Moving On (17/20)
Title: Moving On
Rating: R
Pairing: Finn/Sam
Words: ~3,000
Notes: Next up in the Sam/Finn mpreg verse. Fics in order you should read them before this one: Confusion, Help Me, Getting By.
[ 1 ] [ 2 ] [ 3 ] [ 4 ] [ 5 ] [ 6 ] [ 7 ] [ 8 ] [ 9 ] [ 10 ] [ 11 ] [ 12 ] [ 13 ] [ 14 ] [ 15 ] [ 16 ]
Married life was a lot easier than either boy expected, mostly because they’d been acting like they were married for years. They might have been indulging in sex more often than before, but the thought of a third child was really exciting and they couldn’t help it.
Annika turned five that fall and they started her in a preschool program that ran while they were at work. Now only Caroline was in the hospital daycare during the day. It was hard for both boys to send Annika off to preschool - especially Sam - because it meant she was growing up and that kind of freaked them out. She loved preschool though, and at her birthday party that fall, she had family members in attendance, and for the first time ever, a few friends from schools as well.
In November, Sam was far too excited when he got sick, and he practically celebrated when he threw up. The following day he found himself in Dr. Lopez’s office, the wand for the ultrasound on his belly. Sam was weak and wanted to curl up in bed, but he had to know. “Well, Sam,” Dr. Lopez said softly. “It looks like a false alarm.”
Sam froze and looked at Dr. Lopez in shock. “Um…what?” he asked.
“I’m sorry, Sam, but you’re not pregnant,” Dr. Lopez said as he shut down the machine. “It looks as though you’re really just sick.”
Sam frowned and got himself cleaned up. Dr. Lopez looked sympathetic and said, “Go get some rest, Sam. If it’s meant to happen, it will happen.”
Sam was quiet the whole drive home, even when Car sat in the backseat babbling away after he picked her up. They cuddled together on the couch, a re-run of a baseball game on TV. “Daddy sleep?” Car asked.
Sam nodded and Car grabbed her blanket. She curled up against him where he was snuggled up on the couch, and she muttered, “Me too.”
Sam was better in about a week and he and Finn were back at it. By the time they were packing for their February honeymoon, Sam was ready to give up.
“It’ll be okay, Sam,” Finn said, noting how roughly Sam was shoving clothes into his suitcase.
“What if it doesn’t work? What if I’m…broken or something?” Sam asked sadly.
Finn sighed and said, “Don’t talk like that. You’re fine.”
Sam frowned and just kept silently packing. They were taken to the airport by Puck in the morning on his way to work. The girls off were mostly asleep, and Finn and Sam had to carry them onto the plane. Sam was silent most of the flight, and when they landed in New York, Kurt and Blaine met them at the airport. The drive to Sam and Finn’s hotel was quiet, and they hardly said a word except for when they said goodbye to the girls. They would be staying at Kurt and Blaine’s while Finn and Sam enjoyed the luxury of their hotel room. Finn didn’t say a word until the door to their hotel room closed behind them. “Sam, please stop this,” Finn begged. “This is our honeymoon - you should enjoy it.”
Sam looked at him sadly and said, “I feel like I’m letting you down.”
“No, Sam…don’t,” Finn told him. He walked towards Sam and pulled him into a hug. “You’re not letting me down.” Finn rubbed
Sam’s back and said, “Please don’t beat yourself up over this. If it doesn’t happen. It doesn’t happen. “I love our girls and if they’re all we get, I’m fine with that.”
Sam buried his face in Finn’s shoulder and sighed, “I’m sorry.”
“Stop apologizing,” Finn insisted. “Please don’t blame yourself for any of this. It’s out of your control. I just want you to be happy. You get to go to Comic Con, right?”
Sam smiled a little and said, “Yeah, I guess.”
“C’mon,” Finn said, backing away from Sam to look at him eye to eye. “We’re here to have fun. If we make a baby while we’re here, sweet, but if we don’t I swear I’m not going to be upset. I want you to enjoy yourself. It’s been your dream to go to Comic Con.”
Sam just reached up to pull Finn into a kiss. It still bothered Sam that they were having such trouble when conceiving the girls had been so easy, but he pushed that from his mind the best that he could. Sam tried his best to warm up to Finn so they could try again that night, but nothing happened. The most Sam felt like doing was making out with him - the thought that now of all times, when they were able and ready to support a third child, was when they weren’t able to conceive - that was too much for Sam.
Morning came and Sam found himself curled calmly in Finn’s arms, and he rolled over to smile at Finn peacefully. He felt better now that he’d gotten a full night’s sleep. They just laid in bed for a little bit, kissing and lazily touching, but Finn’s cell phone went off before they could go any further. “Kurt and Blaine said they’d meet us at the Javits Center with the girls. Apparently Kurt sewed their costumes?” Finn said as he looked down at his phone in confusion.
Sam nodded and said, “I know. I sent him pictures of what I wanted the girls’ costumes to look like and he said he’d make it happen.”
“I’m still confused about all of this costume stuff,” Finn said as he sat up in bed.
The thought of dressing up and going to Comic Con for the first time ever had Sam considerably more chipper. He smiled at Finn and said, “You’ll make a wonderful Captain Jack.”
“And you’re a Doctor?” Finn asked lamely. “Right?”
“The Doctor,” Sam told him like it was the most obvious thing ever. “Eleven, to be exact.”
“What are the girls going as?”
Sam sighed and pulled out his costume, complete with a fez hat that he’d found at an old thrift shop. “Annika’s going to be a dalek and Caroline’s going to be K9.”
“Oh god, you just had to let her be a dog, didn’t you?” Finn asked.
Lately, along with her obsession with sports, Car had taken a particular love to animals. Puppies, specifically. She’d hop around the house on all fours and bark at ridiculously high pitches. Sam laughed and said, “Of course. She’s going to bark and be adorable.”
“Annoying, more like,” Finn grumbled to himself.
Sam grabbed his clothes and went into the bathroom to take a shower. “I’m going to get breakfast. D’you want anything?” Finn called through the door to Sam.
“Duh,” Sam shouted back.
By the time Finn got back with stacks of food and huge glasses of orange juice, Sam was already in costume and sending one last text to Kurt to be sure the girls were set for the day. He’d also set Finn’s clothes out so he could be in costume as well. They ate in pleasant silence, and Finn couldn’t help but concede that Sam actually looked kind of cute dressed up all dorky like that.
Finn showered and dressed after breakfast and Sam beamed at how Finn looked. “You look great,” he smiled.
Sam leaned up and kissed Finn, and Finn couldn’t help but smile at how excited and happy Sam was again. It was nice to see him so cheery and not upset about not getting pregnant. Finn was still a little amazed that now they wanted a baby and were having troubles. He hoped that didn’t mean that if Sam did get pregnant, he’d have troubles the whole time. They could deal with anything that came their way, sure, but getting Sam pregnant was hard enough - if they had to worry the whole time until it was born, that might just upset Sam more than anything else.
Before Finn knew it, he was going outside with Sam to catch a taxi to go to the venue. Traffic was crazy as usual, and Finn knew he’d never actually be able to live in New York like Kurt and Blaine did. When they got to the venue, they stood where they said they’d meet Kurt and Blaine, and sure enough Kurt’s car pulled up to the curb.
“Daddy! Papa!” Annika called out excitedly. “Look! Look! I have a dalek dress! Isn’t it pretty!?”
Sam helped her out of the car and sure enough, her poofy dress looked just like the body of a dalek. She wore a hat that looked like the top, and Sam thanked Kurt profusely - for both of the girls’ costumes. Car was wearing a blue suit and puppy ears and kept barking and scratching like a puppy at Finn as he helped her out of the car. “Thanks, guys,” Finn smiled.
“We’ll pick you guys up tonight? We can have dinner at our place,” Blaine offered.
Sam and Finn nodded and thanked them again for the costumes and watching the girls. Kurt and Blaine drove away as soon as traffic died down, and the Hudson family walked into Comic Con. Annika was proud and loved the attention she got for her costume, though she wasn’t sure why. She was content all the way until she saw a little girl about her size wearing pink, and then it all went to hell.
“Daddy!” she whined. “Why does that girl have a pink Darth Vader princess costume and I don’t?”
“Because you have a dalek dress, sweetie,” Sam told her gently.
“No! I like Darth Vader! Not a stupid dalek!” Annie cried.
Sam picked her up and walked away from where a girl stood in a pink dress with a matching Darth Vader helmet. Annika pouted into his shoulder but he just walked her over to where Finn and Car sat with a bowl of fries. Car was happily chewing on the food as Sam brought a pouty Annika over to where they were sitting. They sat down with them and shared the fries and Finn asked, “Are you having fun?”
Sam smiled and nodded. “This is amazing. I never thought I’d be able to go to Comic Con,” Sam confessed. He gently ran his fingers over Finn’s and said, “Thanks.”
“You’re welcome,” Finn smiled. “And for the record, Car refuses to use actual words. While she’s in this costume, all she’s doing is barking. I blame you.”
With a shrug, Sam grinned and said, “She’s in character.”
Finn held Car for most of the day as Sam went to exhibit after exhibit, the grin on his face only growing wider with each passing minute. Annie liked running around with him and meeting all the other people dressed up. She practically screamed when they ran into someone dressed from Avatar. “Daddy! Daddy look! It’s your favorite people!” she said, tugging at his hand and dragging him over towards them.
His face was red and he apologized profusely and had to explain to the people dressed in hardly anything and painted from head to toe in blue paint that he was just a fan of the movie and that she was well aware of it. They were very nice about it and gave her a high five before walking away.
When it got to be time for dinner and they didn’t feel like paying for the over-expensive food, they decided it was time to leave; especially now that Car kept throwing hissy fits. Kurt and Blaine agreed to meet them outside the venue in half an hour. They waited where Kurt and Blaine had dropped off the girls, and all of them climbed in to go back to Kurt and Blaine’s place.
The whole time they drove there and ate dinner, Annika went on and on about how she got to meet Jedi guys and Darth Vader (but she was rather bitter when describing the little pink Darth Vader). She bragged about seeing Spiderman and the Avatar people and The Incredibles, and she wouldn’t stop talking. “Have fun with her,” Finn teased as he said goodbye to Kurt and Blaine at the end of the night.
The girls had said goodbye to Finn and Sam and were now curled up watching Tangled for the millionth time. Sam and Finn were going to go back to the hotel and relax before they had to fly back the following evening. They hadn’t been able to take off much work, so they settled for a weekend away. “Did you have fun?” Finn asked in the taxi ride home.
Sam nodded earnestly and said, “It was amazing, Finn. Seriously. Thank you.”
Finn discreetly covered Sam’s hand with his own between them, and he smiled. “Good.”
When the boys got back to their hotel, they went upstairs and Finn was more than happy to change out of his costume. Sam crawled into bed wearing nothing but his boxers and Finn looked at him curiously. “Dude, it’s only like nine,” Finn pointed out.
“Yeah, so?” Sam asked. “Grab us some beers from the mini-fridge and let’s watch a movie.”
Finn grabbed two bottles of Guinness from the fridge and popped the caps before handing one to Sam. Sam took a big swig and found Die Hard playing on a movie channel, so they settled on that. Sam naturally drifted so he was leaning against Finn, and Finn’s arm held Sam close. “Do you think we’re just not meant to have any more kids?” Sam asked sadly.
Finn bit his lip. It certainly seemed like a possibility. They’d been trying for six months and now there were no signs that it had worked. Sam took Finn’s silence as a yes and slowly tilted his head to place a chaste kiss on Finn’s chest. “We still have Annika and Caroline,” Finn reminded him. “They’re perfect and I’ll be just as happy if they’re all we ever get.”
Sam sighed and nodded. He looked up at Finn, trying to hide the emotion in his voice as he whispered, “Try one last time?”
Finn was silent, but nodded. He hated that they were giving up hope, but what else could they do? Finn leaned down and kissed Sam softly, the end credits of Die Hard forgotten in the background. Sam reached up and gently placed his hand on the back of Finn’s neck, and they kissed like that for a long while, just falling into the touch of the other. Finn slowly moved them so Sam was lying down, Finn half on top of him straddling his leg. Sam let out a soft whimper and Finn asked, “You okay?”
Sam looked up at Finn, his breathing ragged and his eyes slightly watery as he nodded, “I’m fine.”
Inside he hated himself, though. Inside he couldn’t stand that he couldn’t get pregnant. He was pissed at his body for not letting it happen when he wanted it to, and he hated the slight look of disappointment that Finn could never hide. Their lips met again and Sam tried to keep the multitude of emotions from ruining this moment.
It was difficult, as Sam found out. He kept throwing his head back on the pillows to hide his sadness as Finn prepped him, and Sam kept his head buried in Finn’s shoulder the whole time they made love. When Finn muttered that he was close, Sam concentrated his mind on himself. He thought over and over in his head about babies and repeatedly willed himself to get pregnant. He begged his body to let this happen as Finn came, and Sam was only pulled from his reverie when Finn kissed him and looked at him curiously. “You…you didn’t…” Finn stammered as he looked down between them.
Sam was still hard, but he was so focused on begging his body to do what he wanted, he didn’t orgasm. Finn pulled out of Sam slowly and asked, “Did I do something wrong?”
“No,” Sam said insistently, his head shaking back and forth as he held Finn’s face gently. “No, you were great. I’m…I’m so close.”
Finn looked disbelieving, but nodded and slowly kissed down Sam’s body. Sam did his best to focus on Finn and Finn tried his best to make Sam feel good. Finally Sam came, though it wasn’t nearly as pleasurable as usual. Finn choked a bit as Sam came without warning, and he swallowed. Sam looked down at Finn sheepishly and said, “Sorry.”
Finn insisted that it was okay, and then got up to brush his teeth. Sam just rolled over in bed and faced the window, lost in his thoughts. As Finn brushed his teeth, he noticed Sam’s strange behavior. It didn’t take a scientist to figure out what was running through Sam’s head. Slowly Finn walked back to the bed and curled up behind Sam.
Sam shifted a bit as he felt Finn’s strong arm around his waist, and he instinctively covered Finn’s arm with his own, their fingers interlaced against Sam’s stomach. Finn couldn’t find a single word to say, so instead he just kissed Sam’s shoulder blade.
Sam tried to stop the guilt bubbling in his stomach and leaned against Finn, into his touch. Their bodies were fit together perfectly and Sam felt safe and secure with Finn, even if he hated himself in that moment. Sam’s voice trembled as he whispered, “I’m sorry.”
Finn could feel every emotion running through Sam in that moment, but he still couldn’t speak, and instead he feigned sleep as he rested behind Sam. Sam sighed and laid there as well, and sleep didn’t claim either man until well into the night.