to get him to come with me.
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Yes, yes the last time I saw him, he was here. Well, I'm glad YOU were able to get him out from under there, I was threatening to get the dustmop before I remembered I don't know where it is. Did y - hang on, quite a lot of birds out h - OW. One of them p - OW. Bloody rats with w - OW AGH WHAT is going ON, it's like a bloody Hitchcock fi - ohnoyoudon'tyoustupidfOI
*sound of wings beating, muffled sound of shouting human voice in the background*
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*checks my jacket*
Shit. HUGH!! DUMP THE CONTENTS OF YOUR POCKETS OUT! THEY'LL EAT YOUR EYEBALLS! DO IT!
*signs my credit slip at the bar, last search for Colin - not there - run back in the direction I think I came from to Hugh and Colin's flat*
Hugh? HUGH!!!
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*hears his name, goes back out onto the balcony with a flyswatter and DARES any birds come near him*
...Will?!
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